AboutPastor Kimberly Lemler Expertise As an ordained minister,counselor and life coach, I can help you with questions related to divorce. In my first marriage, my husband left because of adultery and I was left with a young child as a single parent. I understand the pain and loneliness.I later remarried and have been married for 16 years. My advice to you will come from experience and from the Word of God.
Outside of AllExperts I can be reached at:
Walk By Faith Counseling Center
www.GodsHealingPower.org
Experience Ordained Minister; Counselor; Life Coach; Street Ministry; Worldwide Prayerline Ministry; I have been through a divorce.
Publications I have a Healing CD and other teachings available on our website. I also have a weekly radio teaching broadcast.
Education/Credentials I am a former school teacher, a graduate of Indiana University,1984. I have received biblical instruction at Victory Bible Institute and am currently working on a PhD.
Past/Present Clients I have ministered to many, many clients over a 15 year period.
Question My boyfriend has been divorced for 2 years and has 2 small children. He is trying to be super dad and he and his ex split custody 50/50. The ex calls excessively and anytime she needs something he goes running. We are constantly running to her house for stuff. He says he only does this for his kids and he wants to see them every chance he gets. He did not want the divorce. I do not have this close relationship with my ex; although we split custody with our kids and are wonderful parents. We realize that since the divorce there is a separate relationship with our kids and our new lives. My boyfriend wants us to be a big happy family with his ex. I can't help but feel very jealous of this relationship. It has nothing to do with his kids, it is only the ex. Should there be a separate relationship and does he need to back off a bit from running to his ex wife and kids at every opportunity.
Answer Hi Tina,
I think you are correct in saying that he may need to back off a bit. If the ex is calling him to be her handyman, then she needs to look in the yellow pages for a substitute. If she has legitimate concerns regarding the children, then that's fine. But I have known some women to go overboard in demanding attention and sometimes it's for the reason of causing distress in his present relationship. She WANTS you to be jealous...and so right now she is getting her wish...
Divorced parents can have a perfectly harmonious relationship because of the children and still lead separate lives. After all, that's why there was a divorce in the first place... to get away from the other person...
You say that he didn't want the divorce. So is he still in love with her? Does he want her back? Since he is spending so much time with her, perhaps his actions are a clue to his inner feelings. You need to look into this a bit deeper...
