| Subject | Date Asked |
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| frusrated husband | 10/13/2008 |
Q: I am a 39 year old father of four(4,12,14&17)With a respectable income and a second job with good ...
A: So sorry to hear how things have developed for you. This is a very difficult transition. I have a ...
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| Looking for answers from a long ago divorce | 10/11/2008 |
Q: Subject A wife who choose to destroy a seeming happy marriage Question This applies to a ...
A: All I can do is speculate along with you so please understand that, absent some more detailed ...
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| Pregnant with second child husband leaving | 10/10/2008 |
Q: My husband works in finance and is a risk manager -- all at the heart of the financial crisis. I ...
A: Hard situation. I'm sorry. You asked what could get his attention and so much depends on whether ...
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| Divorce/New relationships | 10/10/2008 |
Q: My boyfriend of one year is nearing the end of finalizing his divorce. His ex left the marriage 4 ...
A: I've copied your response and will try to respond: BUT if she has a boyfirend and a family ...
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| Divorce/New relationships | 10/10/2008 |
Q: My boyfriend of one year is nearing the end of finalizing his divorce. His ex left the marriage 4 ...
A: Excellent question. The answer is a blend of your two positions. Your negotiations with your ...
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| My husband wont talk to me | 9/29/2008 |
Q: Four days, my husband stopped coming home, and will not talk to me on the phone. Every once in a ...
A: Does it have anything to do with your age? Not necessarily. At least we settled the "out of ...
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| My husband wont talk to me | 9/29/2008 |
Q: Four days, my husband stopped coming home, and will not talk to me on the phone. Every once in a ...
A: That usually happens when someone is angry beyond being angry and feels so out of control they don't ...
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| confused?? | 9/28/2008 |
Q: I been living with my boyfriend for a year now when we started dating he had a son of 10mths at ...
A: This is indeed a recipe for a disaster. My guess is that she's quite unable to be a mother and this ...
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| divorced boyfriend | 9/28/2008 |
Q: I hope you can help. I have been with my boyfriend for a year. We are temporarily "broken up" for ...
A: I'm glad my clinical hypothesis made sense to you. It may or may not to him. There might be many ...
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| divorced boyfriend | 9/27/2008 |
Q: I hope you can help. I have been with my boyfriend for a year. We are temporarily "broken up" for ...
A: There is a breakdown in your communication. It is impossible for me to tell whether it is A: ...
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| Divorce - toddler - co-parenting | 9/25/2008 |
Q: My spouse and I are separating/divorcing. We have a 2 year old son together. We want what is best ...
A: Anne, I don't have any research close at hand that tells me anything. The general prejudice is that ...
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| ex husband and current boyfriend | 9/22/2008 |
Q: I have been divorced for about 3 years. I have being seeing my boyfriend for 5 yrs. I know this is ...
A: Tough problem. You tell the whole story in the first two sentences. You had an affair with this man ...
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| i need advice | 9/20/2008 |
Q: im a 16 yar old senior in high school.my mother and father are divorced and my mother is remarried. ...
A: I really don't know the answers. I think you want to talk to an attorney. The way to find one will ...
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| i need advice | 9/20/2008 |
Q: im a 16 yar old senior in high school.my mother and father are divorced and my mother is remarried. ...
A: That is a very hard situation. Not a lot of good options there. I don't really have any ideas. ...
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| Problems with His Ex-Wife | 9/20/2008 |
Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half; we have lived together for over a ...
A: You have a very serious problem. Lots of bad news here. You will be dealing with this ...
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| divorce | 9/17/2008 |
Q: I have no money, not working had to have several surgeries in the past year. My 23 year old ...
A: Difficult situation. Thanks for writing. Sounds like you are anticipating the worst and that's ...
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| Mourning the loss of one life while celebrating another | 9/14/2008 |
Q: I have been with my boyfriend for three years now. When I first met him, he was married with 3 ...
A: Robin, Lovely question. Please do me a favor. Ask those men how they did it. Interview them and ...
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| ex wife issues | 9/12/2008 |
Q: I have been divorced for about 2 years. I have joint custody of a 10 yr old son and an wonderful ...
A: I think your heart is in the right place about this but your methods and approach are producing the ...
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| Divorce | 9/9/2008 |
Q: I do not want to divorce for the sake of my kids. We have been married for 15 years and know each ...
A: I look forward to it. drbelove@datingatmidlife.com or belove@sover.net my number is 802-254-6221 ...
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| Divorce | 9/8/2008 |
Q: I do not want to divorce for the sake of my kids. We have been married for 15 years and know each ...
A: I don't have any immediate ideas. In fact, if have more questions than answers at this point. It ...
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| Getting over my ex-husband | 9/7/2008 |
Q: Im a 26 year old single mother of a wonderful two year old son. I have been separated from my ex for ...
A: This is truly a difficult transition for you and there are so many difficult lessons in it. Often ...
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| dealing with ex spouses | 9/6/2008 |
Q: I am a single father divorced since 2.5 years and out of a relationship that I was abused mentally ...
A: You don't change your basic negative feelings toward her ex. What happens is they become more ...
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| dealing with ex spouses | 9/5/2008 |
Q: I am a single father divorced since 2.5 years and out of a relationship that I was abused mentally ...
A: It's a common problem. You both are really trying to create a much better life for each other and ...
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| Question regarding Child custody | 9/4/2008 |
Q: Good morning, my name is Danielle and I just served my soon to be ex-husband with divorce papers ...
A: Good morning Danielle. I basically can't give legal advice. I'm a psychologist. My experience has ...
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| ex-wife issues | 9/3/2008 |
Q: i need your advice,i been in a relationship for 5 years , a good men,we been together in good and ...
A: She is trying to undermine your marriage. Trust your intuitions here. What is necessary is that ...
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| love gone bad | 8/28/2008 |
Q: I have been married for 5 years. Dated my husband 2 years. He was married at the time, I was going ...
A: Ths is very sad story and I'm sure you've only touched the surface of it. Your letter is brief, a ...
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| x wife harrising me | 8/16/2008 |
Q: my x wife divorced me 15 months ago now she wont leave me along. she trying to make me look crazy. ...
A: Wow. Amazing and terrifying story. Maybe one of the worst I've ever heard. You know, there is ...
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| Counseling | 8/15/2008 |
Q: You recently responded to my very long and all over the place question that I titled Parental ...
A: Bluntness is good. Candor is good. I'm sure it was difficult for you speak up. Here is how it ...
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| Counseling | 8/15/2008 |
Q: You recently responded to my very long and all over the place question that I titled Parental ...
A: I thought I had responded to your response earlier in the week. I'm in Montreal, but live in New ...
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| Loveless marriage | 8/11/2008 |
Q: I am a 43 y/o orthopedic surgeon married 13 years in a loveless marriage. We have 3 kids, 10, 7 and ...
A: I’m sure you’ve given it a lot of thought. You seem to be a highly principled, and disciplined man. ...
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| marriage problems, i think hes gone for good.... | 8/2/2008 |
Q: my husband and i are 21 and i have a 2yr old from a previous relationship. he was going to adopt her ...
A: The situation with your husband is hopeless. He's 21 and he can't deny his family. I strongly ...
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| guilt and forgiving myself | 7/29/2008 |
Q: I'm recently divorced (11 mo). I cheated. I can list multiple reasons, but I feel they are just ...
A: You did boil your question down to it's essence. Since I know so little of the specifics I can ...
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| going through a hard time | 7/24/2008 |
Q: I would like to know how to get over the pain of being married for fourteen years and having four ...
A: It's a grieving process. If a spouse dies it takes two to three years to fully grieve the loss. The ...
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| still seeing husband` | 7/23/2008 |
Q: After being together for almost 12 years, my husband and I seperated a couple months ago due to, ...
A: I think you guys need to talk to an expert. Have you seen a counselor or therapist? You'd want to ...
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| I am not in love with my hubby | 7/19/2008 |
Q: My husband and I have been married for six years, and I am about to leave,I understand now why I ...
A: Good for you. Please do not misunderstand me. I have not been urging you to leave or stay, only to ...
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| Dating a divorced guy | 7/16/2008 |
Q: Philip, I am dating with a divorced guy. He divorced with his ex wife about four years ago, no kids. ...
A: Anyone over 40 and single is single for a reason and that means that you'll have to deal with it if ...
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| my relationship | 7/5/2008 |
Q: ok my boyfriend and i met in irak we where both in the millitary, and we where both married to other ...
A: It's July 5th. Back to whatever. Yes. You do need help. I'll work with you for little but not ...
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| husband left me at age 60 | 7/4/2008 |
Q: I feel so alone at times. I don't attend church presently but I do believe in God and I love Him ...
