You are here:

Domestic Violence/How can she not love me anymore?


"My wife and I have been separated since our domestic dispute over a month ago. I was arrested and she had move out and into a women shelter temporarily. When i did get out i try to reach out to her to mined things. Every time I call her she doesnt answer, and if I try to conversate with her through text she would turn her phone off for the whole night. A couple of weeks later I get a protective oprder serve to me from her. In the copy of the affidavit she claims she call the police and while she was on the stand  at our hearing in court she seem very shaky since the very beginning. She went on to say that the leasing office people who witness the whole thing call the cops on that day

Why would she not admit in calling the cops like she said she did in the affidavit? Everyone know she did in fact call the police

She also told the D.A and the court that I had warn her before hand before I hit her to stop nagging me. Also which wasn't in the affidavit. strange.

Also in the affidavit she say suffered a black eye and a bloody nose in another incident between us.Then on the stand she said she did suffered a black eye due to the bloody nose but only she could have notice it looking in the mirror.

She clearly doesnt want anything to do with me but what i dont understand is how can a week prior to all of this she is all loving to me and request days off to spend time with me and text me telling me how much she love me only for her to treat me like I dont exist? Also in the affidavit she begins to say that she was conteplating leaving me only to make her final decision when she spoke to her boss about the situation. Her boss and her have become very buddy buddy lately. I havent met her personal but she would come home and express how kool her boss was and stuff. Could this have had a affect on her?"""

Hello Shawn,

You are completely missing the point. You are focused on everything but the real issue which is: you abused her.

It's not that her boss has an affect on her, that is a moot point. You are looking in all the wrong directions. You are looking at anything you can to stop yourself from seeing the truth. You are an abuser.

It doesn't matter who called the cops. What does matter is there was a cause to call them and that was you hurting her.

How can she change her mind about loving you in such a short time? Probably because she decided that she deserved better for herself. Maybe she didn't want to be with someone who she would have to be afraid of or who would hit her.

You need to go deep within and ask yourself who taught you it was okay to abuse a woman...any woman. It isn't right and never will be. You need to do yourself a favor and get to the bottom of this horrible issue and stop trying to continually blame her...or the system...or anything. The problem lies within you.

Find a abuser group and go to change your life and yourself, not because the court will demand you to go. It isn't too late to become a new who will be respected, will learn to respect women and respect himself.

I wish you the best,


Domestic Violence

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Dianne Schwartz


Relationship, self-love, domestic violence, personal and spiritual growth, self-examination to define the reasons we have pulled unhealthy people into our lives and how to end this destructive practice.


Author of, "Whose Face is in the Mirror?" One woman's journey through the nightmare of domestic violence to true healing. Website for battered women and non-profit organization that assists victims of abuse.

Domestic violence director of The Peace at Home Program. Court approved trainer and speaker on domestic abuse.

This book was reviewed by The Library Journal

Awards and Honors
Book was chosen as Hay House Publishing "Book of the Year."

©2017 All rights reserved.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]