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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > Domestic Violence > violence
Expert: Sharman Castillo
Date: 1/12/2008
Subject: violence
Question
When I was married 30 years ago my husband abused me and I took it for 5 years. I filed for divorce and then we reconciled for some crazy reason, and it was because he promised not to do it again and admitted he was wrong. I pleaded with my parents to let me try and work it out as they were angry and didn't want me to go back. He was okay for awhile and then started again. He even choked me in front of his family in their living room, because he was arguing with his parents and I told him not to answer his parents that way. When we went home his father followed us home, and was outside. My husband beat me so bad. I have stayed with him 30 years and don't know how I did it, like people say. My parents didn't know that he started beating me again. I am diabetic, and he is very mean to me. My parents passed on, and left me the house, and I was nice enough to put his name on the house. I am now having problems and can't take it anymore. My house where were living had a fire and we had to move in my mother's house and he wants to be boss of this one. He went in the hospital for a couple of weeks, and he is now giving me trouble saying he is leaving in 6 months when the burnt house is renovated. I want out now, and want to be left alone. When he was in the hospital there was a discussion about the house and stuff and his mother and aunt who live together called me a liar about that he beat me up. He even lied to his family and doesn't admit it, and I am looking like a fool. I swear in my mother and father that he did, and he calls me a liar. I really need help with this as I am at the end of my rope. He wants to have his mother move in the burnt house. I want to stay in my mothers house. He can have the other house as I have no kids and can't leave it to anyone anyway. How much could I have. Mary
Answer
Dear Mary,
I feel so bad for you, 30 years is too long for anyone to be abused. I hope you get out as well, I praise God that you are still alive. I agree, just walk away from this, you are a strong woman, you can definitely walk away because you have done it in the past. I wont even address his family, it doesn't matter, what matters is that you get safe. Put him out, let him go and stay with his own family and stop allowing this person to victimize you. I know the house thing is an issue but you don't have to allow him to stay there, get help from your local police department or support group. If you will write me with your city and state, I will look up groups for you, my name is Sharman Castillo and my e-mail is, sharmancastillo@hotmail.com, please contact me and I am so sorry I took so long to get back to you but I fly alot and this is the best time for me to get back to you.
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