About Equality in Marriage Institute Expertise As a non profit organization commited to assisting and supporting men and women through their divorce transition, we will answer any questions -from how to get yourself on your feet after being served with divorce papers, questions to ask your lawyer, how to appeal or modify your judgement and the different ways to end your marriage to how to empower and care for yourself, the benefits of joining a support group and how to manage your divorce process. Please note that we are not lawyers, financial advisors or therapists. The information given is intended to provide you with direction towards resources, websites, and answers that can help you through your transition.
Experience We have experience answering hundreds of questions from both men and women who are going through the divorce process.
Expert: Equality in Marriage Institute - 2/14/2006
Question My husband created an enormous amount of debt by collecting Lionel trains.I think the entire collection is worth about $300,000. I want to buy a new home for my son and I as the house we are living in is run down and needs major repairs and I have old appliances that do not work. My husband used my checks to help fund the purchase of these trains without my knowledge. He did this over the course of approximately five years 2000 to 2005. I am so unhappy with the way he was treating me -- not giving me any money but yet I had to work for him full-time for about 30+ years. I need help. No one wants to help me out of this rats nest that he provided for me and my son. I don't know what to do. Even the water did not work for about two years in the house. The toilets were broken and the sinks did not work. I have a restraining order on him for my own protection and he was removed from the house. I filed for divorce but I have been told I have to wait until it is final before I can buy a new home. I know the debt will be paid off once the collection goes to auction --- but this is taking too long. I can't live in a house like this -- nor can my son. Can you help?
Answer Dear Ursula,
One of the first steps would be to speak to your lawyer about your options.
1. Can you live with friends or relatives until you are given the go to locate a new home?
2. Can you afford to rent an apartment with working utilities until they can be fixed in home?
3. While you are waiting for the divorce to become final can you place the house up for sale? Does your husband want the house and is he willing to buy out your half of the value?
4. You may want to speak with your accountant or financial advisor about the financial requirements and financial viability of purchasing new home rather than an apartment.
5. If you spouse is contesting the divorce, the divorce process will take longer than a non contested divorce so you may want to investigate repairing the utlities (which may need to be done before the house can sold, if your spouse does not want it).
6. Check out he following sites for additional information on divorce:
Your state bar association website, divorcesource.com, equalityinmarriage.org, womansdivorce.com and divorcemag.com