A: Well first of all, start going to church. You need the community. You need to be around people who ...
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| my relationship | 7/3/2008 |
Q: ok my boyfriend and i met in irak we where both in the millitary, and we where both married to other ...
A: Okay. It comes back to the keyHow long are you willing to tolerate this situation? What will you do ...
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| my relationship | 7/3/2008 |
Q: ok my boyfriend and i met in irak we where both in the millitary, and we where both married to other ...
A: The way most people handle the harassment about money from an ex is to have a legal agreement and to ...
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| Husband Shirks Responsibilities | 7/1/2008 |
Q: I am 64 and have been married almost 44 years. I have 5 children who are all grown and not living ...
A: Here is a way to think about this. You are in charge and you really are. That's a tough one for you ...
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| Husband Shirks Responsibilities | 6/30/2008 |
Q: I am 64 and have been married almost 44 years. I have 5 children who are all grown and not living ...
A: That's a hard story. I think the key is in the last paragraph: He is very manipulative and I'd ...
|
| seriously, help needed | 6/29/2008 |
Q: My GF of 2+ years and I broke up a wk ago, and Im having a VERY rough time. The first 7 months of ...
A: First of all, my sympathies and condolences. That particular pain is very difficult to bear. I'm ...
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| custody issues | 6/23/2008 |
Q: My ex-husband served me with exparte and divorce papers on January 23. '08. He uses threats, ...
A: Okay, I again come up against your attorney's view. And I am psychologist, not an attorney and my ...
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| custody issues | 6/22/2008 |
Q: My ex-husband served me with exparte and divorce papers on January 23. '08. He uses threats, ...
A: I'm puzzled by your question and not sure how to respond. First of all, it sounds like your ...
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| over ex husband until he got a girlfriend | 6/19/2008 |
Q: I was over my ex husband until he got a girlfriend. Now I am jealous that he is so nice to another ...
A: This really is a question for your therapist. If I were working with you, I think I'd want to ...
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| over ex husband until he got a girlfriend | 6/18/2008 |
Q: I was over my ex husband until he got a girlfriend. Now I am jealous that he is so nice to another ...
A: Well, you weren't as over it as you thought you were. Don't be too alarmed. Your reaction is common. ...
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| Can I win back my husband? | 6/12/2008 |
Q: I am separated from my husband after a series of nasty arguments where things were said and done to ...
A: Not sure how to answer you. If you want him to "see you how he used to" does that include being ...
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| ex | 6/10/2008 |
Q: I left my common law husband of 15 years 3.5 years ago due to his very heavy alcoholism. We have a ...
A: If money is a problem I can see you for a reduced fee. No one has health coverage like they used to. ...
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| ex | 6/9/2008 |
Q: I left my common law husband of 15 years 3.5 years ago due to his very heavy alcoholism. We have a ...
A: Good presentation. My main advice is that you listen to your intutions. You say "I feel as though I ...
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| -welfare of granddaughter | 6/5/2008 |
Q: My only daughter was in a bad marriage for 5 years that produced the light of my life, my only ...
A: Wow. That's hard. I think you'll have to get a lawyer to do this. I'm pretty sure of it. You may ...
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| relationshps | 5/28/2008 |
Q: I am living with a man who has been legally separated from his wife for over four years now. I am ...
A: Great question. Thanks. They're still working out their divorce. You said it yourself: "The ex ...
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| doubting relationship | 5/28/2008 |
Q: How do you know if a girl really loves you? I am engaged about to be married in 9 weeks and my ...
A: First, how lovely for you to be in Jerusalem and to be studying there. You guys are going to have ...
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| Wanting to get divorced in the state of Arkansas | 5/27/2008 |
Q: I have just moved back to Arkansas and I am going to divorce my husband whom lives in Florida that ...
A: If things are as you say, you need a lawyer. I'm a psychologist. If he's mean and abusive then your ...
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| He won't let our children meet each other | 5/22/2008 |
Q: I have been divorced over 6 years and have been dating a wonderful widower for 2 years now. We can ...
A: Well I think you've gotten to the key issue. ' the pessimistic scenario is that it's all him and ...
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| dating during separation | 5/21/2008 |
Q: I am in SC, legally separated since March. No kids, or alimony. Everything has been equitably ...
A: This is too important. Also it's a legal question. I don't know anything about it because I'm a ...
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| He won't let our children meet each other | 5/21/2008 |
Q: I have been divorced over 6 years and have been dating a wonderful widower for 2 years now. We can ...
A: Nice question. He says he wants it to move forward. You guys have been together for two years. ...
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| my son | 5/6/2008 |
Q: My son will be 18 in July 08. He's very smart and graduating top in his class to say the least. ...
A: This is an extremely unfortunate situation and you have my sympathies and your son has my ...
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| Separation/kids & stbx's new gf & kids | 5/5/2008 |
Q: Some background: We have been separated for almost a year after 26 yrs of marriage. I have lost ...
A: You know I can't really answer your question about being unreasonable based on such little ...
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| TALKING WITH YOUR EX | 5/3/2008 |
Q: I have read all the books that give advice about trying to put a relationship back to together with ...
A: It is a discipline but you have to master it. It is necessary in order to set a certain standard for ...
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| Potential "Walk Away Wife" needs HELP :( | 5/1/2008 |
Q: I'm a 29 yo married woman with 3 children. Grew up in a strict Christian household - never partied ...
A: I do hear your frustration and I also appreciate that you have a little sense of humor about it. ...
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| Reconciliation after affair? | 5/1/2008 |
Q: I recently discovered my wife had an affair- it started with an online thing that progressed to the ...
A: The extreme would be Divorce and Move On. The most moderate and foolish would be to just pretend it ...
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| I want my marriage to survive. | 4/30/2008 |
Q: My husband and I have been a couple for 20 years and married 11.5 years.We separated September ...
A: First of all, I extend my sympathies and condolences. Sorry about your loss. It's very sad. There ...
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| do I give up now | 4/29/2008 |
Q: I can't seem to keep it short but I will try...I was married 25 years to my wife, have 3 amazing ...
A: Yes, lots of thoughts. First thought is a book by Shirley Glass called "Not 'Just Friend'": ...
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| military hubby wants out of marriage | 4/26/2008 |
Q: i really feel alone here in europe. I have nobody at this crucial time. I understand all that you ...
A: Quite a roller coaster you are on, and very unpleasant for you. You are in shock. Somewhere inside ...
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| Meeting husband tomorrow & he wants divorce | 4/25/2008 |
Q: I am at wits end. I really screwed up with my husband and he is very hurt and told our counselor he ...
A: Here's the thing. You simply must be prepared for the worst. If you are not, you will not be able to ...
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| Meeting husband tomorrow & he wants divorce | 4/24/2008 |
Q: I am at wits end. I really screwed up with my husband and he is very hurt and told our counselor he ...
A: Well you are probably getting this very late at night or first thing in the morning. I'm in New ...
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| Meeting husband tomorrow & he wants divorce | 4/24/2008 |
Q: I am at wits end. I really screwed up with my husband and he is very hurt and told our counselor he ...
A: Jody, in order to help you I would need to know much more. The person who really ought to have some ...
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| Do not not want to be married anymore. | 4/16/2008 |
Q: I am a 38 yr old man who has been married for 9 yrs now to a wonderful lady, the mother of my 2 ...
A: You're a brave and conscientious man. Thanks for the question. There IS a lot at stake here and ...
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| ex and son | 4/14/2008 |
Q: I hope that you can help me with a problem that i have. Three years ago i left my ex of 15 years ...
A: I think what would be most helpful for you (if you haven't done this) is to go to at least six ...
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| Telling our 4 year old | 4/13/2008 |
Q: I filed for divorce on the grounds of adultery and my husband moved out yesterday. It is not ...
A: From the little you've told me I can't tell. But in these kinds of situations it's often hard to ...
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| How can I change? | 3/22/2008 |
Q: Belove: My husband I have been married 24 years and have two children, 23 and 19. We have also had ...
A: Gosh Laurel, what a hard story you have to tell. My practice usually has someone in it with a story ...
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| boyfriends exwife | 3/12/2008 |
Q: I have been dating this man for over 2 years. His exwife was the one who wanted out of the marriage ...
A: You have a classic step family situation. In other cases like yours the ex had manipulated not only ...
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| negative remarks about me to our 4 year old | 3/11/2008 |
Q: I filed for divorce one year ago and during this process my husband requested an evaluation to ...
A: Sounds like a horror story. If you are afraid to get a restraining order because you are ...
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| To leave/not to leave | 3/3/2008 |
Q: Belove, Hopefully you can help me. Me and my husband has been married for 8 years. The first 3 years ...
