Expert: Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. aka Doctor Becky - 10/17/2009

Question
I have been married to my husband for 6 months and we have been separated for 3 months. He is very controlling and it has gotten so bad that I have moved back home with my mother. We have tried going to marriage counseling but that did not help. I am tried of being trapped in this marriage. I don't know what to do. Can you please help me?

Answer
Dear Kearston,

I am so sorry that you are going through a bad time when this time so soon after your marriage ought to be a happy one. It does sound like your husband is too immature to have a healthy relationship at this time, and although I am sad to say it, I want you to know that it is OK to get a divorce so soon after a marriage. Some people just don't do well once they are married ... it actually can bring about the "dark side" in many. You say this man is controlling, and that is not good. The chances of him changing without being highly motivated are zero. It is best to cut your losses before it becomes even more difficult to leave -- like if you had children together.

If I were you I would call your local family violence center and request counseling. They will help you understand what is going on so that you can make a clear decision. Counseling at such places if free of charge, and the quality of the therapy is excellent. You need to do this for yourself.

Good luck,

Doctor Becky