You are here:
- Home
- Parenting/Family
- Step-Parenting
- Divorce Issues
Divorce Issues/Questions Answered by Expert Pastor Kimberly Lemler
| Subject | Date Asked |
| Seperaton - Is it over? | 2/2/2010 |
| Q: I have been separated from my wife of 20 years for the last 7 months. She kicked me oit when she ... A: I really don't know her end of this story and so it's hard for me to counsel both of you on what you ... | |
| Breaking down with hurt | 10/23/2009 |
| Q: I don't know what to do. I have a 9 year old daughter with my ex husband I divorced 6 years ago. I ... A: Unfortunately, this is what can happen when money is the ruling factor. I am so sorry you are going ... | |
| Husband Does Not Support Family Financially | 10/1/2009 |
| Q: We are both in our 40s, married for 17 years, 1 10 year old child, strong Christian faith. Husband ... A: Was his family like this as well? Just wondering because many times it's a generational curse and no ... | |
| How can I believe and trust again? | 9/15/2009 |
| Q: My first marriage was horrible. Suffice it to say there was abuse, incest with two of our three ... A: Leanne, The problem I see here is that you are putting all of your trust, hope, and faith in man, ... | |
| Still in love with soon to be ex husband | 2/21/2009 |
| Q: My soon to be ex husband and I have been going through an awful, adversarial, high-conflict divorce ... A: Tough question. Every situation is unique and it's so hard to say what is the right path to take. ... | |
| shocked | 2/9/2009 |
| Q: I've recently started dating a man and we've really hit it off. He's handsome, smart, funny, rich ... A: This man is purely disgusting if he is doing all the things you say. Absolutely do not discuss this ... | |
| TRUE INTENTIONS | 2/2/2009 |
| Q: We were together on and off for 7 years... It"s been about 2 years now that we've been separated. ... A: Without speaking to her, I really don't know what her motivation is. Many times the ex will stil ... | |
| Can myspace ruin my marriage? | 1/30/2009 |
| Q: Pastor, my name is Carl and I am facing a real difficult issue. Let me start by saying that I am a ... A: I don't see this escalating to a divorce, but I do think you both need pastoral counseling and get ... | |
| is it time to move on? | 1/28/2009 |
| Q: I have been wanting out of our marriage for 5 years now. He isn't physically abusive, but does name ... A: Have you talked with your father-in-law about this? Does he know that his son is abusive? If you ... | |
| Sharing of concerns resulted in filing of divorce. | 1/19/2009 |
| Q: I have been with my husband for over 20 years and we have been married for 18. We have 2 children ... A: Karen, It is understandable that if your husband is not being the husband that he should that you ... | |
| I'm so lost and confused | 1/15/2009 |
| Q: Pastor, I am so confused. I am a christian woman of 24 years old. I have been with my husband for 5 ... A: This situation is much deeper than just the MySpace accusations. It sounds as though there are a lot ... | |
| Getting through the process | 1/4/2009 |
| Q: My husband left and is now in an apartment and my daughter is with him. They want to take furniture ... A: I think having a bed a few basics are okay, but you need to be careful or he may clean you out. It's ... | |
| divorce | 8/29/2008 |
| Q: My husband and i are getting a divorce. He has money and doesnt think he should have to part with ... A: Part of "his" money is yours so you need to do what you have to so that you can hire an attorney. If ... | |
| Divorce | 7/22/2008 |
| Q: Ok, so I have no idea who to talk to... My parents divorced when I was really young. Right after my ... A: I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know how hard it is. My own mother was very abusive ... | |
| New wife and thoughts on child support | 7/9/2008 |
| Q: My boyfriend and I have been discussing marriage. I'm 35 and he's 30 with a 3 year old. He brought ... A: I'm glad you two are discussing all of this now, before the wedding. You need to be in agreement on ... | |
| need marriage advice | 7/7/2008 |
| Q: dear pastor kimberly first off i want to thank you in advance for answering my question iam a ... A: It's a privilege to be able to help you in any way I can... I know this is very difficult for ... | |
| Boyfriends Ex- Wife | 7/2/2008 |
| Q: My boyfriend has been divorced for 2 years and has 2 small children. He is trying to be super dad ... A: I think you are correct in saying that he may need to back off a bit. If the ex is calling him to be ... | |
| ex husband | 7/1/2008 |
| Q: I guess i should start by saying that 3 1/2 years ago i left my common law husband of 15 years ... A: You say that he is still drinking once a week. For an alcoholic to be drinking at all is not a good ... | |
| divorce and drugs | 6/27/2008 |
