AboutSusan Blocker Expertise My name is Susan Blocker. I was born in 1962 with a physical disabillity and I am SURVIVOR of Physical, Sexual, Verbal, Emotional and Economical abuse. During the past 11 years via my website "Climbing Out Of The Spiral" I have provided a myriad of online support and counseling services to survivors and victims of abuse worldwide.
My knowledge stems from my own personal experiences with childhood abuse and domestic violence. Through my own experience with abuse I've learned many valuable lessons that I am able to pass on to those in need of guidance and support, so that they may begin their "Climb Out Of The Spiral".
Experience My greatest accomplishment is surviving thirty years of abuse and having the strength to uphold my emotional fortitude so that I can pass my experience on to other survivors of abuse. I am creative founder of a website dedicated to promoting abuse awareness and prevention. Climbing Out Of The Spiral has provided abuse support and counseling services to victims and survivors of abuse world wide since December 7, 1996. Climbing Out Of The Spiral is my most precious achievement.
Education/Credentials My educatonal credentials stems from "Life Experience".
Question I have been married 18 years, throughout the marriage we have had some rocky times. He has done so many wonderfull things for me and my children. He was never really into sex alot but I felt that there were more important things than sex. He is an alcoholic, when he would drink he would tell me how much he hated the things he did for me. About 4 months ago we had a argument and he hit me in the mouth,since then he has quit drinking, is extremely nice, like a totally different person but I cannot forgive him, its like he killed the marriage. What do think I should do?
Answer Hello Dawn:
I appreciate your inquiry. In honesty Dawn there's truly not much that you need to do because the problem lies with your husband and his alcoholism. It's good that he realized his mistake and that he has stopped drinking. However depending on how long he has had a problem with alcohol he still may need additional support through an Alcohol Substance Abuse Program.
If he starts drinking he very well may become abusive towards you again. Some people who drink alcohol become verbally, physically and emotionally abusive towards there spouse because the alcohol takes over their mental state.
I think you should try to encourage your husband to seek professional support for his alcohol addiction. It's very good that he has stopped drinking but he still may need a little outside support especially if he experiences any type of stress. Additional stress can cause him to turn back to drinking again which in turn may cause him to become abusive towards you. So I do suggest that you talk to your husband and see if he is willing to seek additional support for his drinking.
You and your husband have been married for 18 years and I can only imagine the hurt you felt/feel when he says hurtful things to you. Dawn please remember emotional healing takes time. Give yourself the time that you need to heal. It may take a little time repair what has been damaged within your marriage but in "Time" it can be repaired.
I also would like to encourage you to contact National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or visit there company web site at: http://www.ndvh.org/
D.V.H. will be able to further assist you by giving you specific information regarding victim support that can be obtained within the current state that you reside in.
I also want you to know Dawn that I too can relate to your situation. I too am a survivor of domestic violence and I am here to tell you YOUR LIFE will get better. There is plenty of help available to you, keep striving forward.
If I may be of further assistance Dawn please feel free to email me again any time at your convenience. Remain Strong Dawn.
