Expert: Equality in Marriage Institute - 1/22/2006

Question
Hello, dear Sir or Madam!
  My name is Lora Georgieva and I heard for your web site from Internet. My story is very comlicated and I hope that you can help me. My husband wants to get divorced. And I've been trying to stop him but I think I shouldn't. We've been living together for 7 years and we've been married for 3. We have a baby and she is 4 months old. The problem is that my husband is an alcoholic and he's been very rude to me the past 2 years. He drinks and get drunk every week and sometimes more. He brings his friends at home and my baby can't sleep from all this noise. When I was  9 months pregnant he got drunk and I left my friends because I was exhausted . We were at a neighborhood that I didn't know and I got lost. I called him to come and pick me up and he started laughing. I was crying on the phone and he hang up on me. I had to call somebody else to give me directions and finally I got home. There was another time that he cooked barbecue and he called me to come and eat and when I went there he was drunk as usual and he was laughing because I was pregnant and there was no food for me. When I was pregnant again he USED to pee in the bed and I woke up so many times wet from his peeing. And I though that everything will stop when the baby is born. Well my baby is 4 months now and he even doesn't care about her. Today is his day off and he spend just 5 minutes with her. Of course he is drinking with his friends right now. And after all of this he is threatening me that he will sue me because I need some time to get advise from a lawyer. Right now my mom is helping me with the baby and he threatened her that he will call the police and kick her out of the house. I have no words for him. I went to a lawyer and she told me that I can't prove that he is an alcoholic if he doesn't have a police record. I don't know if this is true. He is calling me crazy every day. He is calling me slut, that I want to turn my daughter like me. He told me that when she grows up she can get drunk once a week and I strongly disagree with that. I want my daughter to be intelligent person and have future. I don't want her to be failure like him. He has all our money  in his account and he doesn't want to give me even a cent. Please help me, I need a good advise because he is threatening me that I am the weak side and I won't get anything.  My e-mail is kirtcheva@yahoo.com and my phone number is: 224 619 2173. PLEASE HELP ME. Thank YOU in advance.


              Yours Sincerely: Lora Georgieva


Answer
Dear Lora,

There is help. One of the best places to start is the internet. Learning about divorce in your state can help you choose the best lawyer for yourself and receive the assets that you deserve. Check out the following sites:

equalityinmarriage.org
divorcesource.com
womansdivorce.com
nolo.com
divorcemag.com

Also visit your state's Bar Association online. Often they have online publications on divorce. They will also have a lawyer referral number that you can call to get names of lawyers for you to interview.

I also highly recommend that you speak with someone at 1-800-4AL-NON. They help families of alcoholics.

Gaining knowledge is one of your best defenses.

I hope this was helpful.