AboutBecky Whetstone, Ph.D. aka Doctor Becky Expertise I can answer questions regarding marriage and family concerning marital crisis, separating, Managed Separations, deciding to divorce, the divorce process and divorce therapy, and post divorce issues. I am a psychological and mental health specialist, and not an attorney, so unfortunately I wouldn't be able to answer your legal questions -- but I look forward to any questions regarding relationship health or deciding to separate of divorce – including those about children.
Experience I am a Marriage and family Therapist and work with couples and families in marital crisis and/or considering divorce every day. I help them make the wisest possible decision for them, and help them put their marriage on track or help ease them through divorce.
Organizations American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
Texas Association of Marriage & Family Therapists
San Antonio Association of Marriage & Family Therapists
Publications San Antonio Express-News
North San Antonio Times
Education/Credentials M.A. and Ph.D. in Marriage & Family Therapy
BA in Journalism
Licensed Professional Counselor
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Question I'm 50 yrs old and have been married and living in Texas for 10 yrs. I'm not American and, though highly qualified, ignorant in divorce matters, not coming from a divorce culture. My husband filed for divorce 'because of the fighting' although he never wanted to talk about anything or sort anything out! To me he was very emotionally abusive but I always believed change was possible.I'm an emotional disaster zone! The money I paid the lawyer is gone, though he hasn't done anything yet,except compile the info I gave him.I feel walked on just like by my husband - he won't address my concerns,except to run up more charges.Dealing with him is more stressful than living with my husband still.Both are very arrogant except I pay for his! I feel he thinks I don't know much and so I won't mind paying a lot if I'm going to get part of my husband's retirement (which is the law anyway). What can I do? I have so many things to consider like whether I stay here (I have an elderly parent living alone), finding a home, insurance, credit etc.I really can't cope with this. Thanks for any advice.
Answer Hi Mary,
Wow -- you do have problems. I don't really think I am going to be able to help that much with words that might be written here, you need an advocate! Have you thought about getting low or no cost therapy in your town? I am sure you must have a family violence center that would see you for free since you have been emotionally abused.
What I would also do is to tell your lawyer that if you do not get your needs met you will file a grievance with the state bar association about him. If he does not accommodate you, then file that grievance. See if there is a social justice center in your area that might help you, and I am sure the counselors at the family violence center in your town have a world of information that would be helpful to you.
