About Equality in Marriage Institute Expertise As a non profit organization commited to assisting and supporting men and women through their divorce transition, we will answer any questions -from how to get yourself on your feet after being served with divorce papers, questions to ask your lawyer, how to appeal or modify your judgement and the different ways to end your marriage to how to empower and care for yourself, the benefits of joining a support group and how to manage your divorce process. Please note that we are not lawyers, financial advisors or therapists. The information given is intended to provide you with direction towards resources, websites, and answers that can help you through your transition.
Experience We have experience answering hundreds of questions from both men and women who are going through the divorce process.
Expert: Equality in Marriage Institute - 11/30/2005
Question I live in a small county where everything evolves around who you know, grew up with, who you rub elbows with etc...I just recently discovered this the hard way. My wife and two kids moved to the community approx 10 years ago. Last year she left me for a guy that is 58 years old(both of us in our early 40's) that was born and raised in this community. The lawyer that I hired seemed to be all gunho before I hired him. Now he ain't hitting on anything. I have documentation in her avidivant she is living with this guy. She has even been court orded to move out. My lawyer is telling me that it does not mattere in South Carolina that she committed adultry or anything that the material asesst will be divided eqaully and that she is entittled to have of my retirement etc...
Please help, I do not have the money to hire another attorney. He told me he new that I did not have the money to go and get another attorney so I had better take what I could get.
Answer Dear Dean,
Small communities have their pros and cons and you've happen to run into a con with your divorce. The best step you can take is to educate yourself on the dviorce laws of South Carolina. Use google.com and search under "divorce + South Carolina" and "South Carolina State Bar Association" to start. Other sites: divorcesource.com, aaml.org, equalityinmarriage.org and nolo.com, Also mensdefense.org may be helpful. The more you know about the process the less guff and more cooperation you will get out of your attorney. You can fire your attorney and hire a new one. Yes this will cost you more money. However, after doing some research on your own about divorce in your state, you may find that this lawyer will be costing you more in the end byy not giving you a fair settlement.
Your attorney is correct in that, in many states, whether a spouse commits adultery or not, has little to no effect on the distribution of assets. It is also possible that she is entitled to half of your retirement no matter what.
What you should do is educate yourself and consider interviewing other attorney's. For him to pull the "I know you don't have the money to hire someone else" routine is so unprofessional and you may want to think about changing attorneys. It's like hiring a plumber who has already ripped apart your bathroom and says that the original estimate was too low- what are you going to do? Educate yourself.
If after you have done some research and find that he is telling the truth, then you may save yourself a some money by not switching.
