Question I am divorce and have been for a little over a year. in that time i have found the most amazing woman. we have been talking about getting married. my question how do i tell my three boys this is what i want to do? i boys are 7, 4, and 3. they have been around her two boys and they seem to play together very well. i just don't know what to say to my boys.
Answer Of course, they will go through so many emotions afterward. The best thing to do is get to those emotions and handle them as they come. Understand, that what you say will not affect their reaction as much as you think. There are no magic words you can say to make this go as smoothly as you would like.
You would be surprised as how much children know. Your 7 year old, likely, has been discussing the possibility of a new mom with his friends already. Your 4 year old has noticed how much you like the lady already. The 3 year old might only be considering the pros and cons of her presence. So tell them as simply as possible and wait for their reaction. They already know what it's like for someone to be special to them. So build on that concept. First ask them if they like her. Ask them why the feel the way they do. The information they give you will tell you if she is right for your children. If it seems she is a good match for them, go on to inform them of your choice. Tell them she is special to you and you would like to marry her. Don't assume you know what they mean if they are quiet or not quite using the proper words. Their thoughts will be something you may not think of. Also, let them visit your family and friends so they can have a chance to discuss it with those people. Getting the emotional support of their loved ones will make them feel respected. They will gain perspectives that might help them with the transition into the new family. Also, information may come out that you did not get from them. Some things should only be handled between the kids and their confidant and some things should be handled by you.
Oh yeah, when you get married you should buy a deep freezer to keep extra food in. You'll have A LOT of boys in the house.
