Domestic Violence - Marriage - People/Relationships

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About Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
(Top Expert on this page)

Expertise
I was able to live through the horror of being victimized on many occasions while enduring several abusive and unhealthy relationships and experiencing domestic violence. At one point in my life, I thought that I had to accept the way that men treated me when they treated me as though I was sewer garbage, but I learned that I do NOT have to accept and tolerate being treated like that and now I know better. I feel that it really takes someone who has been abused to really understand what women in similar situations go through. I have experienced unstable relationships that involved various forms of abuse. I once felt as if there was no way out, but there is. I did not think that I could make it, but I did. I did not think that I could be strong, but I was, and I always will be. There were times when I was constantly being put down by others and had very low self-esteem. It is not okay for men to use and abuse women, and now that I know that, it will never happen to me again. I had to get away from the horrors of being abused. I wanted my life to be positive, and now it seems to be. I still have days when I think about what I have been through and I feel melancholy, but I know that I am okay now. I know now that I am strong and that I can make it through anything. I no longer allow people to disrespect and mistreat me; that does not sit well with me now. My standards of how I should be treated are much higher than they used to be. I am here to offer my expert advice to women who have experienced domestic violence and other forms of abuse throughout relationships. People only treat us how we allow them to; self-respect and a healthy self-esteem are crucial to our overall development. Remember, there is hope, so do not give up on yourself. BE CONFIDENT and BE STRONG.

Experience
I am no longer ashamed to share my views and personal stories on how I survived domestic violence. I persevered through so many negative situations in my life, including abusive relationships, by having faith. I learned a long time ago that life is not fair, and there is nothing that anyone can do about that; we only have one life, so therefore we need to live it the best way that we know how. If people only realized how little time we do actually have here on this Earth, many people would not take so many things for granted. Tomorrow is not promised, but I know that if I stay on the right path towards life, everything will turn out okay. I have a more positive outlook on life and I look forward to so many good things that are destined to come my way. Some of my credentials and greatest accomplishments are throughout Dance and Music. For almost ten years I was a classical dancer. I excelled in Ballet, Jazz, and Pointe, but Ballet is my first love and always will be. I received awards, trophies, and numerous certificates throughout my years in dance. I also used to participate in an Orchestra where I played the violin. I received many certificates, awards, and medals throughout my time playing. I have also made The National Dean's List for the year's 2001-2002, and 2002-2003; as well as The National Scholars Honor Society in 2003. Not only that, I have volunteered with the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.

Organizations
American Psychological Association—APA; American Psychology-Law Society—AP-LS; House Rabbit Society—HRS; International Association for Correctional and Forensic Psychology—IACFP; National Coalition Against Domestic Violence—NCADV; North Georgia House Rabbit Society—NGHR

Education/Credentials
Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology, Concentration: Psychology Applied to the Workplace, Walden University, Expected: 2010

Awards and Honors
Hope Scholarship Recipient, 2005; The National Scholar's Honor Society, Inducted 2003; National Dean's List, 2001-2002; 2003-2004; Georgia Music Educator's Association, Band-Orchestra, 1991-1992; 1992-1993; Conference Presenter-Clayton State University and The National Archives' Civic Engagement Student Research Conference, Title of Presentation: "North to the Future: The Candidates, Highlights, Factors, and Essential Outcome of the 2008 Alaska U.S. Senate Race"

