AboutSharman Castillo Expertise I can answer questions on mental abuse and physical abuse. I can answer questions on sexual abuse for adult women. I can not answer questions on sexual abuse for children because I have never experienced that personally.
Experience I was in an abusive situation twice. Once for 1-year and 6 months. The other for 2-years and 3 months. I know the cycle of being abused by the abuser and then believeing he will change. Forgiving him or her and then starting over again, with the same abuse.
Expert: Sharman Castillo Date: 2/27/2008 Subject: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND CHEATING
Question I've been in a relationship for 10 years and we have had more than a few bouts. This time it ended with my son getting bit and my finding out that he had been cheating on me. My exboyfriend is disabled and he has very low self esteem. That's not an excuse for what he has done to me and my children, but why does he need to make me feel at fault for everything that has occurred in our relationship. I don't know why he is so sorry now, or why he regrets having a relationship with someone else. It just makes me very angry. I work hard and I put my everything into making our lives comfortable and I get crap in return. What have I done so wrong in my life to have to go through all these changes? There was an incident that occurred 2 years ago. I was conversation with someone else and he found out about it. He fought me and i left for 2 weeks. When we got back together I heard this occurence over and over again. After a while it stopped, and I thought we were okay. Then this happened and he says he did it because I cheated on him. I didn't get mad and fight I put him out. Now I have doubts about everything. Was it my fault? Did I hurt him so badly that I drove him to cheating? I know that his abuse is the cause of trying to be controlling and put fear in my heart so I will feel needy for him. Will I be able to submit myself to god and let him lead me and my children's lives to peace? What does it take.
Answer No none of this is your fault, if he cheated then he chose to and no it is not your fault period, it is his, and it make me angry also when someone does the wrong thing and then trys to make it seem like you caused them to fall, when he makes you mad do you fall into some other mans arms, no, so don't put up with it. Let me tell you something about God, He is good period and it is not a matter of will you be able to submit to him, it is a matter of you just should because His goal is not to hurt or harm you, but to bless you and give you and your children a hope and a future. I believe you know the right path, the hard part is just doing it, but I believe in you or you would not have written. I pray God will give you the strength to move out of your comfort zone and to begin again, please tell me how it goes... Sharman
