About Equality in Marriage Institute Expertise As a non profit organization commited to assisting and supporting men and women through their divorce transition, we will answer any questions -from how to get yourself on your feet after being served with divorce papers, questions to ask your lawyer, how to appeal or modify your judgement and the different ways to end your marriage to how to empower and care for yourself, the benefits of joining a support group and how to manage your divorce process. Please note that we are not lawyers, financial advisors or therapists. The information given is intended to provide you with direction towards resources, websites, and answers that can help you through your transition.
Experience We have experience answering hundreds of questions from both men and women who are going through the divorce process.
Expert: Equality in Marriage Institute - 5/29/2005
Question Hi.
At the moment I am feeling very confused and don't really know where I stand. At the moment I am going through divorce and starting to sort out finance. I was married for five years to a man who was not from this country, but got his stay via our marriage.I feel he used me to get stay in the country and saw my house as a financial gain. Outside of the marriage in this short time he committed adultery and had two children outside of our marriage.We had no children together, although I have three children aged 19, 17 and 14 years. He is fighting me for 50% of the house. Both of our names are on the mortgage. However, he paid very little into the mortgage and I have being advised by a barrister that I should offer him way more than he paid in and before hand my solicitor had told me there would be no way he could get that sort of money, he would only get what he paid into the home. However, I received a very good discount on the property, because I was a council tenant for a long time. I struggle as it is to pay my mortagage, and as result have had to take on a extra job. My solicitor seems to think I can afford it, but I really can't. Will the courts take matters of this nature into account?
Furthermore, I feel as if my solicitor hasn't being truly honest with me throughout the case, she gives me conflicting advice. i.e. At the beginining she said we would fight it all the way to court and now she's telling me to pay him off in order to stop fees mounting up. What excatly do the courts take into consideration?, as it seems they take very little into accout. She told me that if I do not take the advice of the barrister my legal aid could me withheld and I would have to pay all costs myself, and wouldn't be entitled to legal representation. Is this true? However, I am paying a monthly contribution to legal aid.
My questions are bascically about finace, how much I am likely to pay of fees when the case ends and if court seems like the best solution, as my solicitor has told me they could order me to pay more. Do the courts take my ex-partner's financial circumstances into account.As he is in full time work, and living with the person he committed adulterly with, who also works. What about unreasonable behaviour in the marriage? What about my financial circumstances and the standard of living I want to retain?
Thankyou
Please help!
Answer As you may or may not know, divorce differs from state to state and country to country. I have very little experience with European divorces and will assume you are from England/ U.K.
Here are some sites/resources that may be of some help to you:
Generally speaking, at least in the U.S., both parties standard of living goes down after a divorce. Sometimes it is helpful to sit down with a financial advisor to go over current and future financial ramifications. A lawyer knows about the laws- not finances. To answer your legal aid questions -consider contacting them directly to see if they can answer your questions.
I do not know what the courts take into consideration, but perhaps the above links will be of some help to you.
