About Equality in Marriage Institute Expertise As a non profit organization commited to assisting and supporting men and women through their divorce transition, we will answer any questions -from how to get yourself on your feet after being served with divorce papers, questions to ask your lawyer, how to appeal or modify your judgement and the different ways to end your marriage to how to empower and care for yourself, the benefits of joining a support group and how to manage your divorce process. Please note that we are not lawyers, financial advisors or therapists. The information given is intended to provide you with direction towards resources, websites, and answers that can help you through your transition.
Experience We have experience answering hundreds of questions from both men and women who are going through the divorce process.
Expert: Equality in Marriage Institute - 4/29/2005
Question My husband has filed for divorce after 38 years of marriage.We live in Texas and his lawyer filed for an uncontested divorce. I obtained my own attorney and she filed a counter petition asking that I receive certain things such as my husband providing me with Cobra insurance at his expense. I am now covered under his insurance through his employer, I have numerous health issues and there is no way I can afford medical coverage on my own.He has refused to do this. I have also asked for 100% of his stock options and 401(K)savings planwith his employer. His response is that he has a loan these funds but is willing to pay off the loanand is willing to give me stock options abd 401(K)savings as long as his retirement remains untouched.I have agreed to give him the mobile home and land, however I have since found out that he has not been making the payments and is ready to. lose both of them. We are joint owners of both.I cann not afford to pay for them and now my credit will be ruined along with his. He works 40+ hours a week earning $26.00/hour.I work 25 hours a week earning $9.00/hr. Last year he grossed $75,000.00 to my $13,000.00. The final straw is he is an alcoholic who starts drinking the moment he leaves his employer's property and drinks while he is driving untill he reaches home about one hour later. I did not initiate this divorce nor do I want it but I must do all that I can to protect myself. I have paid my attorney all that I can afford and I feel that my husband will do all that he can to see that I get nothing. Is there anything that I can do?
Any advice you can give me is appreciated.
Pam
Answer Dear Pam,
First, Thank you for your patience.....
One of the best steps you can take is to educate yourself on the divorce laws in your state (divorcesource.com) and to learn more about the divorce process (equalityinmarriage.org and aaml.org).
As you had mentioned in your email - your husband is an alcoholic- you may want to visit AA's website to see what information they can offer.
Another helpful and necessary step is figure out what you need financially to survive. What are your expenses- medical and such for a month? What are other misc. expenses for the year. What do you have in debt? Putting it all down on paper will help you figure out what you are really dealing with- consider speaking to your account or a friend who is good at budgets to figure out where you can save and spend.
As far as the property and lack of payments- if he is willing to take on the responsibility of paying for them- get our name off them fast. Consider getting a credit card in your name now while your credit is still good.
You may also want to check out womansdivorce.com and divorcemag.com. You mentioned you do not wish to divorce- I encourage you to visit smartmarriages.com and The AA site for ideas on how to save your marriage.
