AboutLaura Giles Expertise I can answer questions related to filing charges, support groups, leaving, safety planning, getting a protective order, getting counseling, or staying.
Experience I worked as a domestic violence advocate in the court system. I am also a counselor.
Education/Credentials B.S. Human Services Counseling
Master of Social Work
Question My husband and I have been together for 13 years. we have two children they are 10 and 7. I have been with him since I was 17. I am now 29. He is 46. He treats me like a kid. I am so confused all the time. i never now what to do. Because if I do something I am going to get in trouble. If don't do it I will get in trouble. It is crazy and I can not take it. I want to leave but do not know how. I am a stay at home mom and have no means to get any money. I have just realized in the past 3 years that I have become a victim of mental abuse. If I do not get out soon I am afraid I will have a break down. My town shelters do not take women unless they are beaten at the time. I have somewhere I could go but want to know if I can take my kids out of state and file for divorce in another state and get custody of my kids. He says if I leave I will never get them. I have to get them out because I am afraid that as they get older he will mentally abuse them too. i don't even think he realizes what he is doing. I tell him but of course I am always wrong in everything. I just want to be right at least once. Please Help Me Somehow
Answer Hello Carissa,
My advice is to speak to your local domestic violence advocate to create a safety plan and a plan of escape. I agree that you should get out while you can. Leaving can be very dangerous though, so be sure to get some help in planning.
Yes, you can take your kids wherever you want to. You will have to speak to a lawyer about the legal aspects of custody for the state you travel to, but my understanding is that as long as neither of you have been awarded custody, you each have equal rights to your kids. So, you may want to keep your location secret until you have been there long enough for you to file for custody there. (This is a jurisdictional issue. If you flee to a new area, that court may give jurisdiction to the old place of residence meaning you will have to travel back there for any court hearings). Check with an attorney and a local domestic violence advocate for information that is accurate for your area. An advocate can also provide you with emotional support during this time.
