AboutChardonnay Nicole Thomas Expertise I am someone who is highly experienced in the fields of Domestic Violence and Abusive
Relationships. I have been in my share of abusive relationships and I have also studied this field. I feel that it really takes someone who has been there and been abused to really understand what other women go through. I have been in unstable relationships that involved physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse. At that time, I felt as if there was no way out, but there is. I didn't think that I could make it, but I did, I didn't think that I could be strong, but I was. There were times when I was constantly being put down and my self-esteem was lowered. I know that you do not have a good feeling about yourself when someone who claims to love and care about you tells you that you are worth nothing and will never be anything out of life. I had to get away from that. I wanted my life to be positive, and now it seems to be. I still have days when I think about what I've been through and I feel melancholy, but I know that I'm okay now. I know now that I am strong and that I can make it through anything. I no longer allow people to disrespect and mistreat me, that doesn't sit well with me now. My standards of how I should be treated are much higher than they used to be. I feel that women especially, should always aim for the best, and never, ever settle for less than you deserve, because if you do, then you get what you settle for. I'm here to offer my expert advice to women who have experienced domestic violence and other forms of abuse throughout relationships. Remember, there is hope, so don't give up on yourself;
BE CONFIDENT and BE STRONG.
Experience I have been in several abusive and unhealthy relationships that have given me the life experience that I have today. I am no longer ashamed to share my views and personal stories on how I survived domestic violence. I persevered through so many negative situations in my life, including abusive relationships, by having faith, and using the strength that God gave me. I learned a long time ago that life is not fair, and there is nothing that anyone can do about that; but we only have one life, so therefore we need to live it the best way that we know how. If people only realized how little time we do actually have here on this Earth, many people would not take so many things for granted. Tomorrow is not promised, but I know that if I stay on the right path towards life, everything will turn out okay. When I look back on my past, it's the good things that give me a more positive outlook on life; different times in my life where I was doing different things/activities. Some of my credentials and greatest accomplishments are throughout Dance and Music. For almost ten years I was a classical dancer. I excelled in Ballet, Jazz, and Pointe, but Ballet is my first love and always will be. I received awards, trophies, and numerous certificates throughout my years in dance. I also used to participate in an Orchestra where I played the violin. I received many certificates, awards, and medals throughout my time playing. I have also made The National Dean's List for the year's 2001-2002, and 2002-2003; as well as The National Scholars Honor Society in 2003. Not only that, I have volunteered with the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.
Organizations American Psychological Association—APA;
American Psychology-Law Society—AP-LS;
House Rabbit Society—HRS;
International Association for Correctional and Forensic Psychology—IACFP;
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence—NCADV;
North Georgia House Rabbit Society—NGHR
Education/Credentials Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology, Concentration: Psychology Applied to the Workplace, Walden University, Expected: 2010
Awards and Honors Hope Scholarship Recipient, 2005;
The National Scholar's Honor Society, Inducted 2003;
National Dean's List, 2001-2002; 2003-2004;
Georgia Music Educator's Association, Band-Orchestra, 1991-1992; 1992-1993;
Conference Presenter-Clayton State University and The National Archives' Civic Engagement Student Research Conference, Title of Presentation: "North to the Future: The Candidates, Highlights, Factors, and Essential Outcome of the 2008 Alaska U.S. Senate Race"
My husband hits me often but it does not make any bruises. I tried to call police but he always threatens me back that police will trust him not me.
He has kicked me out of the house many times in middle of the night. One time he draw me outside naked (without even underwear)at after 1 am. Sometimes he locks me out of the house that I could not get in. One time he left me on the street that no money, no cellphone, no key and I did not even know where I was.
He does things that illegal and not right but he always convince me that it is normal in united states.
I really love him but now I could not take it anymore.
He always tells me that I am very bad person that I need to get better and accept him more.
I am in deep depression and having left side pain all the time now.
I just don't know what to do. I asked him to go to therapist or marriage counsel with me. But he does not want to spend money on it.
Should I divorce? How can I do it? What is firs step? Is he abusive?
Best,
Answer Dear 123,
In response to your question, yes, I do think that you should divorce, for the simple fact that he is terribly mistreating you and abusing you. So why are you continuously tolerating this? Many people feel strongly about marriage and that vows are important and that divorce should not be an option, I, on the other hand, do not. I do not believe in people staying in abusive relationships and in situations where they are not being treated accordingly. It never matters to me what kind of relationship it is, if there is mistreatment, I leave, point, blank, period. You also stated that you are depressed, well, take it from me, get help as soon as you can. Untreated depression can have serious repurcussions. I believe that you know that this relationship was probably doomed from the very beginning and many people often miss the warning signs of trouble because they are naive and too wrapped up in the other person to really pay attention to behavior and character. If I were you, I would not be trying to fix anything with this creep, you deserve better, and the only way that you will get it is by taking a stand against the way he is treating you and believing in yourself and that you can do better.
As someone recently told me, rid your life of the trash, and you will see how much your life and emotional health will improve. I wish you well in everything.
Make It A Great Day!!
All My Best,
Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
AllExperts.com
