AboutChardonnay Nicole Thomas Expertise I am someone who is highly experienced in the fields of Domestic Violence and Abusive
Relationships. I have been in my share of abusive relationships and I have also studied this field. I feel that it really takes someone who has been there and been abused to really understand what other women go through. I have been in unstable relationships that involved physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse. At that time, I felt as if there was no way out, but there is. I didn't think that I could make it, but I did, I didn't think that I could be strong, but I was. There were times when I was constantly being put down and my self-esteem was lowered. I know that you do not have a good feeling about yourself when someone who claims to love and care about you tells you that you are worth nothing and will never be anything out of life. I had to get away from that. I wanted my life to be positive, and now it seems to be. I still have days when I think about what I've been through and I feel melancholy, but I know that I'm okay now. I know now that I am strong and that I can make it through anything. I no longer allow people to disrespect and mistreat me, that doesn't sit well with me now. My standards of how I should be treated are much higher than they used to be. I feel that women especially, should always aim for the best, and never, ever settle for less than you deserve, because if you do, then you get what you settle for. I'm here to offer my expert advice to women who have experienced domestic violence and other forms of abuse throughout relationships. Remember, there is hope, so don't give up on yourself;
BE CONFIDENT and BE STRONG.
Experience I have been in several abusive and unhealthy relationships that have given me the life experience that I have today. I am no longer ashamed to share my views and personal stories on how I survived domestic violence. I persevered through so many negative situations in my life, including abusive relationships, by having faith, and using the strength that God gave me. I learned a long time ago that life is not fair, and there is nothing that anyone can do about that; but we only have one life, so therefore we need to live it the best way that we know how. If people only realized how little time we do actually have here on this Earth, many people would not take so many things for granted. Tomorrow is not promised, but I know that if I stay on the right path towards life, everything will turn out okay. When I look back on my past, it's the good things that give me a more positive outlook on life; different times in my life where I was doing different things/activities. Some of my credentials and greatest accomplishments are throughout Dance and Music. For almost ten years I was a classical dancer. I excelled in Ballet, Jazz, and Pointe, but Ballet is my first love and always will be. I received awards, trophies, and numerous certificates throughout my years in dance. I also used to participate in an Orchestra where I played the violin. I received many certificates, awards, and medals throughout my time playing. I have also made The National Dean's List for the year's 2001-2002, and 2002-2003; as well as The National Scholars Honor Society in 2003. Not only that, I have volunteered with the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.
Organizations American Psychological Association—APA;
American Psychology-Law Society—AP-LS;
House Rabbit Society—HRS;
International Association for Correctional and Forensic Psychology—IACFP;
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence—NCADV;
North Georgia House Rabbit Society—NGHR
Education/Credentials Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology, Concentration: Psychology Applied to the Workplace, Walden University, Expected: 2010
Awards and Honors Hope Scholarship Recipient, 2005;
The National Scholar's Honor Society, Inducted 2003;
National Dean's List, 2001-2002; 2003-2004;
Georgia Music Educator's Association, Band-Orchestra, 1991-1992; 1992-1993;
Conference Presenter-Clayton State University and The National Archives' Civic Engagement Student Research Conference, Title of Presentation: "North to the Future: The Candidates, Highlights, Factors, and Essential Outcome of the 2008 Alaska U.S. Senate Race"
Question I left my husband in July after long-term domestic abuse. I was able to have 24 weeks of private counseling paid for by my church, but that ended in June prior to my departure. I am not able to continue private sessions and have been struggling to cope without counseling or support. I was hoping to join a free support group, but cannot because I don't have anyone to care for my baby. I wonder if you could recommend some online support groups? I've searched the web and also have called domestic violence hotlines, but haven't come up with anything yet. I greatly appreciate your input. Thank you.
Answer Hi Carolyn,
I am not familiar with many online support groups for domestic violence. But I must say that in regards to your past abusive situation, counseling or therapy is a great recommendation and it is good that you have received it. If you have a child and no one to watch him/her, then you can look around and do your research and try to find someone affordable where you can have time to go to weekly or monthly counseling sessions or support groups.
I also must say that I am proud of you that you made the decision to leave an abusive situation. It takes courage to do that, and you did not allow your situation to defeat you. But also understand that counseling cannot go on forever, counselors and therapists can help you along the way and they guide you, but once it is over, we must still go on and live our lives without the fear of making decisions and moving on. I had to really learn that and understand that once my counseling ended. Now, it does get hard when it comes to making decisions, but my counselor could not hold my hand for the rest of my life; I have to finish the life that was given to me and let's face it, fear is such a useless emotion and I wish that there was no such thing.
My concern is that you will become too dependent on therapy and support from others, but since your situation is still quite fresh, I am hoping that you will become aware of this and will move on successfully with or without therapy. Even if counseling and support groups are not an option right now, find the strength that lies inside of you and make sure that everyone in your life is worthy of your presence and emits positive and uplifting energy. Often, the downfall of many people is due to whom they have around them and then they get to where they need to reevaluate the people in their life. I had to do that recently and I do believe it is a necessary process in life that we will do over and over again like a merry-go-round. Again, I am proud of you and I wish you continued success in life. The most important thing is your child and his/her upbringing. She/he will look to you as a role model, so please remember that and be careful of whom you allow in your life. I wish you well.
Make it a Great Day!
All My Very Best,
Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
AllExperts.com
