About Rebecca Expertise Life happens, If your mind is in a mix up I can help you sort your worries and organize your life priorities systematically. Giving you Non-judgemental answers providing you with a honest answer,I also assist in locating information that may guide you in the right direction. Helping you obtain your goals before, during and after divorce. Physical and mental abuse is an area I am also familiar with, helping you with details and steps to get you the support you need.
Experience 25 yrs of experience with physical and mental abusers and their cycles.
Assist with the preparations of divorce documents and procedures.
Child development; non-healthy relationships and the affects they have on children.
Education/Credentials Advisor and mentor for at risk families
Accreditation/Certification,Child developement
Personal Experience
Question My boyfriend of almost 2 years now is going through a divorce right now but the ex won`t sign the papers because she wants more child support, but my real issue is should I marry this man? First off, he lied about even being married, then when I found out he told me they were divorced, then I find out that they`re just separated not really divorced. He has 2 kids with this woman and he was still able to see them but not allowed to associate with the ex. One day I get a text from him about his kids and it was meant for her, I was enraged that he was still talking to her after we agreed that he could still see his kids as long as he did not talk to her. So that completely betrayed my trust for him, I love him but ever since that happen I feel like I can`t trust him at all....I know he`s a good guy and all but I feel like he still has something with her because they were married and have 2 kids together so I`m just the runner up because she actually left him, so I feel like he misses her or something. The main reason I feel he is`nt trustworthy is because he lied about everything pertaining to her, the marriage, the divorce, the kids, and he would talk to her and hide it from me, I`m I just being paranoid or does he still have feelings for his ex-wife?
Answer Dear Jade,
This may not be what you want to hear but, your boyfriend and his wife share one common bond, their children. Your boyfriend and his ex-wife need to communicate its inevitable and its crucial in the upbringing of their children. No one should ever stand in the way of that. Unless of course, either parent is a danger to the children.
In regards to the relationship between you and him, He may have not been ready to start a relationship with anyone due to his situation, He brought you into a whirlwind of confusion, and unfairly loaded his baggage on you. It also sounds like he has made promises that he hasn't kept and feels as if he needs to hide certain matters from you. Granted, the lying led you to feel paranoid, being suspicious, distrustful, fearful and obsessed. If you want this relationship to work out, As difficult as it may seem, the two of you will need sit and have a serious conversation to build your relationship into a healthy one. Once reasonable details have been established with him being upfront and honest with what he is doing, and you sorting out your insecurities and above all, learning to trust in him once again. The two of you will slowly but surely be okay. The ball is in your court!
Thank you for confiding your dilemma. The best of luck,
Rebecca
