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Divorce Issues/My daughter is newly married to an Army E-2,


My 20 year old daughter is newly married to a young man in the Army and he is stationed in FT. Polk, LA. They live on base and he is mentally abusive and has recently started putting his hands on her. She is 11 weeks pregnant and scared and alone and just wants to come home and get a divorce. She had planned on flying home the day after Thanksgiving and he cancelled her plane ticket. She is afraid and basically alone and does not know what to do?

Hi Erika.

Thank you for your question. Fortunately, my husband spent 20 years in the military. This helps me provide you with this answer. Going to the post police (MP's) may not accomplish anything other than stirring up the problem. I do not recommend this to be your daughter's first step - UNLESS her husband is doing more than touching her -- as you know, police are going to want proof. However, with that said, domestic violence can also escalate quite quickly and unexpectedly. So, your daughter should waste no time in reaching out. She absolutely needs to put her needs, and those of her unborn child, in front of the desires or early career of her husbands. He might lose a little. She could lose A LOT!

As with each community, and Army posts, naval stations, etc., are communities in and of themselves, have a certain culture. Yet, the military also has protocols in reaction to any kind of complaint. My recommendation is that your daughter call the Ombudsman at the fort. Follow this link:  An Ombudsman is a volunteer -usually a wife of a long term service member- who is the liaison between the military and civilians. This person should have the understanding, empathy and experience needed to guide your daughter to the right people. If they think the MPs should be brought in - do not hesitate to do that. At the very least, they should listen and help sort out her concerns. Note: Not knowing what her husband does in the Army, I do not know if this the Ombudsman for her group. However, this person will be able to direct her to the right one.

I sincerely hope she gets the appropriate assistance she needs asap. Best wishes to all of you. And, Erika, you've done the right thing in reaching out...

My best,

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