Follow-Ups to Answer from Expert Thalia Ferenc, MSW, MA
Kelly wrote at 2013-02-11 13:15:48
It sounds like you need to stop trying to control your ex-husband and focus on YOUR life. It sounds as if you are trying to find issues so that you feel validated. Your marriage to him is over and that's that...end of story. Having a child with a man at one point in your life does not give you the license to meddle in his new marriage. As long as they are not abusing your child, their marriage dynamic is none of your business. When divorce happens, ex spouses find new spouses and new families are created without the ex-spouse. I know it's hard to hear but your new life and focus should be on your new family, not his, and yes, your daughter is included in that family but you are not. Please stop using a child as an excuse to meddle in your ex-husband's marriage as that is the way your story is coming across. Would I be wrong if I were to think that you may possibly be leading these conversations with your daughter in order to get more information about your ex? Please tell me I'm wrong and good luck.
Questions about children`s issues around divorce are my forte, such as minimizing the damage to them, parenting plans, parental alienation, etc.
I am a degreed Master of Social Work, Master of Arts, Diplomate of Clinical Forensic Counseling, with about 30 years experience working with children and families, the last fifteen as a psychotherapist. I created and ran an 8 week psychoeducational group for children of divorce and their parents which continued several times a year for 12 years.I have been divorced, a single parent,and am currently happily remarried. I am in private practice in Grand Rapids, Michigan. More info at www.thaliasthoughts.com.