A: Complex problem you have. Not unusual to have in-law problems in the early years. Most marriages ...
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| Visitation Rights. | 2/27/2008 |
Q: My question is a little complicated. My husband finalized his divorce in December of 2006. His ...
A: If you want a legal document, you've got to get a lawyer. If you feel things are getting a little ...
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| 4-year old and anxiety | 2/27/2008 |
Q: I'm currently a live in nanny for family I've known for years. They are recently divorced, but the ...
A: I guess I'll start with your disappointment with the counselor. That seems to have prompted your ...
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| pregnant and divorcing | 2/25/2008 |
Q: i am currently 6 months pregnant with my husbands child. We have no other children. we have been ...
A: You'll need to speak to an attorney but my guess is that with a new born you'll have a lot of say ...
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| How to tell my child that the ex has remarried | 2/22/2008 |
Q: The question is, how do I tell my son (14y.o.) that his father is remarrying? The background: We ...
A: There really isn't a simple answer to this question and there is a lot more I'd need to know. I ...
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| claiming children | 2/18/2008 |
Q: I've seen the question asked... 'If we have joint custody and I am the 'custodial parent' should I ...
A: It's a little outside my expertise and I think it's a legal/accounting/tax question. I do know of ...
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| boyfriend's belongings in ex's house | 2/13/2008 |
Q: My boyfriend and his ex have been divorced for about a year and a half. They had a friendly, ...
A: Paula, It's a good question and I get many versions of this question. I have a few thoughts. ...
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| relationship with ex- spouse and vacationing | 2/8/2008 |
Q: What is an appropriate relationship with and ex-spouse? My boyfriend and his ex are friendly like ...
A: Great story, great question. I think your boyfriend's offer was wise and what I would have ...
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| controlling relationships | 2/5/2008 |
Q: I was married for 15 years to a man who was manipulative and controlling. Because the abuse was ...
A: Well, you weren't kidding about treating all men with contempt. I stand by your suggestion that you ...
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| BF scared to marry after divorce | 2/3/2008 |
Q: My boyfriend was married for 10 yrs to a woman who cheated on him repeatedly. They were married ...
A: I think counseling can help, will help. He is raising some serious objections but he does not seem ...
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| Is this normal? | 1/26/2008 |
Q: My husband has left me after 15 years of a great marriage. We were best friends. In fact, he ...
A: I do think you are right about the affair having been in process for a long time already. That is ...
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| Visitation Rights | 1/24/2008 |
Q: I have been in desperate need of understanding what my father (who has full custody) will not ...
A: Get your mother to speak to a lawyer. This is a legal issue. You are still a minor. I simply can not ...
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| moving forward... | 1/20/2008 |
Q: I have been divorced for two years. We were married for 17 years, and have three wonderful teenage ...
A: Across the street really does sound too close. It doesn't sound like there are any hard feelings ...
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| Should I file for separation or not? | 1/20/2008 |
Q: My husband and I are really different people. He's a very nice guy and a good person. He was ...
A: Wow. It's hard to know where to begin. My first reaction was that you need more than a simple ...
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| divorce | 1/11/2008 |
Q: I am 30 Yrs. old Indian Hindu Woman from a conservative Indian Family. Being elderest among 4 ...
A: What an amazingly complex situation you are dealing with here. It's hard to grasp the whole of it. ...
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| what kind of baggage | 1/10/2008 |
Q: One of your answers contained the following quote: "There is a certain kind of baggage that makes ...
A: Yes, I figured you were intrigued because you thought it applied to you. I am curious about how this ...
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| Involving boyfriend more with my children | 1/9/2008 |
Q: I was searching for articles about involving my boyfriend more with my kids and found one such ...
A: Your question is a good one and a common one. Yes, I do think "just ask" is a good policy in ...
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| what kind of baggage | 1/9/2008 |
Q: One of your answers contained the following quote: "There is a certain kind of baggage that makes ...
A: You're right, I don't really "explain." Explaining would take a book and I do have notes for a ...
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| the new girlfriend and why there are no boundries | 1/8/2008 |
Q: I came into a relationship with a newly seperated man married 8 years with 4 children. we have been ...
A: Nicole, this is, of course, one of the most common problems in midlife dating: the status of the ex- ...
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| separation/divorce | 1/7/2008 |
Q: I'll try and keep this as brief as possible. I have a complicated situation on my hands and I'm not ...
A: Well, at least it sounds like you've had a break through and you've broken away from that terrible ...
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| exhusband's girlfriend | 1/3/2008 |
Q: She is very nice and I have no ill feelings towards her. However, she is constantly either giving ...
A: I'll give you some suggestions and ask that you stay in touch with me as you do these things and let ...
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| Divorce | 12/26/2007 |
Q: "I was married 25 yrs and have been divorced for 3 yrs. My ex would not seek counseling for ...
A: It's the day after Christmas so this answer will be late and I apologize. I didn't check any mail ...
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| Scared to move on, but looking forward to it | 12/21/2007 |
Q: Basically I have been a homemaker for the past 4 and half years. My daughter is 4 and my son is 1 ...
A: Well, this is the sort of thing you want to talk to a therapist about. You kind of sort through the ...
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| On the brink of divorce re: kids vs. no kids | 12/18/2007 |
Q: My wife and I have been married for almost 6 years, we got married young at only 23. I've always ...
A: My heart goes out to both of you. Of course there is so much history involved here that all I can do ...
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| Boundaries for divorced couple who are now friends | 12/3/2007 |
Q: My exhusband and I recently divorced and we have done a pretty good job of remaining friends after a ...
A: Mary, thanks so much for this story. It's one of the best examples I've heard of how a divorce can ...
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| My Mother Vs. My Morals | 11/26/2007 |
Q: I am 25 years old and recently moved back home for a short time. I noticed a change in my mother. ...
A: Sara, I'm about to travel and will be pre-occupied for the next 36 hours. I can answer you on ...
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| Divorce | 11/7/2007 |
Q: Belove, I have been married for 26 years. Married when I was 18, he was 20. We have 26 and 25 year ...
A: First, congratulations on moving out. The marriage was incredibly abusive and you are indeed on the ...
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| My boyfriends ex-wife | 11/6/2007 |
Q: Belove, I am need of some guidance with my boyfriends' ex-wife. I am at a loss. Here is the deal, ...
A: This is an open forum. She can read what's written here. If you don't care, write me again and I'll ...
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| My boyfriends ex-wife | 11/5/2007 |
Q: Belove, I am need of some guidance with my boyfriends' ex-wife. I am at a loss. Here is the deal, ...
A: The divorce maybe be over legally but the fight, which the divorce was supposed to end, continues. ...
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| stay or go? | 11/4/2007 |
Q: I am so unhappy right now. I honestly cant say our marriage is 50 percent happy 50 percent ...
A: Actually, if a marriage isn't 85% positive, it won't last. At the same time, once couples slip ...
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| talking to a five year old about divorce | 11/3/2007 |
Q: How (specifically) do you explain to a five year old that Mom is not coming back home to live with ...
A: You have to be very simple and clear. The way you have phrased it in your question is good. Do not ...
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| husband filed for divorce | 10/30/2007 |
Q: How do I move on and let go when I still love my husband (who is emotionally/verbally/mentally ...
A: Sorry you have suffer so. When someone you love dies it takes about two years to get through the ...
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| Separation / Mind Games | 10/28/2007 |
Q: My husband and I are legally separated since May 2007 but during our separation and before we signed ...
A: Very sad story you've told. Sounds terribly painful and confusing and complicated. I think there ...
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| My Marriage | 10/26/2007 |
Q: My husband has addiction problems, drink, pills and I think with women. He started a group, it seems ...
A: Your situation is very complex and you have some painful choices ahead. The self-doubting is a ...
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| Divorce issue | 10/23/2007 |
Q: Sharma, Thanks for your prompt response to my earlier question but I am sorry because i could not ...
A: I'm sorry for the delay this time. I don't know why it took so long for me to get the question. I ...
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| Seperated | 10/14/2007 |
Q: My wife and I have been married for 15 years with 2 children (12 and 14). We have had time issues ...
A: This is a difficult situation. Almost always people who cheat feel guilty and almost always they try ...
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| relationship after marriage | 10/9/2007 |
Q: I have looking for someone to help me get into the brain of my boyfriend. He was married (still is ...
A: Good question. This is such an old story, you know. It's very, very difficult for the affair that ...
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| anxiety at first step | 9/22/2007 |
Q: 7 years ago I was so anxious about moving out I spent months in therapy and resolved my panic ...
A: Tough situation and hard to advise you. There is so much you have not said. Still, inadequate as ...
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| Confused | 9/10/2007 |
Q: My husband and I have been married for two years now and I am only 21. We have been having several ...
