AboutChardonnay Nicole Thomas Expertise I am someone who is highly experienced in the fields of Domestic Violence and Abusive
Relationships. I have been in my share of abusive relationships and I have also studied this field. I feel that it really takes someone who has been there and been abused to really understand what other women go through. I have been in unstable relationships that involved physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse. At that time, I felt as if there was no way out, but there is. I didn't think that I could make it, but I did, I didn't think that I could be strong, but I was. There were times when I was constantly being put down and my self-esteem was lowered. I know that you do not have a good feeling about yourself when someone who claims to love and care about you tells you that you are worth nothing and will never be anything out of life. I had to get away from that. I wanted my life to be positive, and now it seems to be. I still have days when I think about what I've been through and I feel melancholy, but I know that I'm okay now. I know now that I am strong and that I can make it through anything. I no longer allow people to disrespect and mistreat me, that doesn't sit well with me now. My standards of how I should be treated are much higher than they used to be. I feel that women especially, should always aim for the best, and never, ever settle for less than you deserve, because if you do, then you get what you settle for. I'm here to offer my expert advice to women who have experienced domestic violence and other forms of abuse throughout relationships. Remember, there is hope, so don't give up on yourself;
BE CONFIDENT and BE STRONG.
Experience I have been in several abusive and unhealthy relationships that have given me the life experience that I have today. I am no longer ashamed to share my views and personal stories on how I survived domestic violence. I persevered through so many negative situations in my life, including abusive relationships, by having faith, and using the strength that God gave me. I learned a long time ago that life is not fair, and there is nothing that anyone can do about that; but we only have one life, so therefore we need to live it the best way that we know how. If people only realized how little time we do actually have here on this Earth, many people would not take so many things for granted. Tomorrow is not promised, but I know that if I stay on the right path towards life, everything will turn out okay. When I look back on my past, it's the good things that give me a more positive outlook on life; different times in my life where I was doing different things/activities. Some of my credentials and greatest accomplishments are throughout Dance and Music. For almost ten years I was a classical dancer. I excelled in Ballet, Jazz, and Pointe, but Ballet is my first love and always will be. I received awards, trophies, and numerous certificates throughout my years in dance. I also used to participate in an Orchestra where I played the violin. I received many certificates, awards, and medals throughout my time playing. I have also made The National Dean's List for the year's 2001-2002, and 2002-2003; as well as The National Scholars Honor Society in 2003. Not only that, I have volunteered with the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.
Organizations American Psychological Association—APA;
American Psychology-Law Society—AP-LS;
House Rabbit Society—HRS;
International Association for Correctional and Forensic Psychology—IACFP;
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence—NCADV;
North Georgia House Rabbit Society—NGHR
Education/Credentials Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology, Concentration: Psychology Applied to the Workplace, Walden University, Expected: 2010
Awards and Honors Hope Scholarship Recipient, 2005;
The National Scholar's Honor Society, Inducted 2003;
National Dean's List, 2001-2002; 2003-2004;
Georgia Music Educator's Association, Band-Orchestra, 1991-1992; 1992-1993;
Conference Presenter-Clayton State University and The National Archives' Civic Engagement Student Research Conference, Title of Presentation: "North to the Future: The Candidates, Highlights, Factors, and Essential Outcome of the 2008 Alaska U.S. Senate Race"
I've been very confused and shocked about an incident I've encountered and I just feel hopeless because I just don't know what to do.
So I recently turned 21 and I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and I very much care and love him, but something had happened to me very recently and I don't know if I should walk away or stay.
This past weekend was my birthday party. I had just turned 21 and I told my boyfriend that of course I was going to drink.
And that if he could not ruin my night if I were to act careless or stupid because I'll be drunk. But to tell me the next day when I was sober.
Apparently I was acting like a jerk to him that night. And instead of pulling me aside and telling me how I was acting or leaving the party.
He stayed and was boiling up inside.
Then he just snapped.
After I told him to catch my purse (not throwing it at him but tossing it in the air) which he did, but soon afterwards he threw it at me.
Like as if he was throwing a baseball. I wasn't far away, but more like a couple feet away...some part of the purse the strap maybe had hit me on the face.
My friend witnessed it and was pushing him away from me...she was in shock to because well it was random. He's never laid a hand on me, ever.
And well, I just don't know if it was my fault because I was acting careless with him that night, I mean that doesn't give him the right to throw something at me, but well...
I mean we are all human and we all make mistakes.
I don't know if I should forgive him and make up or leave him. I'm just very confused if thats considered a sign of abuse and if I should leave because it isn't safe anymore.
Thank you so much.
Answer Jennifer,
I do apologize for not getting back with you in a timely manner. Although you may have resolved the situation by now, I would still like to weigh in on how I think you could have and possibly should handle the situation. First, was this incident really an accident or did he purposely hit you in the face with your purse strap? Without having been there when this occurred or knowing more about the situation, I will treat this as an accident, but I also feel that maybe a part of him wanted you to get hit in the face to get your attention. First, you are very young, so when you say "boyfriend," I thought, what do you know about having a boyfriend? You are at atime in your life where life should be enjoyable and not so complicated. That;s just my honest opinion.
It sounds as though you were trying to have fun on your birthday and maybe your boyfriend wanted you to just be with him that night and not your friends. If he is possessive and jealous, then he is not right for you. Unfortunately, I would cut my losses and move on. This situation sounds also like there is more to the story than what you are telling me. Maybe it was an accident and maybe not. But you said so yourself that he was acting strange that night, but why? I have no time for foolish behavior and no one should. When people in my presence act strange, that is how I treat them, and I usually attribute it to them drinking or being on drugs. People never act strange for no reason at all; there is usually an underlying issue that they are not communicating. I hope that you discussed this issue with him and maybe you have made progress since then. If you discussed it and you got no where with no answers at all, it is definitely time to move on to bigger and better things. Life is too short for unhappiness. We must live life as it comes at us, be thankful, and remember what we want our legacy to be when we leave here. Leaving behind a legacy of broken relationships and negative situations is not something that anyone should want. Live in the moment and appreciate it while you have it. I wish you well.
Warmest Regards,
Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
AllExperts.com
