About Equality in Marriage Institute Expertise As a non profit organization commited to assisting and supporting men and women through their divorce transition, we will answer any questions -from how to get yourself on your feet after being served with divorce papers, questions to ask your lawyer, how to appeal or modify your judgement and the different ways to end your marriage to how to empower and care for yourself, the benefits of joining a support group and how to manage your divorce process. Please note that we are not lawyers, financial advisors or therapists. The information given is intended to provide you with direction towards resources, websites, and answers that can help you through your transition.
Experience We have experience answering hundreds of questions from both men and women who are going through the divorce process.
Divorce Issues - wife w/ higher income - spousal support?
Expert: Equality in Marriage Institute - 4/22/2005
Question I live in Maryland, have been married for 5 1/2 years and want a divorce. I made almost 3x more than my husband last year. ( $125,000 vs $45,000)Maryland is not a 50/50 state until you are married for 10 years. What are the chances that I will have to pay alimony? I have documentation of his high spending ( many times he spent more than he brought in . He has maxed out his tax deferred for the past 5 years and I have maxed out my 401K. Can he come after my 401K? Would we both benefit more by not touching each other's tax deferred/401k? I have not filed for divorce yet . . . what do you recommend I do to protect myself?
Answer Dear Shelly,
One of the best steps you can take to protect yourself is to educate yourself on your state laws surrounding divorce (divorcecource.com) and collect as much financial and legal paperwork as possible.
Often a divorce can be settled out of court as long as both parties are able to compromise and be "fair". This saves money on lawyers fees and speeds the divorce. Some people use mediation, arbitration or collaborative law (equalityinmarriage.org) to end their marriages. If you are unable to come to an agreement on how to handle assets and such you are then left with going to court and having a judge decide.
Unfortunately, I am not a lawyer so I cannot say whether or not you should delveinto teh 40-1K/ tax deferrment area. You should probably speak with a financial expert about it.
Generally in a marriage you are legally and financially responsible for one another- with this being said you the amount, if any you decide to pay your sposue after divorce is entirely up to you UNLESS you go to court and then a judge will decide if your ex should be given any support.
I recommend that you speak with an attorney about what their experience has been when it comes to paying alimony after 5 years of marriage where the other spouse is employed.
Some other sites to check out are: womandivorce.com, aaml.org and divorceinfo.com