A: Well, first of all, stay away from your friend. If you guys get sexual you'll end up divorced and ...
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| Divorce & effects later in life on my child and myself | 9/9/2007 |
Q: I have been married to a mentally ill wife for the past 18 years. As with all couples there have ...
A: Hard to say in general. In general divorce is hard on kids and the younger they are down to about 4, ...
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| Divorce & effects later in life on my child and myself | 9/9/2007 |
Q: I have been married to a mentally ill wife for the past 18 years. As with all couples there have ...
A: You are indeed making one of life’s most difficult decisions. The consequences are enormous, either ...
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| Visitation plan | 9/8/2007 |
Q: After 15 years of marriage and 2 young children, my husband realized that he loves someone else. He ...
A: Your question was vary specific but forgive me for stepping beyond it and responding to the phrase ...
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| Violation to divorce decree | 9/4/2007 |
Q: Due to alcohol abuse by my ex-husband, I asked that there would not be any alcohol consumption when ...
A: Not sure why having him arrested is unacceptable. I suggest you go to some Alanon meetings and ...
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| What can I do? | 8/27/2007 |
Q: Dr. Belove - you have been such a help to me with my guilt, etc. trying to separate from my husband. ...
A: I was answering your question and lost the file. This might be the second answer. My first reaction ...
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| Divorce | 8/27/2007 |
Q: My husband and I separated a year ago. We tried to get back together in February but I believe it ...
A: Depends a lot on what you mean by "take it slow" and what he means by "all or nothing." My guess ...
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| Wife won't leave mortgage too high to secure another place | 8/23/2007 |
Q: Wife and I are different people. Basically she shows no affection (nothing) towards me. I am the ...
A: You'll need to talk to a lawyer. Sounds like you have a hard time standing up for yourself and also ...
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| separation after 20 years | 8/21/2007 |
Q: My 18 year old daughter discovered my husband of 20 years had a lover. My husband, a few months ...
A: You probably will need me or someone like me to work this one through. I'd guess that the troubles ...
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| Friend's Divorce | 8/20/2007 |
Q: Belove. My friend Jamie recently wrote to you about feeling guilty about spending her kids braces ...
A: Sonya, it's a strange phenomenon and many have noted it. Some call it like the Stockholm syndrome. ...
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| spouse moves out | 8/18/2007 |
Q: Son's spouse left, she moved out and got an apartment with a 1 yr lease. Minor children were left ...
A: He needs an attorney. There is such a thing as a separation agreement which establishes the terms of ...
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| Visitation Rights | 8/17/2007 |
Q: I have been in desperate need of understanding what my father (who has full custody) will not ...
A: Bethany, I don't know the legal aspects and can't advise you. I would be suspicious of your ...
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| Divorce | 8/16/2007 |
Q: Your statement on divorce being the first intentional decision of our lives or something to that ...
A: "Conflict adverse" might be the core issue with you, your baggage. We might find that it has ...
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| Divorce | 8/15/2007 |
Q: Your statement on divorce being the first intentional decision of our lives or something to that ...
A: If you have an affair partner then there is no clean or loving way out. It's not the crime, it's the ...
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| Hung Up on Boyfriend's Ex | 8/8/2007 |
Q: Ok here is the situation....I met my boyfriend in June of 2006 and we started hanging out in ...
A: You asked a very big question, too big for a brief answer like this one. Take your misgivings ...
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| Guilt | 8/6/2007 |
Q: I have been married for 16 years to a very controlling, emotionally abusive and demanding man. I ...
A: Welcome to your midlife crisis. It sounds like you are doing a good job at learning the new ways you ...
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| Accidental Death of boyfriend & almost ex-wife | 8/3/2007 |
Q: Sisters boyfriend died last weekend in accidental drowning . His divorce was not quite final. She ...
A: That is an infuriating story. I'm so sorry. It's a legal matter and I don't know what you might be ...
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| how to deal with anger | 8/3/2007 |
Q: I'm 16 years old and my mother and father are getting a divorce. My father is a Licenced ...
A: First get yourself a counselor. You will need the professional support. This is a David and Goliath ...
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| dialogue | 7/28/2007 |
Q: This isn't a divorce question, but I think since you are experienced with cold, calcuating, cunning ...
A: I really can't tell which of you is right. I can see that you actually do want him to suffer. ...
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| Ex-wife | 7/25/2007 |
Q: I don't even know where to begin. I have been with fiancé for 2 years. He has been divorce for 4 ...
A: Heather, this is a very serious situation. You must speak to Child Protective Services. I am ...
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| Divorce and Dating | 7/17/2007 |
Q: I have been divorced for about a month now. I am currently dating my High School Sweetheart and we ...
A: T. I think you guys should wait for a year or more. It's hard to tell since you've left a lot out ...
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| Child that I can no longer protect | 7/16/2007 |
Q: I considered staying with my x so my daughter would be safe from him but trusted the court system ...
A: What you've described is certainly abuse. In fact, it sounds so extreme that I find it hard to ...
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| Cheating Wife | 7/10/2007 |
Q: 20some years ago, my wife kept telling me I was cheating on her. I was not! Her one brother knows ...
A: Wow. That's bitter. I can see why your daughters might want to stay away from you. When we get ...
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| Husband is Unhappy | 7/10/2007 |
Q: We have been married for 5yrs and have had to deal with many bad luck issues. Firstly we moved away ...
A: That's hard. And bleak. You don't include a lot in your narrative that shows any promise. I think ...
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| Cheating Wife | 7/8/2007 |
Q: 20some years ago, my wife kept telling me I was cheating on her. I was not! Her one brother knows ...
A: Sounds like a lot of bitterness and a lot of craziness. Sorry you had to suffer that. The loss of ...
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| Am I angry, or still in love? | 7/8/2007 |
Q: What started this whole mess was me telling my 25 year husband that I couldn't take our marriage any ...
A: You want advice on how to cope with the divorce. Interesting choice of word, “cope.” It usually ...
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| Difficult to contact children | 6/29/2007 |
Q: I live in the US, and my ex-wife and two sons live in the UK. Up until recently, our telephone ...
A: We spoke before didn't we? PAS is hard, hard, hard. I'd be happy to give it some thought but I ...
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| dont know what to do? | 6/16/2007 |
Q: I have been married for 8 years never have cheated. I have treated my husband like crap told him I ...
A: I had to think a long time about your letter. You have entered your midlife crisis. Often when ...
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| Loveless Marriage | 6/16/2007 |
Q: I recently found out that my husband was having an affair for the last 2 years. We have been going ...
A: Your marriage is still in crisis mode and this is always painful and frightening. People who have ...
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| Stuck in the middle. | 6/16/2007 |
Q: I am 22 years old. I have just graduated college with a degree in theatre and have my first job ...
A: I think you picked the right word when you said your father was the "crux for me." "Crux" means ...
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| Should I get a divorce | 6/15/2007 |
Q: I am 26 yrs old with 2 kids, I've been married for 6 yrs, as you can see I got married really young. ...
A: Trisha, Hi, Love is a living being fed by living beings. It's either nourished and grows or starved ...
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| Getting Rid of the Ex-Husband | 6/13/2007 |
Q: After 13 years of marriage my husband reavealed to me that he is really homosexual in orientation. ...
A: I am relieved to read your reply. Good. You've worked through a lot of this. I was afraid you ...
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| Getting Rid of the Ex-Husband | 6/13/2007 |
Q: After 13 years of marriage my husband reavealed to me that he is really homosexual in orientation. ...
A: You are very brave to raise this question. Good for you. I'm not sure what to say. I worry that ...
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| Help | 6/10/2007 |
Q: My husband is an alcoholic that I know he will never change. I want to leave him but am absolutly ...
A: Difficult situation. You really asked for legal advice, I think. I know that you have some ...
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| Anger Issues | 6/4/2007 |
Q: For the past two years, I have been angry with my father. We used to be very close,but when I Found ...
A: Wow. That's a difficult set of questions. You have a complex situation on your hands. I'll tell you ...
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| dont know what to do? | 6/2/2007 |
Q: I have been married for 8 years never have cheated. I have treated my husband like crap told him I ...
A: I work on a sliding scale but the lowest I go is $50.00. You might be able to work with someone ...
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| dont know what to do? | 6/2/2007 |
Q: I have been married for 8 years never have cheated. I have treated my husband like crap told him I ...
A: You have more work to do, that’s for sure but you’ve made that first step and there is no denying it ...
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| Time | 5/28/2007 |
Q: Divorced Hispanic male, for over 25 years. She filled blamed me for all the shortcomings in the ...
A: Hola, You have my sympathies. Yes I can help and it would probably take several phone ...