| Q: on monday my wife of 24 years went into a rage when i confronted her about her constant drug use, we ... A: I need to know what your spiritual beliefs are so that I can make some recommendations... Are you ... | |
| divorce | 6/19/2008 |
| Q: My ex-wife is always starting problems with me and now it has came to the point that she is taking ... A: I think you need to keep looking for a lawyer who will take this back to court and get your child ... | |
| Life after 20 year marriage | 6/12/2008 |
| Q: My wife and I married when she was pregnant and 17, and I was barely 19. It shouldn't have worked, ... A: I have seen people reconcile after divorce and their marriages were very blessed. So it certainly ... | |
| divorced sister | 5/29/2008 |
| Q: My sister recently divorced her husband after 23 years. Her and her ex were very very close to me ... A: You are walking a fine line because you risk hurting either of them if you tell them they shouldn't ... | |
| doubting relationship | 5/28/2008 |
| Q: How do you know if a girl really loves you? I am engaged about to be married in 9 weeks and my ... A: I think you have some serious issues to work through and I would suggest putting this marriage on ... | |
| Spouse wants to be employed | 5/16/2008 |
| Q: I am newly married for the second time. My first husband has passed away and I have two children ... A: It sounds as if your husband is showing a pattern of behavior and his last wife didn't want to put ... | |
| Martial Separation -- Need Advice | 5/13/2008 |
| Q: I definitely need wisdom right now and wanted to get your perspective on my situation. My wife and ... A: The book you mentioned should really help you. There are 2 books, part 1 and 2 so make sure to get ... | |
| Divorce or not??? | 5/2/2008 |
| Q: I recently discovered my wife had an affair- it started with an online thing that progressed to the ... A: Let me first say that adultery is wrong, wrong, wrong. God denounces it and He is quite clear that ... | |
| divorce | 3/13/2008 |
| Q: My husband is active duty military, and we just PCS'd from WA to TN, after arriving there, plans ... A: I think it's disgraceful how your husband is treating you. You need to contact an attorney asap. ... | |
| probs with ex- hubbys new wife | 2/18/2008 |
| Q: I have an ex husband with an extremely insecure new wife. There is so much sordid drama behind their ... A: Not an easy situation for you....so sorry you are going through this! It is a nightmare for some ... | |
| Getting over divorce | 1/19/2008 |
| Q: I'm a 33yr old male. I have a 4yr old son. My wife and I are getting divorced. She wants out. I am ... A: If you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus, then that is what I first recommend. The ... | |
| Step Parent | 1/18/2008 |
| Q: This site might only be for divorce issues but maybe you will help. I'm remarried and my husband ... A: I think you have it right when you say that he has no empathy. This man has very little regard for ... | |
| separated 2 1/2 yr with 4 yr old, no support | 1/17/2008 |
| Q: I am separated, have been for 2 1/2 yr now, and have a beautiful almost-4-yr-old. To sum up a really ... A: I am glad you are keeping your sense of humor!! It's the best approach to your situation. Good for ... | |
| second marriage | 1/11/2008 |
| Q: Lamler I am 30 Yrs. old Indian Woman from a conservative Indian Family. Being elderest between 4 ... A: The counsel that I give comes from the Bible and the promises in the Word are for those who have ... | |
| Divorce | 12/26/2007 |
| Q: "I was married 25 yrs and have been divorced for 3 yrs. My ex would not seek counseling for ... A: This is terribly unfair of your children. If they can't give you a reason for their dislike, then ... | |
| My best friend lied to me about still being married | 12/19/2007 |
| Q: I feel a sense of deep grief. I just found out my best friend has been divorced for over a year and ... A: The first thing that comes to me when I read your letter is this: "Why is this your business?" I'm ... | |
| Need Spiritual Guidance.... | 12/13/2007 |
| Q: my name is Amanda and I am a single mom of a beautiful 2 year old boy. I would like to tell you a ... A: Wow, what a remarkable young woman you are! I applaud your efforts. You have it more together than a ... | |
| Re-Marriage | 12/4/2007 |
| Q: Dr. Lemler, I am seeking your input. I have been divorced 5 years. In that time I was granted sole ... A: The legal aspects of your question will have to be addressed by an attorney. I don't know about the ... | |
| divorce | 11/8/2007 |
| Q: Kim, concerning my situation with my adulterous affair. My wife did know about the affair as I was ... A: You are allowing your feelings to dictate you. Right now I want to take a big Bible and come over ... | |
| divorce | 11/7/2007 |
| Q: I have been married 24 years. I am a Christian-since age 6-accepting Jesus Christ into my heart as ... A: Your letter is very heartfelt. I know you feel you are in a situation that is pulling you apart. A ... | |
