AboutPhilip Belove, Ed.D. Expertise Divorce is the beginning of a life review process. For many people, it`is the first intentional decision they make about their lives. The transition into the next stage of life is difficult at first, but it gets easier. The questions I can help you with: What happened? How do I take care of our children? How do I get over my anger? How do I plan a future for myself?
Experience I am Philip Belove, psychologist and coach. My specialty is helping people do their midlife transformation work, a psychological project that creates a foundation for happy and satisfying second half of life.
Midlife Work, because it involves so much careful attention to inner truth, is notoriously stressful on marriages and on dating relationships.
The challenges of the midlife project are echoed in the typical questions asked me as a dating-at-midlife expert:
?Learning to reconcile what you say with what you do. This challenge is echoed in questions like: Why does he say this when he does that? What is really happening?
?Learning to create your own dreams instead of being the victim of someone else's. This challenged is echoed in questions like these: How do I say that I don't want to xyz? I've been lying about some things and what should I do now?
?Learning to live a life that suits you. This challenge produces questions like Is what I'm doing normal? What if my kids think I'm crazy? How can I say that this is starting to bother me?
A person doing Midlife Transformation Work needs to develop 1) A Working Vision, 2) Skills and Strategies to realize that vision, and 3) External sources of support for the project. My role for people is to be part of the support system. I help people clarify their visions, develop the strategies and skills they need, and I help them review their progress.
Education/Credentials M.A. Counseling Psychology
Ed.D. Counsulting Psychology (Family Therapy)
Question ok my boyfriend and i met in irak we where both in the millitary, and we where both married to other people! Ok well we ended up becomming intimate in irak and concieved a child of course i came back sooner then he did, but now two and a half years later we are still together but its a struggle everyday we se his wife every wekend because they have a daughter together and she cant stop asking for money even though we are broke to after our second child and his pot habbit, i am so confused, i love his daughter but just cant seem to get passed his x-wife she calls every week asking for money and she calls him a good for nothing dad until he gives her money and he always does what she want no matter what i say, but apperently he wants to be with me forever i feel so annoyed and i think i mught just hate this situation i rather be single but he wont let me break up with him, he rather see my kids and i in the streets then me leave him i dont know what to do anymore this really sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Answer The way most people handle the harassment about money from an ex is to have a legal agreement and to honor it. Then if she hassles you can get a restraining order and argue that you've done what was required and she has to leave you alone.
Is he divorced? Are you re-married. These are important questions.
Otherwise you have to decide on a few things. How long are you willing to tolerate this situation? What will you do when you decide it is intolerable. (Good idea to discuss this with a profession, someone who isn't as furious as you are. )
If you are still military counseling should be available. I work with people on the phone and do offer discounts but it's still something you'd have to pay for.