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| Telling the children | 5/23/2007 |
Q: What is the best way to tell my children that their father and I are divorcing? I think that both ...
A: Their first concern will be access to both of you. You will want to reassure them that, even though ...
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| Divorce Process | 5/16/2007 |
Q: I am in KY, my husband kicked my out of the house for no reason & i have no right to go back in the ...
A: Unusual story. usually it's the woman who kicks the man out of the house and the woman whose lawyer ...
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| Anger | 5/16/2007 |
Q: I lived with an abusive husband for over 20 years. I left nearly two years ago. As soon as I left ...
A: You've asked a very brave question. What you need to do is well known. Many have faced this same ...
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| Relationship Gone South and Two Children Involved | 4/27/2007 |
Q: I have been involved with my common-law wife for five years. We have had some good times but a lot ...
A: There is good book about this: Private Lies. The author has a lot of experience and has really ...
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| trouble with my boyfriend's ex wife | 4/24/2007 |
Q: i have been with my boyfriend now for 18 months and we have a son (6 mons). I also have a daughter(5 ...
A: I'm so glad the web page included our previous letters. I think I said to you that the way to ...
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| divorce and my 3 yr old | 4/12/2007 |
Q: Recently I have found that my husband has been unfaithful for most of our marriage. He was already ...
A: Few moments more difficult than this one. I'm so sorry. Know this: whatever you say, he won't be ...
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| trouble with my boyfriend's ex wife | 4/11/2007 |
Q: i have been with my boyfriend now for 18 months and we have a son (6 mons). I also have a daughter(5 ...
A: You are right. It is a key fact. All the difference in the world. So the challenge is how to draw ...
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| trouble with my boyfriend's ex wife | 4/9/2007 |
Q: i have been with my boyfriend now for 18 months and we have a son (6 mons). I also have a daughter(5 ...
A: It's a common problem. You will probably really hate the anwer I have for you but I've worked with ...
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| Lost | 3/29/2007 |
Q: My wife had an affair over a year ago. We went to counseling and have been trying to work things ...
A: I think I just answered this, but I'll answer again. If you are feeling hopeless is because her ...
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| divorce | 3/24/2007 |
Q: i recently started divorce actions against my husband and i want to give our relationship a real ...
A: You know I can't give you legal advice either. I'm a psychologist. My guess is that you can always ...
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| help | 3/23/2007 |
Q: in caracas my 14 years old son had an argument at the catholic high school he atends with other boy. ...
A: The four things you said are all good things to present at the meeting. You don't have to promise ...
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| help | 3/23/2007 |
Q: in caracas my 14 years old son had an argument at the catholic high school he atends with other boy. ...
A: It's hard to tell what is right. Was was right during the world cup head butt? it was a fight. It ...
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| help | 3/23/2007 |
Q: in caracas my 14 years old son had an argument at the catholic high school he atends with other boy. ...
A: Aurax. Get a therapist. Whatever confusion you have -- and seems like a lot -- you will pass along ...
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| Forced Into A Divorce - Or Is There Hope? | 3/14/2007 |
Q: I apologize in advance for this length of my “question”. My wife and I have been married for over ...
A: That's a huge question you've asked. My first recommendation is that you book an hour or two of ...
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| Was it a good reason that she left and should I take her back when she calls, | 3/1/2007 |
Q: Two weeks of that was a honneymoon. My soon to be ex-wife said she left because she was not getting ...
A: I am so sorry that you are suffering so mightily. I think this particular kind of break up is one of ...
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| Divorce | 2/28/2007 |
Q: how do I go about going to get a divorce when he don't want one and theres a house involved?No ...
A: There are lots of divorces where only one party wants one. It's not uncommon. You'll need a lawyer. ...
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| too noisy to me? | 2/21/2007 |
Q: I live in a 43 saquare meters apartment with my wife and my two doughters. My neighbor was an ...
A: It's normal. A noisy neighbor is very annoying. At the same time you have some real distortions in ...
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| Parents in two different states | 2/17/2007 |
Q: Coming upon a situation that will resolve some of my problems, I'm basically a single mother of a ...
A: Ouch. You really do have a difficult call to make, don't you. My immediate reactions to your story ...
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| Divorce | 2/9/2007 |
Q: i have been married for nearly 7 years now and we have several different issues tearing our marriage ...
A: You do have your hands full. You probably don't realize how bitter and resentment you've become. It ...
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| Effects on Children Moving from One Parent | 2/1/2007 |
Q: My ex-wife is planning on moving out of state with our kids. I am in the process of trying to see ...
A: It's not good for them to be so far away. It's a kind of major cut-off. I do think you can protest ...
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| Abandonment issues in a 4 year-old? | 1/14/2007 |
Q: Belove. I am in therapy myself and my therapist has advised me that my ex-husband sounds like and ...
A: Sounds like some of my clinical guesses were good. So your daughter will be worried about her dad ...
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| Abandonment issues in a 4 year-old? | 1/14/2007 |
Q: My ex-husband has depression and generalized anxiety disorder. After years of mental and verbal ...
A: Big time issues here. Your daughter is way over the top on this one and I think you ought bring in ...
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| Granparents Divorce | 1/12/2007 |
Q: We are dealing with a tough situation right now. My mother-in-law was just informed by her husband ...
A: I agree with you. He is part of the family history and that’s reason enough. Thirty years is lots of ...
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| appropriate relationship with ex spouses | 1/8/2007 |
Q: What is an appropriate relationship with an ex-spouse? My boyfriend and his ex had a very amicable ...
A: I think you are appropriately concerned. The "coming on vacation" comment is the clearest example, ...
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| Lawyer Moves | 1/7/2007 |
Q: Me and my 2 minor children have been living with my parent's since July 2006. My parent's helped me ...
A: Strictly speaking this question is beyond my competence as a psychologist. I suggest you give a ...
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| single father - future prospects with women | 1/1/2007 |
Q: I'm 45 years old and have split from my former wife. She had mental illness and issues of harm to ...
A: I think you've sized it up about right, except for the part about how single mothers of young ...
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| Helping my divorced partners children deal with me being around. | 12/27/2006 |
Q: My partner and I hav ebeen together only a few months, but we were friends before. He has recently ...
A: I would need more information. It's very important how intimate you guys were before the divorce. If ...
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| With Mr Right but think about Mr Wrong | 12/13/2006 |
Q: .. After thinking it over and thinking about how much I want my current love to feel he has my full ...
A: That worked out very well didn't it. I'm not surprised. The best way out of a triangle is to drop ...
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| With Mr Right but think about Mr Wrong | 12/11/2006 |
Q: I do not feel comfortable with speaking to Mr Wrong as there was quite a lot of emotional and verbal ...
A: Well, do the letter you don't mail thing and really go for it. You'll be surprised at what comes up. ...
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| no place to go | 12/11/2006 |
Q: I have been in a relationship with my gf for 10 yrs. She has lived with me for 8 of those yrs. We ...
A: That is a very difficult situation. I think you'll have to work it out with her and ask for her ...
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| With Mr Right but think about Mr Wrong | 12/11/2006 |
Q: Was divorced from Mr Wrong 3 years ago. He was my 1st love and we married at 20. We were married ...
A: You have some unfinished business with your ex and you probably need a conversation, at least, with ...
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| Divorce and my 2 yr old | 11/28/2006 |
Q: I left my husband in March of this year. My divorce will be final in Dec. I have a 2 1/2 yr old son ...
A: Kori, A version of your question seems to come up a few times a year, if that's any comfort. Here ...
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| Acknowledgment | 11/24/2006 |
Q: Am in the process of getting divorced. My husband is the most charming man anyone can meet, until he ...
A: That's a very good question. My guess is that you have exaggerated the situation. I do believe you ...
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| life after divorce | 11/20/2006 |
Q: I would like to talk more about my situation as I desperately need help (emotional/ mental) Please ...
A: I got your email. Thanks. I'm traveling today and tomorrow and I'll be in LA on Wednesday and ...
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| husband doesn't work | 11/18/2006 |
Q: I've been married for 13yrs have 2 kids and I love my husband. He is a good dad and husband except ...
A: Treeser, Based on the little you've told me I think you are doing the right thing. It takes two to ...
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| He is still married! | 11/17/2006 |
Q: He is still married! I should tell you that he has never went back to her to stay then come ...
A: You know, we might do better if we spoke. You could write me at drbelove@datingatmidlife.com to ...
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| He is still married! | 11/16/2006 |
Q: Well, you've heard this before, but this is a little different. I started seeing a married man in ...
A: I'm so sorry. The situation you are in is impossible. You said, "I feel just like the other ...
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| child porn | 11/16/2006 |
Q: I foound my husband up at 2 am masturbating and I was able to search his deleted history.... found ...
