AboutChardonnay Nicole Thomas Expertise I am someone who is highly experienced in the fields of Domestic Violence and Abusive
Relationships. I have been in my share of abusive relationships and I have also studied this field. I feel that it really takes someone who has been there and been abused to really understand what other women go through. I have been in unstable relationships that involved physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse. At that time, I felt as if there was no way out, but there is. I didn't think that I could make it, but I did, I didn't think that I could be strong, but I was. There were times when I was constantly being put down and my self-esteem was lowered. I know that you do not have a good feeling about yourself when someone who claims to love and care about you tells you that you are worth nothing and will never be anything out of life. I had to get away from that. I wanted my life to be positive, and now it seems to be. I still have days when I think about what I've been through and I feel melancholy, but I know that I'm okay now. I know now that I am strong and that I can make it through anything. I no longer allow people to disrespect and mistreat me, that doesn't sit well with me now. My standards of how I should be treated are much higher than they used to be. I feel that women especially, should always aim for the best, and never, ever settle for less than you deserve, because if you do, then you get what you settle for. I'm here to offer my expert advice to women who have experienced domestic violence and other forms of abuse throughout relationships. Remember, there is hope, so don't give up on yourself;
BE CONFIDENT and BE STRONG.
Experience I have been in several abusive and unhealthy relationships that have given me the life experience that I have today. I am no longer ashamed to share my views and personal stories on how I survived domestic violence. I persevered through so many negative situations in my life, including abusive relationships, by having faith, and using the strength that God gave me. I learned a long time ago that life is not fair, and there is nothing that anyone can do about that; but we only have one life, so therefore we need to live it the best way that we know how. If people only realized how little time we do actually have here on this Earth, many people would not take so many things for granted. Tomorrow is not promised, but I know that if I stay on the right path towards life, everything will turn out okay. When I look back on my past, it's the good things that give me a more positive outlook on life; different times in my life where I was doing different things/activities. Some of my credentials and greatest accomplishments are throughout Dance and Music. For almost ten years I was a classical dancer. I excelled in Ballet, Jazz, and Pointe, but Ballet is my first love and always will be. I received awards, trophies, and numerous certificates throughout my years in dance. I also used to participate in an Orchestra where I played the violin. I received many certificates, awards, and medals throughout my time playing. I have also made The National Dean's List for the year's 2001-2002, and 2002-2003; as well as The National Scholars Honor Society in 2003. Not only that, I have volunteered with the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.
Question i was just recently assaulted by my boyfriend, but he was trying to be careful enough to not leave any marks on my body and he would verbally tell me that he was not going to hit me so that he could not leave any marks on me. What he would do is grab my risks and tried to choke me a couple of times, he also pulled my hair and slammed me around here and there. My question is that if I had called the cops on him I believe 2 times already do you think his sentence might not be as minimal as other times? also do you think it's easier for me to file for full custody of both of my kids and file a no contact protection order for both of my kids and myself?
Answer Natalie,
Hello and thank you for contacting me; I apologize for the delay in my response. I love your name by the way, it's beautiful! Anyhow, you are in a situation where only you can make the best decision. It does not matter how someone assaulted you or why, it's just wrong, period. He is abusive and he needs to be punished so that he can learn that assaulting someone will not get him far, God forbid he seriously hurts you. If you feel that he is very dangerous and you are that afraid of him, then yes you can file a protection order so that he can have less of a chance of coming near you and your children. If he is physically abusing you sweetie, he belongs in prison, but if you choose to not have him arrested and prosecuted, then that is your personal decision. I cannot tell you how to run your life, but my advice to you and anyone else who may be in a similar situation is that if someone is abusing you, you leave. I went through what you are experiencing, but I was physically beaten in my face and on other areas of my body over months and months of a time interval, I hate thinking about it sometimes, but it happened and I have moved on with my life. I still have emotional issues, but that's life. My life will never be perfect no matter how much I may want it to be so. I have overcome so much adversity and I have come too far to go back to that place in my life where I let men treat me like s%$*. I am a strong person and so are you; you have strength Natalie, but you have to find it. Listen to your heart and make the best decisions for you and your children. I wish you well in everything. Take care.
All My Best,
Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
AllExperts.com
"Strong people cannot be defeated."
-Danielle Steel
