AboutChardonnay Nicole Thomas Expertise I am someone who is highly experienced in the fields of Domestic Violence and Abusive
Relationships. I have been in my share of abusive relationships and I have also studied this field. I feel that it really takes someone who has been there and been abused to really understand what other women go through. I have been in unstable relationships that involved physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse. At that time, I felt as if there was no way out, but there is. I didn't think that I could make it, but I did, I didn't think that I could be strong, but I was. There were times when I was constantly being put down and my self-esteem was lowered. I know that you do not have a good feeling about yourself when someone who claims to love and care about you tells you that you are worth nothing and will never be anything out of life. I had to get away from that. I wanted my life to be positive, and now it seems to be. I still have days when I think about what I've been through and I feel melancholy, but I know that I'm okay now. I know now that I am strong and that I can make it through anything. I no longer allow people to disrespect and mistreat me, that doesn't sit well with me now. My standards of how I should be treated are much higher than they used to be. I feel that women especially, should always aim for the best, and never, ever settle for less than you deserve, because if you do, then you get what you settle for. I'm here to offer my expert advice to women who have experienced domestic violence and other forms of abuse throughout relationships. Remember, there is hope, so don't give up on yourself;
BE CONFIDENT and BE STRONG.
Experience I have been in several abusive and unhealthy relationships that have given me the life experience that I have today. I am no longer ashamed to share my views and personal stories on how I survived domestic violence. I persevered through so many negative situations in my life, including abusive relationships, by having faith, and using the strength that God gave me. I learned a long time ago that life is not fair, and there is nothing that anyone can do about that; but we only have one life, so therefore we need to live it the best way that we know how. If people only realized how little time we do actually have here on this Earth, many people would not take so many things for granted. Tomorrow is not promised, but I know that if I stay on the right path towards life, everything will turn out okay. When I look back on my past, it's the good things that give me a more positive outlook on life; different times in my life where I was doing different things/activities. Some of my credentials and greatest accomplishments are throughout Dance and Music. For almost ten years I was a classical dancer. I excelled in Ballet, Jazz, and Pointe, but Ballet is my first love and always will be. I received awards, trophies, and numerous certificates throughout my years in dance. I also used to participate in an Orchestra where I played the violin. I received many certificates, awards, and medals throughout my time playing. I have also made The National Dean's List for the year's 2001-2002, and 2002-2003; as well as The National Scholars Honor Society in 2003. Not only that, I have volunteered with the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.
Question Im thinking my boyfriend has a problem. Im going to list some of his behavior and actions.
1. When im going out he will leave hickies on me so if im with anyone else they will see them if they take my clothes off.
2. I tell him I love him and thats never enough. He needs more.
3. Says he shows his affection with his mouth and lips.
4. Has head butt me to get my attention. Left bruise
5. Some other male called my cell phone. He was mad at bit me so hard it left a really bad bruise.
6. When we go out he makes me lead and has his hand around the back of my neck so if i look somewhere i shouldn't he squeezes my neck.
7. If I don't hug him he will take one physically.
8. He'll leave bruises on my arms when huging me.
please help
Answer Jill,
Hello again. I am currently taking some personal time away from AllExperts and I do apologize for any inconvenience for my not getting back with you.
If you are recognizing that your boyfriend is displaying unusual behavior, then he is the one that you need to be talking with. If it were me, I would not be talking, I would be walking out of the door to find something better to do. Honey listen, do not waste your life and time trying to get someone to act in the way that you think is just. You cannot save the universe. Just leave and focus on yourself because obviously if you have attracted someone who acts like this then that says that you have some things about yourself that need to be worked on. Have you considered that? It is not always solely the other person fault when things go wrong; often, it takes two. Seek help and maybe when the time is right, you will attract the right person if a permanent relationship is something that you seek in the future. But for now, leave this relationship before things get worse, and I promise you that they will. I have been there and done that and I love myself too much to settle ever again. Take care darling.
All My Best,
Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
AllExperts.com
"Strong people cannot be defeated."
~Danielle Steel
