AboutKindred Beisinger penname K D Elizabeth Beisinger Expertise I can answer general questions regarding separation, property, and some custody questions. I cannot answer legal questions or specific questions pertaining to individual states and counties. I can offer support through the pending time, as well as offering assistance and ideas as you move on as a single individual. I can tell you how to avoid repeat pitfalls and help you learn to leave old baggage out of new relationships. I can help you work through the contemplative time of "what if" and "if only." I am able to offer advice in dealing with unnecessary guilt, undeserved judgment, and share insight as to discerning between concerned friends, family and coworkers and nosey gossips.
Experience I have been divorced more than once and am now married to my soulmate. We are living the exact life we both wanted to build 30 years ago, long before we ever met. Well actually it's better than I had dared hope.
Question I am thinking of getting a divorce from my husband but as all women are I am scared to be on my own! We have two small children and I don't want to have to take them from their home, afterall, it's easier for him to move than me! Since he won't just leave and be civil I was wondering if there was a trick to getting him to go before I get the divorce papers and all the legal stuff involved?
Answer Dear Amy,
I don't know of any "tricks" and I don't think I'd recommend anything less than honesty, anyway. If there is the fear of abuse, that's another matter, in which a local woman's shelter could help you obtain paperwork and probably stay in the house, but if it's just a matter of both of you not agreeing, then this is my recommendation. Remember, I am not an attorney. Since you are the one planning to file, simply discuss what you want with your attorney and he or she will recommend the best way to proceed. Usually judges do try to keep the children in the environment in which they are accustomed for stability reasons, so that will be going in your favor, if the two of you purchased the home together after the marriage. Now, you will probably have to prove that you can maintain the home through the actual proceedings and depending upon the time the two of you have lived there, he will be entitled to equity if you are awarded the home, in the final decree.
If this home belonged to him before the marriage, you have a different issue altogether.
No tricks to recommend, just simple straightforward facts and paperwork is the best way to go. If there is no fear of abuse, I would offer this thought. In this economy, with small children, two incomes or combined effort may be more valuable than you realize.
Kind Regards,
KD
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