Expert: Dianne Schwartz - 5/28/2009

Question
Hi I live in England and I have just read your book whoose face is in the mirror.  For 5 years I was in a violent relationship and reading your book has inspired me to write about what happened to me.  The only problem is I have no idea where to start.  I was hoping you may have some advice.

Answer
Hi Hannah (my granddaughter's name),

Thank you for the kind words and I'm so happy my book brought inspiration to you.

Several things about telling your story:

Who is going to be your reading audience? Christian, Jewish, etc., age group?

What is the message you want to get across? How to safely leave a violent relationship? How to start over? What made you realize it was time to leave and how you reached that decision.

You have to validate your reader who might be a victim. You need to be human and tell the many mistaken thoughts you had and most important, get rid of your ego (not easy!) so there won't be any excuses that a reader might pick up on and try to use herself so she won't have to leave.

My book is pretty much "in your face" and I didn't try to come across as a perfect woman. I needed to be completely honest or it wouldn't help another victim. It's truly important.

I don't know if publishers are the same in the UK as they are here but if you can find the book "Forest For The Trees" on Amazon, it is packed full of useful information on writing and the publishing business.

I just sat down one day and started writing. What did I want to say to another victim? What could I write that would help her and don't listen to that nagging voice in your head that tells you that you have nothing important to say!

In the beginning, I didn't even want to tell how I had met my abuser because none of it was real anyway but the editor at my publisher insisted that I include it so I did...reluctantly.

If I can be of any more help (I hope what I've written has been helpful!) feel free to email me and be sure to include something about my book in the re: field so it doesn't get deleted as junk mail.  whose_face@yahoo.com  I'm doing a lot of traveling right now so be patient!

Good for you for leaving!

Dianne