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > Domestic Violence

Subject	Date Asked	Expert

My boyfriend is mistreating me, should I leave him?	1/30/2010	Dianne Schwartz
Q: When in high school I decided to go out with someone and we have been together for about 4 years. He ... A: I don't feel that the two of you are good together. You can't control or try to change another ...
foster home abuse	1/25/2010	Susan Blocker
Q: I am 31 years old and i was the abused child i kept it quiet out of shame.My foster father beat and ... A: I appreciate your inquiry. I am sorry for the emotional stress that you have been experiencing due ...
Domestic Violence and the aftremath	1/23/2010	Laura Giles
Q: My name is Angel and I am a 27 year old female. I was in a 5month relationship with my fiance. HE ... A: You are in a typical domestic violence relationship. Violence escalates when there is a pregnancy. ...
Sister is victim of domestic abuse and police are not interested...	1/20/2010	Dianne Schwartz
Q: I'm 34 and my sister's 29. We're from Yorkshire in the United Kingdom. Recently she told me she'd ... A: I've had other women from the UK complain about the laws regarding domestic violence. I'm going to ...
Help	1/18/2010	Dianne Schwartz
Q: I have been living with a man for 3 years. I have phyiscal and mental disorders. However, I am ... A: Call your local shelter for battered women and see what resources they can give you. They are ...
scared and confused	1/15/2010	Susan Blocker
Q: I have been married for almost 14 years, have 2 amazing and wonderful boys and love my husband, but ... A: I appreciate your inquiry and I do hope that you and your children are safe an well. NO, you are not ...
I'm Not Sure If It Is Abuse???	1/14/2010	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: Good Morning. My husband and I have been married for seven years. We have two daughters that are ... A: I was so glad to hear from you again!! There are some questioners that I have that just stay on my ...
Am I crazy or is this real?	1/13/2010	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: I have been married to my husband for 3.5 years. It seems to me he is abusive in is talking and ... A: You actually posed a good question. The way that your husband is acting is often how a lot of abuse ...
What do I do now?	1/9/2010	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: I am hoping to get some help from what happened last night with my husband but it was also a result ... A: You know, a lot of women that contact me already know what they should do in their relationships, ...
i need some help	1/6/2010	Susan Blocker
Q: ok so i was in an abusive relationship with a boyfriend (with whom i lived) for a little under a ... A: I hope that you are doing well this day. I am sorry for the abuse that you suffered at the hands of ...
I'm Not Sure If It Is Abuse???	1/4/2010	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: Good Morning. My husband and I have been married for seven years. We have two daughters that are ... A: I apologize for the delay in my response to you. Your question does not warrant a difficult answer ...
Spousal Abuse	12/29/2009	Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, LPC, CRC, CNHP
Q: My husband & I have been married for 10 years & have 3 small girls.Thru the years he has pushed me ... A: ...I can hear that you are trying to do the right thing and I hope that what I am able to say to you ...
im suicidal, my husband says he doesnt love me. please help?	12/22/2009	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: im 24,my husband is 30 together nearly 4 years, married 8 months when he gets angry he calls me b i ... A: First, I must tell you that suicide is never the answer for any problem, yes life can be bleak and ...
Will he ever change? Should I leave him?	12/21/2009	Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, LPC, CRC, CNHP
Q: I have been with my husband for 6 years, marrying in June 09. We have lived together for 5 years and ... A: I can respect that decision, although you are right, I do believe he is copping out. Anger ...
Abusive Parents - Psych - Huck Finn rewrite	12/21/2009	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: My name's Samantha R.S. and for an english assignment our class had to write a modern day version of ... A: Actually, your questions vary because every individual responds to situations differently. But from ...
Will he ever change? Should I leave him?	12/20/2009	Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, LPC, CRC, CNHP
Q: I have been with my husband for 6 years, marrying in June 09. We have lived together for 5 years and ... A: You ask a very good and insightful question. Obviously, every person is unique in the way that they ...
communication	12/19/2009	Susan Blocker
Q: how do i have a discussion or ask a question without husband becoming agitated and violent? what is ... A: I appreciate your inquiry. Hmmmmmm unfortunately your question is kind of difficult to answer in a ...
DV	12/13/2009	Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, LPC, CRC, CNHP
Q: I have been with my bf for 7 yrs. in the first 3 months he tried to strangle me in a drunken rage. ... A: In answer to your question, counseling would be an option. From what it sounds like, alcohol is ...
physicial abusive husband	12/7/2009	Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, LPC, CRC, CNHP
Q: When the husband is physically abusive when in an anger rage, can this person change and not abuse ... A: In answer to your question, the short answer is no. Men who behave like this usually have some kind ...
Abusive Husband	11/25/2009	Tonya Genison Prince
Q: I am a happy person. I wake up happy. My husband wakes up in a bad mood, 6 days out of the week. ... A: It sounds like your husband might be exhibiting some behaviors that are abusive. Put downs, ...
