| |
You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > Domestic Violence > stress / lonliness / grief
Expert: Dianne Schwartz - 10/20/2009
Question
What are some hints as to how a survivor of domestic violence can deal with stress and loneliness while trying to put her life back together - dealing with child protective services, loss of home and income, civil (custody) and criminal court (abuser) and very little money and supports? Phew!!
Answer
Hi Penni,
It's tough, isn't it?
Find a local support group (call your local shelter for battered women) and you'll see there are other women who are in the same boat and completely understand. But, be careful being around women who only want to talk about their abuser and what he did to them or it will pull you down mentally. Some women get stuck in that mode and never come out of it!
Stay busy. Find activities that don't cost money. I used to find different parks and take my son walking or we'd have a picnic. I went to the book store and just wandered around, checking out different books. We went to discount movies, we went for drives and saw areas we'd never seen before that were close to town.
I found a spiritual group that met once a week to discuss books we were reading. Church seemed to bring out that "family being together" thing and made me depressed. Now, I understand that seeing couples together means nothing because there are a lot of hidden secrets between married people. I had pretended too.
Time spent alone can be your enemy until you pass this phase so get out of the house, even if it's to go to the library. Just don't stay home a lot. And, reading books helped me a lot. Not books just about abuse but about healing from abuse.
Hang in there. You can do this. Remember--it took a lot more energy to be in an abusive relationship that it does to heal from one. You sound like a strong woman so continue on your path of healing. God's speed.
Dianne
Add to this Answer Ask a Question
|
|
