AboutSusan Blocker Expertise My name is Susan Blocker. I am 45 years old, born with a physical disabillity I am SURVIVOR of Physical, Sexual, Verbal, Emotional and Economical abuse. During the past 11 years via my website "Climbing Out Of The Spiral" I have provided a myriad of online support and counseling services to survivors and victims of abuse worldwide.
My knowledge stems from my own personal experiences with childhood abuse and domestic violence. Through my own experience with abuse I've learned many valuable lessons that I am able to pass on to those in need of guidance and support, so that they may begin their "Climb Out Of The Spiral".
Experience My greatest accomplishment is surviving thirty years of abuse and having the strength to uphold my emotional fortitude so that I can pass my experience on to other survivors of abuse. I am creative founder of a website dedicated to promoting abuse awareness and prevention. Climbing Out Of The Spiral has provided abuse support and counseling services to victims and survivors of abuse world wide since December 7, 1996. Climbing Out Of The Spiral is my most precious achievement.
Expert: Susan Blocker Date: 7/23/2008 Subject: Can he change?
Question I've been married to my husband for five and a half years. And for the first five years everything was fine between us. He never laid a hand on me. Then four months ago his kids from his first marriage moved in with us. Since then we constantly fight about his kids. They came to live with us because they are out of control. In three of the fights my husband has hurt me. He threw me against the wall, tried choking me and ended up busting my mouth, then this week he really knocked me around.
I love my husband. Everyone tells me to leave and I understand why but I find it hard to turn my back on five great years. He blames all the fights on me. And I know I'm not innocent but I'm the only one who came out of it physically hurt.
Should I suggest counciling or should I do as everyone says and leave? I don't know what would be worse, the pain of him hitting me or the pain of living alone, lonely and without love.
Answer Hello Ann:
I thank you for your inquiry. Now I will not suggest to you that you should leave your husband because that is a personal decision that only YOU should decide.
I so believe your husband is abusing you physically and his abuse towards you should NOT be taken lightly. First of all YOU are Not to blame for his abuse towards you. Regardless of what may be going on in ones household abuse is NOT an acceptable solution and should NOT be tolerated at all. No one has a right to abuse another person.
integrating children into a new family situation can be quite stressful and turn a household upside down, especially when the children have behavorial problems.
YES counseling might be a positive suggestion and a step towards in the right direction. If the abuse continues to protect yourself YOU may have to make the decision on taking further action against your husband, which may one day include calling the police and obtaining a court appointed restraining order.
YOU would have to decide what is more important to you your saving your LIFE or living alone and dealing with mending a broken heart? In time broken hearts heal and new companions may enter into your LIFE. Keep in mind Ann you only have ONE LIFE Do Not risk losing your LIFE at the hands of an abuser. The choice is yours.
For additional support I urge you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) This organization will provide you with additional support services and resources that may be useful to you.