Violent Husband	11/23/2009	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: I have been with my husband since 1999, we had a daughter in 2000 and I got pregnant with my son and ... A: Marisol (love your name!!) Hi and how are you? I can just about imagine that you have had better ...
Domestic Violence	11/21/2009	Tonya Genison Prince
Q: I have a question about domestic violence. I am not really sure where to start because this is very ... A: I’m sorry to hear about your situation but I am glad to see that you are seeking help. There are ...
Is this emotional abuse?	11/19/2009	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: I have been married 8 years. At first he was funny, charming, would go out of his way to do ... A: Anne, Hi, how are you? Yes, you are being abused emotionally. Many people try to downplay ...
Emotionally Abused with Toddler in Home	11/19/2009	Laura Giles
Q: I am young and scared. I am 22 years old and a mother of a 12 month old beautiful baby girl. I have ... A: First of all, you HAVE TO tell your parents how he treats you. The silence is what allows the abuse ...
parenting after domestic violence	11/15/2009	Tonya Genison Prince
Q: My 15 year old daughter and I are now in the process of divorce after leaving an abusive 22 year old ... A: Greetings, I am very sorry that you and your daughter are having to go through this struggle. You ...
Can we get through this.	11/14/2009	Susan Blocker
Q: Here is my situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years, we now have a 2 1/2 ... A: I appreciate your inquiry and I am so sorry for the pain that you are enduring at the hands of your ...
Crazy for even thinking I could save my abusive relationship?	11/14/2009	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: I'm a 27 yr old mom of 3. I just left my abusive relationship of 2 and 1/2 yrs a couple days ago. ... A: I can tell from your question to me that you obviously have low self-esteem and such a low regard ...
Domestic Violence	11/13/2009	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: My situation is this: married for 16 years, three kids together. I the stay at home Mom. He abused ... A: Your situation pertains to the legal side of things from this point on. You stated that you were ...
What to do with a daughter?	11/13/2009	Dianne Schwartz
Q: My wife and I feel stuck in a situation and have no idea where or how to move forward. Our daughter ... A: I understand your worry and frustration and rather than give all the advice I have in my book as my ...
Domestic Violence	11/13/2009	Susan Blocker
Q: My wife and I are dealing with a situation that has grown to the point that we no longer know what ... A: I thank you for your inquiry. I understand your concern for the safety of your daughter. What can ...
verbal abuse of 13 year old by father	11/7/2009	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: I have been divorced from an abusive husband for 11 years. He has primary custody of my daughter. He ... A: Rebecca, It is unfortunate that your daughter is experiencing abuse from her father. I think ...
Physically abusive sibling who's out of control	11/6/2009	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: My brother for the past 5 years since released from prison has been hitting me and disrespecting me, ... A: Tolerating abuse from anyone is, just in plain words: "not cool." Your brother is abusing you and I ...
domestic assult	11/5/2009	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: I am going through hell right now. I have known my husnand for 25 years and we have been married for ... A: I guess my first question to you is why? Why are tolerating abuse from your husband and trying to ...
my husband doesnt respect me & treat me as i am no one to him!	11/5/2009	Susan Blocker
Q: my husband hide many of his family matters from me.treat me as i am an outsider. when i am at my ... A: I am sorry for the problems you have experienced within your home. I imagine that you do love your ...
Will I lose the kids if I report? need help	11/2/2009	Susan Blocker
Q: I need help and stumbled across this forum. My husband and I have been best friends since ... A: I thank you for your inquiry and I am sorry for your pain and suffering. I'd like to first start of ...
Will I lose the kids if I report? need help	11/2/2009	Dianne Schwartz
Q: I need help and stumbled across this forum. My husband and I have been best friends since ... A: Jess, He isn't going to change. All abusers blame their victims or are defending themselves. His ...
Will I lose the kids if I report? Is there another way?	11/2/2009	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Q: I need help and stumbled across this forum. My husband and I have been best friends since ... A: My biggest concern from reading your question to me is that you are considering staying in a ...
Need help. Will I lose the kids if I report? Is there another way?	11/2/2009	Laura Giles
Q: I need help and stumbled across this forum. My husband and I have been best friends since ... A: I want you to go back and read what you just sent me and ask yourself if this sounds like a rational ...
Abused... don't know what to do- will I lose the kids?	11/2/2009	Tonya Genison Prince
Q: I need help and stumbled across this forum. My husband and I have been best friends since ... A: You are so brave to reach out like this. I am saddened to hear about what you are enduring. First ...
Starting Domestic Violence for Women Group	10/23/2009	Annie Kaszina
Q: I'm an Expressive Arts Therapy Clinical Trainee co-facilitating a DV group for women in November. ... A: First let me say that I have seen therapists who work through art do extremely effective work, ...

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Questions by
Active Experts:

Sharman Castillo	Annie Kaszina	Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
Tonya Genison Prince	Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, LPC, CRC, CNHP	Dianne Schwartz
Laura Giles	Susan Blocker

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