AboutChardonnay Nicole Thomas Expertise I am someone who is highly experienced in the fields of Domestic Violence and Abusive
Relationships. I have been in my share of abusive relationships and I have also studied this field. I feel that it really takes someone who has been there and been abused to really understand what other women go through. I have been in unstable relationships that involved physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse. At that time, I felt as if there was no way out, but there is. I didn't think that I could make it, but I did, I didn't think that I could be strong, but I was. There were times when I was constantly being put down and my self-esteem was lowered. I know that you do not have a good feeling about yourself when someone who claims to love and care about you tells you that you are worth nothing and will never be anything out of life. I had to get away from that. I wanted my life to be positive, and now it seems to be. I still have days when I think about what I've been through and I feel melancholy, but I know that I'm okay now. I know now that I am strong and that I can make it through anything. I no longer allow people to disrespect and mistreat me, that doesn't sit well with me now. My standards of how I should be treated are much higher than they used to be. I feel that women especially, should always aim for the best, and never, ever settle for less than you deserve, because if you do, then you get what you settle for. I'm here to offer my expert advice to women who have experienced domestic violence and other forms of abuse throughout relationships. Remember, there is hope, so don't give up on yourself;
BE CONFIDENT and BE STRONG.
Experience I have been in several abusive and unhealthy relationships that have given me the life experience that I have today. I am no longer ashamed to share my views and personal stories on how I survived domestic violence. I persevered through so many negative situations in my life, including abusive relationships, by having faith, and using the strength that God gave me. I learned a long time ago that life is not fair, and there is nothing that anyone can do about that; but we only have one life, so therefore we need to live it the best way that we know how. If people only realized how little time we do actually have here on this Earth, many people would not take so many things for granted. Tomorrow is not promised, but I know that if I stay on the right path towards life, everything will turn out okay. When I look back on my past, it's the good things that give me a more positive outlook on life; different times in my life where I was doing different things/activities. Some of my credentials and greatest accomplishments are throughout Dance and Music. For almost ten years I was a classical dancer. I excelled in Ballet, Jazz, and Pointe, but Ballet is my first love and always will be. I received awards, trophies, and numerous certificates throughout my years in dance. I also used to participate in an Orchestra where I played the violin. I received many certificates, awards, and medals throughout my time playing. I have also made The National Dean's List for the year's 2001-2002, and 2002-2003; as well as The National Scholars Honor Society in 2003. Not only that, I have volunteered with the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.
Question I've a friend who has a history with abusive relationships. Her current boy friend is very controlling. She mentioned that she can talk to no one but her daughter: her friends are now his and her old friends (including myself) don't understand him. He has been physical once. She was black and blue for 2 weeks. She also once told me that he had a terrible childhood where he was regularly abused by his mother.
He has been becoming confrontational verging on physical with me but to little success; however I find it uncomfortable. It has gotten to the point where I feel it best to avoid her, but I feel as though I am abandoning her and increasing his power over her.
What do you recommend, keeping in mind that she is unwilling to leave the situation.
Answer George,
Hello and thank you for contacting me; I apologize for the delay in my responding to you. In regards to your situation, there really is nothing that you can do to help someone who does not want to be helped. You can choose to end your friendship with her or you can choose to be there for her. I understand that you are frustrated with her being in such a bad situation, but she has made the choice to stay with someone who may end up killing her. A true friend does not just give up on another, however not all friendships are not meant to last, either. This is a choice that only you can make. Yes, your friend should get out of the situation before she ends up brutally hurt or even worse, dead, but you did not make this choice for her, you can either have patience with her or you can both go your separate ways. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that things work out best for you. Take care.
All My Best,
Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
AllExperts.com
"Strong people cannot be defeated."
-Danielle Steel
