AboutChardonnay Nicole Thomas Expertise I am someone who is highly experienced in the fields of Domestic Violence and Abusive
Relationships. I have been in my share of abusive relationships and I have also studied this field. I feel that it really takes someone who has been there and been abused to really understand what other women go through. I have been in unstable relationships that involved physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse. At that time, I felt as if there was no way out, but there is. I didn't think that I could make it, but I did, I didn't think that I could be strong, but I was. There were times when I was constantly being put down and my self-esteem was lowered. I know that you do not have a good feeling about yourself when someone who claims to love and care about you tells you that you are worth nothing and will never be anything out of life. I had to get away from that. I wanted my life to be positive, and now it seems to be. I still have days when I think about what I've been through and I feel melancholy, but I know that I'm okay now. I know now that I am strong and that I can make it through anything. I no longer allow people to disrespect and mistreat me, that doesn't sit well with me now. My standards of how I should be treated are much higher than they used to be. I feel that women especially, should always aim for the best, and never, ever settle for less than you deserve, because if you do, then you get what you settle for. I'm here to offer my expert advice to women who have experienced domestic violence and other forms of abuse throughout relationships. Remember, there is hope, so don't give up on yourself;
BE CONFIDENT and BE STRONG.
Experience I have been in several abusive and unhealthy relationships that have given me the life experience that I have today. I am no longer ashamed to share my views and personal stories on how I survived domestic violence. I persevered through so many negative situations in my life, including abusive relationships, by having faith, and using the strength that God gave me. I learned a long time ago that life is not fair, and there is nothing that anyone can do about that; but we only have one life, so therefore we need to live it the best way that we know how. If people only realized how little time we do actually have here on this Earth, many people would not take so many things for granted. Tomorrow is not promised, but I know that if I stay on the right path towards life, everything will turn out okay. When I look back on my past, it's the good things that give me a more positive outlook on life; different times in my life where I was doing different things/activities. Some of my credentials and greatest accomplishments are throughout Dance and Music. For almost ten years I was a classical dancer. I excelled in Ballet, Jazz, and Pointe, but Ballet is my first love and always will be. I received awards, trophies, and numerous certificates throughout my years in dance. I also used to participate in an Orchestra where I played the violin. I received many certificates, awards, and medals throughout my time playing. I have also made The National Dean's List for the year's 2001-2002, and 2002-2003; as well as The National Scholars Honor Society in 2003. Not only that, I have volunteered with the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.
Organizations American Psychological Association—APA;
American Psychology-Law Society—AP-LS;
House Rabbit Society—HRS;
International Association for Correctional and Forensic Psychology—IACFP;
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence—NCADV;
North Georgia House Rabbit Society—NGHR
Education/Credentials Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology, Concentration: Psychology Applied to the Workplace, Walden University, Expected: 2010
Awards and Honors Hope Scholarship Recipient, 2005;
The National Scholar's Honor Society, Inducted 2003;
National Dean's List, 2001-2002; 2003-2004;
Georgia Music Educator's Association, Band-Orchestra, 1991-1992; 1992-1993;
Conference Presenter-Clayton State University and The National Archives' Civic Engagement Student Research Conference, Title of Presentation: "North to the Future: The Candidates, Highlights, Factors, and Essential Outcome of the 2008 Alaska U.S. Senate Race"
Question WELL TELL YOU THE TRUTH I DONT EVEN NO HOW TO START I HAVE A LITTE BOTHER AGE OF 12 AND MYSLFE AGE 16 .WE LIVE WITH MY MOTHER WHO NOW IS SINGEL ..BEFOR MY MOTHER WAS SINGEL WE HAD MOVED WITH MY STEP FATHER TO MEXICO FOR MY MOTHER TO FIX HIS PAPERS ...WELL LIVEING OVER THERE MY MOTHER GOT SICK AND AS SHE WAS SICK SHE FELL AND NOW IS PARALIZ FROM THE NECK DOWN AND WAS TOLD SHE WOOD NEVER WALK AGAIN .HE GOT HIS PAPERS AND WE ALL MOVED BACK TO LAS VEGAS WHERE WE ARE FROM .MY MOM AND STEP DAD WOULD ALLWAYS ARGUE AROUND MY BOTHER AND ME . MY STEP DAD LEFT MY MOM AND NOW MY BOTHER IS LIKE ALLWAYS FIGHTING WITH ME AND MY MOTHER ..HE HAS NEVER HIT MY MOM BUT HE HIS HIT ME ..AND EVEN IF HE IS LITTLE IN AGE HE IS NOT LITTLE IN SIZE . .. I THINK IF HE WANTED TO HE COULD REALLY MESS ME UP EVEN TO THE PIONT WERE HE ETS SO MAD HE COULD KILL ME ....I NOT GOING TO LIE I HAVE HIT HIM SOMETIMES BUT NOW I DONT EVEN TRY BECAUSE HIS HITS ARE NOW BETTER THEN MINE ...HE HAS ALL OF US GOING CRAZY MY MOM DOES NOT EVEN TELL HIM ANYTHING ANYMORE ..WE TELL HIM THAT WE ARE GOING TO CALL THE COPS BUT ALL HE SAY IS "DO IT I DONT CRAE WELL SEE WHO THEY TAKE YOU OR ME ". MY MOM CRYS SOMETIME BECAUSE WE DONT NO WHAT TO DO ...SO IF YOU COULD GIVE ME SOME ADVICE MAYBE THAT COULD HLEP US WITH HIM .
THANK YOU
SINCERELY
DORA
Answer Dora,
First I must say that I realize how much you love your little brother by trying to find out how to help him, you are a great big sister!! In this kind of situation, I would recommend that you reach out to someone within your school environment that may be of help to you. A school counselor of school psychologist could best assess the situation but you also have other options as well. If your little brother is consistently getting violent with you, you may indeed call the police if he is bringing you great harm, or you may try to contact a social worker. In this situation it is tricky because everyone knows that siblings fight, that's just what they do! I had a similar issue with my brother while we were growing up. My brother keeps a lot of things inside even though we are both adults today. He was very verbally abusive towards me as we got into our teenage years, eventually he was acting out in other ways and my mother sent him to military school and he joined the military thereafter. You and your mother may want to look into some military schools and boot camps that may indeed benefit your brother.
I know that this is hard. No one should ever have to be surrounded by abuse no matter what the form is or who it is coming from. I think that what got me through those years when my brother was a problem was just having faith and the fact that I moved out of town at 18 for college!!! If your brother becomes too violent, then yes, I would definitely call the police, that is what they are for. But he should have a little bit more respect especially since your mother is paralyzed right now. It may also be wise for you and your mother to look into possibly having him stay with another relative or at another place of residence, but I would definitely look into boot camps, that seems to be what he needs. I wish you well in everything. If there is anything else that I can do for you or any other support that I can offer, please do not hesitate to contact me.
All My Best,
Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
AllExperts.com
"Strong people cannot be defeated."
~Danielle Steel
