AboutKriss Mitchell, M.Ed, LPC, CRC, CNHP Expertise I am able to answer questions with regard to problems that result from emotional abuse or physical abuse in both dating and marriage relationships. Having been in an abusive relationship for many years, I know first hand the feelings, the questions and the doubts we go through as we try to make decisions about our lives. Often victims of abuse have deep faith based concerns regarding staying in these kinds of relationships which I am able to address as well.
Experience My background started as a victim of an emotionally abusive relationship as well as having family members who were victims of violence and physical abuse. I have gone on to become a professional counselor and I work with abused women.
Organizations American Mental Health Counselors Association,
American Association of Christian Counselors,
International Association of Prayer Counselors
Publications The Good News Northwest and the North Idaho Business Journal
Education/Credentials Licensed Professional Counselor,
Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor,
Certified Rehabilitation Counselor,
Certified Natural Health Professional
Question Can I save my marriage after being violent? We have been married for 13 years. On three terrible ocassions during our relationship, I was drunk, angry and stupid enough to put my hands on the best friend that I've ever know. The last time was about 2 months ago and our children where witness to the horror. I can't even imagine how they must feel and I fear that she has had it once and for all. There isn't anything that I wont do to change this about myself, even if its too late. I am going to 3 different counsellors in efforts to address my demons on as many levels as possible. I see a secular psychologist, a faith based therapist, I go to group meetings at a program for battered families and I've stopped drinking(again) and attend AA daily. What can I do?
Answer Dear Stephen,
It sounds as though you are doing a great deal to address the issues and I congratulate you for that. In regard to saving your marriage, it really depends on whether you can build a trust relationship with your wife and family again. It is very difficult to do that after violence has been introduced into the mix.
If you are making these changes in order to get your family back, I would encourage you to examine your motives. The only way to evoke permanent change in these behaviors is to do it because YOU want to, because you don't want this as a part of your life any more and like you said, you are willing to do anything, for as long as it takes, to turn your life around.
If you are in an area where you can find a counselor who practices an Elijah House style of prayer ministry or Theophostic prayer ministry, these two types of faith based counseling address deep issues and allow the love of God to do the healing in your heart from the root of the problem. If you are not, I would be willing to try and locate someone if you contacted me through my website and let me know where you are located.
I recognize these are very difficult issues for you to address and there is a lot of work involved here, but you are making good choices so far and I think you will be able to overcome if you keep diligently working at it. AA is a great program and a good choice. I bless you in your efforts to overcome.
If there is anything further that I can assist you with, please feel free to contact me again.