A: Sounds serious. Go to google and type in the search window: reporting child pornography. It will ...
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| Should I let my son live with his father? | 11/5/2006 |
Q: My husband and I divorced a year ago and I was given primary custody of our 14-year-old son. My ex ...
A: It's hard to know the answer in your case. People do elaborate custody evaluations and write up 20 ...
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| How Friends treat Friends in a Divorce | 11/4/2006 |
Q: Last month I left my husband of 17-years. Since the separation, he has been contacting two of my ...
A: This is common problem both for the couple getting the divorce and for people who were the friends ...
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| telling a 5 yr old | 11/1/2006 |
Q: my wife of 6 years and i decided in july to get divorced...we didnt even tell family members till a ...
A: If you don't mind, I'd like to ask you one and I'm genuinely curious. I've heard this phrase so ...
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| divorce | 10/28/2006 |
Q: I have not seen or heard from my husband for 20 years nor know where he is How can I divorce him?
A: I don't know. I'm not a lawyer. However, it might be surprisingly easy. Contact legal aid and ask ...
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| Live-in boyfriend still won't divorce his ex | 10/25/2006 |
Q: In Jan '05 I(29) met my boyfriend(38), he was very open about the fact that he was still married, ...
A: I'm afraid you are in the mistress position and unless that is exactly what you want and all you ...
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| divorced parents can't agree on anything | 10/24/2006 |
Q: You were dead-on with absolutely everything. I had been thinking along the same lines as what you ...
A: You've got your work cut out for you. You might want to do a little reading. The best presentation ...
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| divorced parents can't agree on anything | 10/23/2006 |
Q: I am a divorced (8 years ago) mom of 9 year old twins who is having difficulty compromising ...
A: This is a difficult situation and it is a power struggle, probably an extension of why you are ...
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| Allimony and Taxes | 10/20/2006 |
Q: I have been order to pay alimony (3,000/mo)indefinitely based on an income I don't actually make. ...
A: Ouch. You aren't the first man to be in this situation. You've got a legal problem and you have to ...
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| divorce | 10/19/2006 |
Q: my husband and i have been seperated for two years now,he found someone else.he kick me out and i ...
A: What a powerful and disturbing story you've told. You asked whether he can quit making payments. ...
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| My husband has abandoned me | 10/9/2006 |
Q: I am currently recovering from my 2nd back surger in 64 days. I am only 6 days past my surgery and ...
A: He probbly can't just walk away. You'll need a lawyer and I can't give you legal advice. Try a ...
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| dating during divorce | 9/27/2006 |
Q: I filed for divorce a month ago after learning my husband was having an 'emotional relationship'. ...
A: First of all, my sympathies to you. It's a shame and will be very difficult for your three year old. ...
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| mediation and psych eval | 9/27/2006 |
Q: I have been divorced for 3 years. I non contested the divorce based on the wife's word she was going ...
A: Sounds like you really don't like the current arrangment and you think you are giving away way too ...
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| Leaving the state with children/ Minnesota | 9/26/2006 |
Q: My lady and I are Having a child together, and we have oppertunities to leave state. The problem is ...
A: You've asked a legal question. I'm a psychologist with expertise in how couples develop themselves. ...
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| Dealing with divorce | 9/25/2006 |
Q: My husband are starting the separation process, and will eventually be divorce, after 26 yrs of ...
A: It's a good one. (Also, the "filby" struck me. As a young man that was my nickname. I got it ...
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| divorce | 9/24/2006 |
Q: my son is at a juvenile detention ctr i would like to put him into a wilderness program, the father ...
A: Sorry I can't help you with your question. It's a legal matter and I'm a psychologist with an ...
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| divorce and real estate | 9/18/2006 |
Q: My grandson is not yet divorced and wanted to buy a house. Is that possible before the divorce and ...
A: Bonnie, thanks for your question. It's a legal question probably and I'm a psychologist and so my ...
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| getting over divorce | 9/3/2006 |
Q: am 26 years old and i got married right after graduation from university for only 5 months and i ...
A: I am very sorry about your pain. That is how it is. It could take you up to three years to get over ...
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| Ordered to leave own home | 9/1/2006 |
Q: I went through a messy divorce afew years ago. During the process I was the one who was ordered to ...
A: Tricky question for me to handle. I'm sure there are stories within stories within stories here. ...
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| Divorce | 8/31/2006 |
Q: My husband has filed for divorce,he has paid for a survivors annuity for the past 20years with me as ...
A: I can't help you on this one. It's a legal/financial question and my expertise is psychology. Good ...
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| Why is | 8/20/2006 |
Q: I am a widow(54)dating an honest caring man(56) for 2 yrs. He married once and was asked for a ...
A: Being an old Gilbert and Sullivan fan, the initials HMS have such meaning for me, but I've set that ...
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| Property | 8/7/2006 |
Q: Mr. Belove, My name is Nicholas and I am in the process of a divorce and we are trying to be ...
A: Nicholas, This question is outside my expertise. You might want to talk to an attorney. You might ...
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| Boyfriends ex-wife... | 8/7/2006 |
Q: My boyfriend is the father of 2 girls which he had in a past marriage. He has been divorced now for ...
A: Great, great question. One major section of my book about dating at midlife has to do with this ...
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| tell the child | 8/6/2006 |
Q: Can you advise me what to tell a 5 year old child about divorce. It's a cheating husband. She's ...
A: It's hard to answer your question without more information. I would prefer the wording,"Mom and ...
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| Custody | 8/3/2006 |
Q: I have been divorced for 3 years and my ex still has anger towards me. He plays games when it comes ...
A: My heart goes out to you. You need a lawyer and you probably need a therapist, too. I would imagine ...
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| divorce | 8/2/2006 |
Q: I have been married for 17 years. My husband have been living together now for 2 yrs after being ...
A: First of all, the connection between you and your husband is very strong and I don't think you guys ...
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| Just need advice | 8/1/2006 |
Q: My wife and I have decided to split. She wants a seperation, I might as well get a divorce. We want ...
A: Sounds like a situation where you guys ought to get a mediator. Also it sounds like things really ...
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| Win back my husband | 7/30/2006 |
Q: My husband of ten years decided he was unhappy. He moved far away to start his life over and left me ...
A: I know I've recently told a couple of women what I thought they could do and in those cases there ...
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| seperation | 7/29/2006 |
Q: I live in Maryland. My wife and I are having trouble and she asked me to leave the house because ...
A: Jake, thanks for writing. Talk to an attorney. You've asked a legal question. On the ...
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| Father-to-be walked out on his marriage | 7/29/2006 |
Q: My husband and I of four years recently found out we were pregnant after years of trying. About ...
A: You've asked two questions: what is going through his mind and should I try to save this marriage. ...
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| I NEED A PLAN | 7/28/2006 |
Q: I thought I would answer you questions. I hope I can come up with something. I tried to find ...
A: It was a little difficult to tell what came from you and what was just a duplicate of what I sent. ...
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| I NEED A PLAN | 7/26/2006 |
Q: I sent this earlier but it was answered by S. Kessler who, no offense, wasn't helpful at all. My ...
A: I hope I can come up with something. I tried to find Kessler's answer but couldn't. I am curious ...
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| What a mess | 7/25/2006 |
Q: My wife told me last year she was not happy in our 10 year marriage. At the end of the year I found ...
A: There might be a few things you can do. The making you a villain is a common move by people who ...
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| Alimony | 7/25/2006 |
Q: My husband quit his job three years ago and has not brought home a paycheck with the exception of a ...
A: You've asked a legal question and I have no particular expertise so my answers aren't going to be ...
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| How can I win my husband back . | 7/24/2006 |
Q: A turn around, I asked him to let's ride together to take our son, he just point told me thought it ...
A: Sounds like you have handled things well. Also it sounds like you have been fortunate in finding a ...
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| X- wife | 7/21/2006 |
Q: (no children).now have been divorced for 1.5 yrs. Have a wonderful relationship of 9mos with someone ...
A: Good question. You've had an intuitive response. Sounds like one of the ways baggage shows itself. ...
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| adultry | 7/16/2006 |
Q: my husband has filed for divorce on grounds of adultry and i have answered his complaint and im not ...
A: I can't tell you. I don't know. It often depends on the county and local conditions. I'm a ...
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| Divorce | 7/16/2006 |
Q: have been married for 8 years (Aug 06.)My husband has cheated on me throughout our marriage and is ...
A: This is a very difficult situation. Based on the little you've said in this letter, I don't think ...
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| how to make things even | 7/14/2006 |
Q: married 28yr right out of high school we were 17 and preg. got a good pay job in a factory and hated ...