| After divorce, should we still meet?? | 10/5/2007 |
| Q: I'm currently going through a divorce process with my wife after 11 years together. We fell in love ... A: I imagine that your wife is thinking that you are the one that betrayed the commitment and she got ... | |
| Divorce | 9/26/2007 |
| Q: I’ve married for 4 years to my current wife. I was married before for 2 years but divorced due to ... A: There are so many issues to address here...and I can't possibly give you the advice and help you ... | |
| Trying to not get divorced | 9/20/2007 |
| Q: Here's our situation. We are both Christians, me from a very young age, her from about 5 years ago.) ... A: So sorry for all the problems. It's not easy living in strife. If your wife took a look at what ... | |
| boyfriends ex wife | 8/21/2007 |
| Q: I have been in an on/off relationship with a man for 6.5 yrs. A year ago we were living together ... A: I think that this arrangement is not acceptable and if this were me, I would give him a choice. If ... | |
| Somewhat mutual divorce | 8/7/2007 |
| Q: Greetings. My wife and I have been married for just over 4 years now. We met in church and, at the ... A: This situation does not sound like one that is ready to call quits. She may very well be in an ... | |
| getting over the bitterness | 8/5/2007 |
| Q: I am a Christian and was married for 26 years to a Christian man. I have been divorced now for two ... A: I am so sorry for your pain. That must have been very hard to endure. God does make a way out with ... | |
| don't want a divorce | 7/26/2007 |
| Q: My husband left me and asking for a divorce I want my marriage. He's getting ready to retire next ... A: Susan, How do you know what times they talk on the phone...do you get his cell phone bill? It ... | |
| Divorce-Christian- | 7/25/2007 |
| Q: I'm a Christian. I have been separated for 15 years to a man in prison. Lately, he has been ... A: Dina, You are asking me a legal question which I am not qualified to answer and the feedback left ... | |
| Ex wants to travel to Middle East with child | 7/23/2007 |
| Q: my name is Christi Madrid (we are a Christian family)and my husband and I are unsure what to do. His ... A: Dubai is a very peaceful, beautiful place to visit and it is a favorite destination of travelers ... | |
| divorce | 7/23/2007 |
| Q: I am a 30 years old Indian women married since last 8 years. It was all well up to one year of ... A: You are in a very difficult situation and I don't think anyone can give you the answer. You need to ... | |
| emotional divorce | 7/13/2007 |
| Q: Why do some people have long periods of negative feelings toward their former partner and others ... A: I have seen both sexes stay bitter and never move forward and I have seen both pull out of it and ... | |
| divorced and ex wants relationship | 7/7/2007 |
| Q: My ex left me 3 years ago, with the 3rd woman he had cheated on me with. I gave him several ... A: You should most definitely keep a good relationship for the sake of your daughter. But if he wants ... | |
| Ex-wife constantly and consistently late for pick-up | 7/6/2007 |
| Q: My husband and I have a recurring problem with his ex-wife not showing up at the court ordered time ... A: Her behavior is very inconsiderate and immature. I'm sure that a portion of it is on purpose, just ... | |
| Divorse | 7/3/2007 |
| Q: My wife and I are getting a divorce. She filled claiming that i am abusive. I never hit her or ... A: So sorry for your troubles. I would say that you need a really good attorney right now. The fact ... | |
| guilt | 7/3/2007 |
| Q: Two years ago I left my husband of 27 years for another man who I am still with and love dearly. I ... A: Nobody on the outside can understand what you have gone through in your marriage unless they were ... | |
| hubby watching porn | 6/27/2007 |
| Q: My husband & I have been married for almost 13 yrs. We have 4 kids together, & honestly a very ... A: I know how difficult this is for you. I have been through it myself with an ex-husband. ... | |
| I d not want a divorce | 6/15/2007 |
| Q: I have been through one divorce my first husband went to jail for sex offenses. My second husband ... A: I am so sorry for your situation. You say it has been a year and he doesn't want to come back?? You ... | |
| What is Right/new wife or kids | 5/10/2007 |
| Q: I have three daughters from a previous relationship. I was married last year and my new wife is ... A: You are in a really hard spot right now. I am curious why this side of her never came out when you ... | |
| Ex wife's unwillingness | 4/30/2007 |
| Q: Lemler, I am a divorced mom of 3 children and I have been dating a divorced man with 1 son for over ... A: First I need to ask you this: Is there any reason at all why she would not like you, other than ... | |
| Desperate and Terrified | 4/6/2007 |
