AboutSusan Blocker Expertise My name is Susan Blocker. I was born in 1962 with a physical disabillity and I am SURVIVOR of Physical, Sexual, Verbal, Emotional and Economical abuse. During the past 11 years via my website "Climbing Out Of The Spiral" I have provided a myriad of online support and counseling services to survivors and victims of abuse worldwide.
My knowledge stems from my own personal experiences with childhood abuse and domestic violence. Through my own experience with abuse I've learned many valuable lessons that I am able to pass on to those in need of guidance and support, so that they may begin their "Climb Out Of The Spiral".
Experience My greatest accomplishment is surviving thirty years of abuse and having the strength to uphold my emotional fortitude so that I can pass my experience on to other survivors of abuse. I am creative founder of a website dedicated to promoting abuse awareness and prevention. Climbing Out Of The Spiral has provided abuse support and counseling services to victims and survivors of abuse world wide since December 7, 1996. Climbing Out Of The Spiral is my most precious achievement.
Education/Credentials My educatonal credentials stems from "Life Experience".
Question I beleive i am getting all of the above from my partner and i cant and dont know why!.Im a good girlfriend who does everything he asks but nothing seems good enough i just keep asking him WHY but i never get a reason and only get told he hates me and wishes that i would die.When he does attack me and im in pain still days after he just carries on as if nothing has happened and without a care in the world.How can another human being treat you like and watch you being in pain without any remorse or feel of guilt.Is all of this normal?? Also i have a 8yr old daughter which isnt his and for the past yr he has begung to mentally bully her by calling her names,shouting at her and putting her down etc.I feel like im going insane.He says i deserve it,but do i?Would be very gratful for any advice that you can give me.
Answer Hello Mellissa:
I appreciate your inquiry and I am so sorry for the pain you and your daughter are experiencing at the hands of your partner. Please allow me to start off by saying "Neither YOU or your CHILD are to blame for your partners ill behavior." Mellissa under any circumstances neither YOU or your CHILD deserve to be abused in any way.
Abusers often have many reasons as to why they abuse others. However Mellissa there should be no tolerance for abuse of any kind. Mellissa your main concern at this point should be protecting you and your daughter from further abuse. Do Not allow your daughter to stay in an environment that can prove detrimental and harmful to her emotional/physical well being.
A partner who says they hate you and wishes death on you has some very serious problems and YOU Do Not need to be in any type of relationship with that person. Mellissa please take your partners threats and abuse serious. Your partner is displaying his rage and anger and he has no remorse. This type of person can hurt or kill both you and your daughter.
A partner who truly loves and cares for both you and your daughter would NEVER cause harm to you. Mellissa remember this "Real Love Does Not HURT or cause any type of intentional PAIN."
Mellisa I encourage you to contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at:
0808 2000 247 or you can visit there web site at: http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
This organization provides extensive resources and support to victims of abuse within the UK.
You and your child are being abused Mellissa and I strongly encourage you to seek all the help that is available to you. Mellissa remember this please there is NO rational reasoning for anyone to abuse another person. You are a good person and you and your daughter deserve to be treated with love, care and respect.
Please try not to keep your daughter in an abusive environment because she may grow up believing that it is ok to allow someone to abuse her. It's not ok to allow anyone to abuse you Mellissa. Please get help and support for both you and your daughter. As a innocent child your daughter is looking to you to protect her. In order to protect her you have to want to protect yourself Mellissa.
Mellissa I am also going to give you the contact information to United States Domestic Violence Hot Line 1-800-799-7233 or visit there company web site at: http://www.ndvh.org/ They are located within the United States but they can direct you to additional support agencies that are within your country. Please use the information that I have provided you to its full extent.
Mellissa if you need to talk again I am here please feel free to email again at any time. I wish YOU and your DAUGHTER Peace & Tranquility.