A: You have a tough battle on your hands. As you tell the story, she sounds really resentful, really ...
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| How can I win my husband back . | 7/10/2006 |
Q: Can you please tell me how to win my husband back after divorce. I love him I was marriage for over ...
A: What you have to do will be very difficult and will require cleverness and patience. He is a ...
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| dating ex-husband | 7/7/2006 |
Q: I trid to go to your website like you suggested(drbelove@datingatmidlife.com)to answer the question ...
A: I am disturbed to hear that you couldn't pull up my web site. Thanks for telling me. I'll check it ...
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| infidelity | 7/7/2006 |
Q: I recently caught my wife having an affair with my lawyer...when I confronted her she went through a ...
A: (I hit the wrong button on the experts site and you may get a notice that I'm not answering this ...
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| moving on from divorce | 7/6/2006 |
Q: Well, 3 years ago I left my husband because of infedility. We argured, talked, made various ...
A: You want me to tell you you are not crazy. I have mixed feelings about that. I think what you are ...
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| Property settlement | 7/6/2006 |
Q: My wife and I are going thru an uncontested divorce. We live in Virginia. We have a separation ...
A: I can only answer the psychology part of your question, which appears to be mainly a legal and ...
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| Married 23 years, feel betrayed | 7/5/2006 |
Q: Married 23 year, 2 college age children. Husband lost our business due to taking money that wasn't ...
A: This is a sad, sad story you have to tell. And you are in some trouble too. First, for support, ...
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| Divorce decree violation and plan simple mean behavior. | 7/5/2006 |
Q: The ex is constantly interferring with my visitation and communication with my children. My ...
A: I'm not sure what would be helpful to you. YOu said you wanted an opinion. Well, it sure sounds like ...
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| Divorce decree violation and plan simple mean behavior. | 7/3/2006 |
Q: The ex is constantly interferring with my visitation and communication with my children. My ...
A: It's a legal problem and as a psychologist I can't give you legal advice. Amazingly bitter ...
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| divorce | 6/27/2006 |
Q: we have been broken up for 2 years and lived in another state. I have already filed for divorce and ...
A: Probably not but I am not a lawyer. I am a psychologist and you have asked for a legal opinion. My ...
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| introducing kids to new boyfriend | 6/12/2006 |
Q: My wife of 16 years...(15 of which were happy)has introduced a boyfriend to our 2 boys 15 and 12 via ...
A: The emotional hurt your boys will suffer will be caused far more by the sudden breakup of your ...
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| How to move on | 6/6/2006 |
Q: I'm starting to wonder sometimes if I am crazy. Why is that after someone has done so many awful ...
A: I'm sure these are thoughts you've been carrying for a long time. I'll do my best for you here. ...
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| Laws surrounding spouse entitlement | 5/17/2006 |
Q: What type of entitlement does a spouse (wife) have to husbands money? I always hear they are ...
A: I can't help you. THis is a legal question. I'm a psychologist and can't give legal advice. Try ...
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| Emotional problems after ending abusive relationship | 5/11/2006 |
Q: I was in a 12-year-long abusive relationship with a man who had custody of his 3 daughters. He was ...
A: Your problem is predictable and not that unusual. And, yes, therapy is a good idea. What happens ...
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| visitation schedules and verbal abuse | 5/11/2006 |
Q: My ex-husband and I have been apart/divorced for 9yrs. We have a 17yr old and a 10yr old, both ...
A: Must be something going around. Maybe it’s Spring. I’m just now working with someone ...
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| visitation schedules and verbal abuse | 5/11/2006 |
Q: My ex-husband and I have been apart/divorced for 9yrs. We have a 17yr old and a 10yr old, both ...
A: Must be something going around. Maybe it’s Spring. I’m just now working with someone ...
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| Please tell me how? | 4/13/2006 |
Q: So after 8 years it's over. He left once for a girl he met in a chat room, I let him come back and ...
A: You have my sympathies. First of all, to get right to your last question, it isn't right. In the ...
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| Want revenge | 4/8/2006 |
Q: I don't even have the money for an attourney yet, and I think that would have to come first before I ...
A: I'm glad what I said was encouraging. I can't say enough good about 12 step meetings. You have to ...
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| Custody/welfare of child | 4/8/2006 |
Q: Philip, Many thanks for your reply. I fear, however, that I have not given you all the information ...
A: Well, you have me stumped. I don't know what to advise you. I am so used to our legal system and its ...
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| Custody/welfare of child | 4/7/2006 |
Q: I am separated, currently divorcing and I have a child who is nearly 4 years old. I am trying to ...
A: It is sad that your relationship has so deteriorated and there is so much hatred in the air. I'm ...
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| Want revenge | 4/7/2006 |
Q: I am 20 and my wife is 20. We met each other 4 years ago and have been married since October 12th, ...
A: First of all you say her mother is an ex addict and then at the end, that neither family has a ...
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| Violence after divorce | 2/10/2006 |
Q: In less than 1 week, I have read in the newspaper and on the internet that three different men, got ...
A: I thought I had answered this. I've been on the road. So, my apologies. I did like the answer I'd ...
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| Children & dating during divorce | 2/5/2006 |
Q: Dr. Belove. I have written to you before. I filed for divorce the week of Thanksgiving after ...
A: It is a painful story. It is hard to tell at this point in time how the future will unfold. ...
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| Hello, dear Sir or Madam!
My... | 1/22/2006 |
Q: My name is Lora Georgieva and I heard for your web site from Internet. My story is very comlicated ...
A: Lora, If your stories are true and not an exagerration, then it means that he is punishing you and ...
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| Divorce? | 1/13/2006 |
Q: I think my husband is considering leaving me. Can he file for divorce without telling me? How can I ...
A: This is a legal question. I can give you answers but for authoritative answers you have to talk to a ...
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| Visitation issues | 1/3/2006 |
Q: Okay, here is my situation. I filed for divorce before Thanksgiving. We have temporary orders in ...
A: I think it makes sense to look at this as two problems. One is a legal problem and the other ...
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| Children/Divorce | 1/3/2006 |
Q: I am going a divorce with two children the ages of 6 and 5. My ex-husband left my children november ...
A: Terrible story. What he did was quite awful and it pains me to read it. How far away is he? Has he ...
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| Kids | 12/19/2005 |
Q: I have been married for a wonderful 6.5 years to a great man with a 10 yr. old son from a previous ...
A: Also, I appreciate being addressed by name. This is a really difficult situation you've described. ...
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| Do you rememeber me III | 11/18/2005 |
Q: Followup To Question - sometimes I think about studing math as an abssesion, even the fact that ...
A: I remember you but I I don't remember what we talked about. I do give advice. I give ...
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| Children of Divorce | 11/15/2005 |
Q: I am 36 yrs old with a 31/2 yr old daughter...I have been separated and now divorced for 2yrs and I ...
A: Try anything by Emily Visher. There's also a magazine. You can have one free phone call with me ...
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| personal items | 11/14/2005 |
Q: my husband and I separated last Nov. I had asked him to get his belongings out of my house before ...
A: You've asked a legal question. My legal advice is worth no more than any other non-lawyer's opinion. ...
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| Do you rememeber me II | 11/8/2005 |
Q: You know I consulted a free psychiatrist in a hospital who was lacanian and he never says anything, ...
A: You have blamed the psychiatrist for not warning you sufficiently. Be careful when you do that. It ...
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| Divorce/Children | 11/8/2005 |
Q: I am a 46 year white female and my husband of 10 years has moved to FL and taken a job with a ...
A: You do have a difficult situation on your hands. As I read your letter I hear a lot of ...
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| retirement | 11/7/2005 |
Q: I have been married 6 years. Am I able to get 1/2 of his retirement? Also, he has a motorcycle and ...
A: For ethical reasons, I can't give you legal advice, so I don't know what you can get in a ...
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| Do you rememeber me? | 11/7/2005 |
Q: I am the one a con-woman fulled with a movil phone and suffered two horrible grieves. Are you able ...
A: This is certainly a call for help. I don't know whether I can help you or not. I know that ...
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| No money for divorce | 11/3/2005 |
Q: I am in need of getting a divorce so that many many financial issues can be cleared up as to who is ...
A: As a psyschologist I can't give legal advice. And if it did anyway, it wouldn't be worth much. But ...
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| Finding a way to be divorced & to live on ss disability | 10/17/2005 |
Q: I am 52 yr . and have been marriied for 21 Yrs. I have 2 children, 1 who will soon be 19 and lives ...
A: You ask a huge question. I'll take a guess. I'll go way out on a limb. I might say some things you ...
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| insurance | 10/2/2005 |
Q: what should I ask for health insurance; I have MS and I've had it for 11 years. The past three ...