| Q: At 22 I maried a man I had known for 2 mos. for a multitude of wrong reasons. I was not in love ... A: Right away, I would advise you to stop drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and it really makes people ... | |
| Appealing divorce | 4/6/2007 |
| Q: I am absolutely a Christian - and live every day knowing I am blessed...and am able to survive - ... A: I really can't give you any advice on this because it is legal advice and I don't know the laws in ... | |
| Second Marriage problem | 3/8/2007 |
| Q: if you don't mind I'd like to ask you this last question. I asked my ex- wife to stop calling me ... A: The phone calls should not be a problem from your ex if they are in regards to your daughter. If I ... | |
| Second Marriage problem | 3/8/2007 |
| Q: Did I do the right thing by explaining a bit to my ex-wife that she shouldn't be calling in regards ... A: If you and your ex-wife have a child together and the ex calls you in regards to your daughter, this ... | |
| adultry.... betrayal of the heart vrs. the physical act | 3/6/2007 |
| Q: Lemler. I am a christian man ... who made the mistake of betraying my wife by accessing pornography. ... A: I think you are right when you say that if everyone were to be called on their impure thoughts, we ... | |
| should I leave | 3/4/2007 |
| Q: I have been with my husband for over 10 years married for 3 and have 2 children. I don't know what ... A: I would certainly love to help you and be here for a sounding board. I really need to have more ... | |
| Husband and his kids etc.. | 2/21/2007 |
| Q: This is a mess, but here goes. Please help me make a sound decision. My husband and I have been ... A: You are right...this is a mess! It didn't take me anytime at all while reading your letter to see ... | |
| Advice Please | 2/19/2007 |
| Q: one month ago today my husband walked out on myself and my 3yr old daughter, saying he was not happy ... A: I understand your pain and frustration. My ex-husband did the exact same thing to me, leaving me ... | |
| divorce and drugs | 2/2/2007 |
| Q: I have a job that I think is what I should be doing and I make decent money. The problem is I pay ... A: If you can't move out, then you only have 2 options. You can live there with him, or somehow you ... | |
| divorce and drugs | 2/2/2007 |
| Q: Married 27 years. Youngest child is 18. Owned home for 17 years. He has been on drugs 6 years. ... A: I am so sorry for your suffering. I believe you are doing the right thing. It can be a tricky ... | |
| how do I tell my kids that I am talking to other women? | 1/9/2007 |
| Q: I have been divorced for six months now. My X-wife cheated on me and I was left with three ... A: I was in the same shoes as you, some 16 years ago. I had a 3 year old at the time. I made the choice ... | |
| Divorce Question | 1/6/2007 |
| Q: My wife has filled for divorce. And I do not want the divorce. She has filled for divorce because of ... A: I am so sorry about this. I know the feeling quite well of being served with divorce papers and not ... | |
| Reconciliation | 1/5/2007 |
| Q: Rev. Lemler, Thanks for responding back and asking for more details. I am not sure how to answer ... A: I stand in agreement with you that your marriage be reconciled. You are right to hold sacred your ... | |
| Reconciliation | 1/5/2007 |
| Q: My wife separated 3 months ago. Filed for divorce beginning of December. No children, she is not ... A: Could you tell me more about why she is filing? Tell me more about your mistakes...I need to get ... | |
| filing | 12/29/2006 |
| Q: My partner and I have been together for some time now 3years ago he was supposed to finalize his ... A: If the court house says there was no divorce, then were was no divorce. It sounds to me as if ... | |
| filing | 12/29/2006 |
| Q: He said that they went to court and all was done but never recieved any papers and there isn't any ... A: I am still not clear on what you are asking me. I don't have background information on this whole ... | |
| Controling or not controling | 12/22/2006 |
| Q: my sister is upset with her ex husband and wants advice. Her seven year old son came home from a ... A: You seem very caring. This situation is a tough one, and I have been through similar myself. Your ... | |
Divorce Issues
Answers by Expert:
Pastor Kimberly Lemler
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
I am an Ordained Minister, Bible Teacher, Life Coach and Pastoral Counselor. I have a radio program called God's Healing Power where I teach on various topics, and I also write for 2 columns. Self Help CD's are available on our website. Counseling services are also available.
Outside of AllExperts I can be reached at: www.GodsHealingPower.org
Experience
I can be reached for counseling services through our website, GodsHealingPower.org.
Education/Credentials
Degree in Education. Ordained Minister. Victory Bible Institute. Working on a PhD.
©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.