A: I'm not an attorney so this is not legal advice. I think you've asked a legal question. My sense is ...
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| teenager/long distance transition | 9/26/2005 |
Q: I am in a long distance [ld] relationship for almost a year now; sometimes I fly out to see him and ...
A: Good questions. You aren't the only one asking them. You might find some information on the various ...
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| moving out | 8/17/2005 |
Q: My husband and I recently decided to divorce/separate. He is going to keep the house. Is it ok to ...
A: Good luck . This will be a difficult transition. Don't be too hard on yourself and take it easy. ...
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| Rights of working spouse married 25+ years | 6/27/2005 |
Q: My boyfriend is going through a divorce. He had been married for more than 25 years and his wife ...
A: What a nasty story. I can't really advise you about your legal situation. I'm a psychologist, not a ...
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| Visitation after divorce | 6/20/2005 |
Q: When my 3 year old daughter came back from her visit with her father(This was her third visit after ...
A: It is sad and a three year old can't begin to understand what a divorce means. All she knows is that ...
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| i'm in new york
can child... | 5/20/2005 |
Q: i'm in new york can child support be applied retroactively even on the non costodial parent who ahs ...
A: These are legal questions and I'm a psychologist and my professional ethics don't allow me answering ...
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| First Step? | 4/7/2005 |
Q: I am going through a separation. My husband just moved out of my apartment. I need to know what are ...
A: You're asking for legal advice. I'm a psychologist and can't help you there. You'll need a lawyer. ...
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| children in the middle | 4/6/2005 |
Q: I've been married for 23 years. I've been a quiet person compared to my wife's outspoken ...
A: It's not that unusual a problem. I've coached a few people through this one. The ultimatum is ...
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| Divorce seems to be the only option | 3/19/2005 |
Q: Does it get easier? I don't think I can cry anymore...I am literally emotionally and physically ill. ...
A: Well you do have your hands full. I'm going to make a bunch of guesses here and they are guesses. ...
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| Infidelity | 2/27/2005 |
Q: I was in an abusive marriage. Instead of standing on my own two feet, I involved myself in an ...
A: I could help you but I'd need to know more. If you were still in your marriage I would simply tell ...
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| Dealing with Pressure | 2/9/2005 |
Q: How can I deal with my boyfriends ex....She has poisoned her childrens minds. I have been living ...
A: I've helped some others with this situation. It's a hard one and it won't yield easily. It might ...
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| GETTING OVER IT.. | 12/29/2004 |
Q: IAM AN ACTIVE DUTY MILITARY MEMBER .IAM 27 AND JUST RECENTLY DIVORCED.WE WERE ONLY MARRIED ABOUT ...
A: Very resourceful of you to find me. I would recommend counseling but it depends a lot on the ...
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| Divorce | 12/18/2004 |
Q: What are the effects of divorce on the family? How can divorce also be a good things for the family?
A: There's been a lot of research on the topic. I suggest you start with Judith Wallerstein and her ...
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| Divorce: the effect on the children | 12/6/2004 |
Q: I am writing you because I am a journalism student at Ball State University and I am researching the ...
A: Could you please continue this dialog with me directly at drbelove@datingmidlife.com and not through ...
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| My wife wnats to stay friends, even have sex !! | 12/5/2004 |
Q: I am only recently seperated, 3 months, living out of the house 5 weeks, I have already felt like ...
A: I don't think a long-term plan is the best idea at this point in time. I might be wrong. I'd need to ...
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| Should I hold off dating ? | 12/4/2004 |
Q: I am only 3 months into a seperation, have been only living outside the home for 1 month. After the ...
A: Chris, It's probably totally too soon. Check out my website www.datingatmidlife.com and subscribe ...
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| Just separated after being married 32 years | 11/30/2004 |
Q: I have found in a long painful process that my husband's business was failing and to keep it going, ...
A: Terrible story. And during the holiday season. Very sorry. I'll give you a free phone consult to ...
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| Divorce: the effect on the children | 11/30/2004 |
Q: Here in America where divorce rates seem to continually rise, what effect is this having upon the ...
A: No one quite knows the answers here. Judith Wallerstein has done the best long term studies of ...
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| in new york under what ocnditions... | 11/20/2004 |
Q: in new york under what ocnditions cna a woman collect child support? if she delays applying can ...
A: You've asked a legal question and I'm a psychologists and my answers can not be taken ...
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| feeling controlled and manipulated by daughter and ex | 11/12/2004 |
Q: How do I set proper boundaries and get some feeling of self-respect when my daughter and ex both ...
A: Please accept my apologies for the delayed response. I was away teaching over the weekend. You do ...
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| desiring divorce(I think) | 11/6/2004 |
Q: My question was erased a few minutes ago by the magic of my fingers at the computer. I will attempt ...
A: It's a therapy issue. It's something you will need to talk over and think your way through. You've ...
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| I was wondering what some... | 10/31/2004 |
Q: I was wondering what some of the psychological effects of a difficult divorce are? How does one ...
A: Leila, Thanks for writing. You've written a HUGE question. It's probably about everything I've been ...
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| trying to find a way back | 10/26/2004 |
Q: how do two people that have broken up after 7 years find a way back into each others hearts? i ...
A: It can be done. A lot depends on how the breakup was handled. Very few couples simply break up ...
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| previously sent question | 10/23/2004 |
Q: I asked you a question a short time ago and clicked on private question. I'm not sure how that ...
A: I can't remember which question was yours and I don't remember how I answered it. It seems like I ...
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| divorce to stay together | 9/28/2004 |
Q: my wife and i are 52. due to failing health, she cannot work. we are conscidering divorce so she can ...
A: What a poignant story. I hope the Kerry campaign hears about it. In todays economic climate lots of ...
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| my brother in law is helpless | 9/26/2004 |
Q: ok my brother in law and his wife have been seperated since april,and she still has her things there ...
A: This is a very difficult situation -- I don't have to tell you that -- and it has legal ...
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| What do I do | 9/25/2004 |
Q: Hope you can help me with my situation. I have been dating my girlfriend for about a year now ...
A: I have been working with midlife singles and dating for about ten years now and one of the ...
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| Divorced Friend | 8/20/2004 |
Q: I met a man through business contacts back in January. In February he filed for divorce - something ...
A: Interesting question. I can give you some rules of thumb. My basic take is that it sounds like you ...
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| Debt obligations of ex-wife | 8/13/2004 |
Q: What is the best way to enforce that my exwife pays the van payment? Out of the divorce, I was ...
A: Scott. It's a legal question and I can't help you. I'm a shrink. I can commiserate, for what ...
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| ending it??? | 8/8/2004 |
Q: 1. on a rebound from a disastrous affair, i start internet chatting witha asian woman. well she is ...
A: You've stumbled into a common place for midlife men. The lure of Asian wives seems to speak to a ...
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| Mexican marriage | 7/21/2004 |
Q: I was divorced about 4 years ago. My ex wife is receiving spousal support until Decemeber of 2005, ...
A: It's a legal question and as a psychologist I have to say that my answer carries absolutely no ...
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| divorce and children | 7/13/2004 |
Q: I will try not to make this too long. I am in a loveless marriage. There is no fighting, abuse ...
A: Loveless marriages are the result of persistence. It takes a while to squeeze the love out of a ...
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| My new and real identity | 6/26/2004 |
Q: My dear frien pedromunoz1111@hotmail.com is closed. From now on this is my new e mail. I did not ...
A: I responded through allexperts so I do not know why you did not receive it. CBT is extremely ...
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| How can I let go? | 6/25/2004 |
Q: I have been separated from my husband since February. I found out that he has been cheating on me ...
A: Perfect name for a person in your situation. Sadness. Thanks for writing. The short answer is ...
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| new to divorce | 6/24/2004 |
Q: Why do I feel so guilty about the breakup. I know it was the right decision for my cituation. How ...
A: No simply answer here, sorry. I'd need to have a conversation with you and then I might be able to ...
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| you are good | 6/14/2004 |
Q: ------------------------- Dear Philipe: You know what disturbes me: *The fact that I like her but ...
A: YOU ASKED: Dear Philipe: You know what disturbes me: *The fact that I like her but she did not ...
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| You're Amazing! | 5/4/2004 |
Q: the outside guy who also loves me. As mentioned, I gave until July 4 to make a final decision - but ...
A: I'm doing this because I want a private practice entirely on the phone. I've picked a specific ...
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| Help me | 5/3/2004 |
Q: I thought that all therapist work was confidential? Yes - we are goign through reimbursable ...
A: Confidentiality. Your work is confidential within the system. But there is a good chance that your ...
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| Help me | 5/3/2004 |
| Q: My husband does know about this other man. We have also tried several ro |
