You are here:

Domestic Violence/Is this abuse please


Hi there, I have severe anxiety and I'm beginning to think everything is my fault. My husband of 3 years marriage has been treating me this way. I have no one to talk to and I am desperate for advice please. Here is my list I have kept.I am fed up with being treated this way.
1. I am being ignored in bed and out.
2. If I want to go in the car I get disgusting looks.
3. I have been told its all my fault he dosent get new clothes I am agoraphobic.
4. I get dirty looks if I want to sit in the front room or by his fish tanks.
5. He witholds sex from me as a form of punishment.
6. He blames everything on me.
7.he has blocked me in the doorways from moving into another room.
8. He looks at me in disgust if I do my dancing and  ruins my exercise.
9. He hardly works and is constantly home.
10. He smashed his phone up on anger.
11. He threw me back across the bed and bruised my arms
He's been off with my grandson and our dog Millie.
12. I have been told  I'm not allowed to sleep in another room he gets angry.
13.he blames my anxiety and says its not his behaviour.
14. He wouldn't even give me his brothers address.
15. He has walked out on me 3 times.
16. He opened a bank account behind my back.
17. I get blamed for everything.
18. He denies and blames everything on me.
19. I feel so  ill and miserable with it all but he won't leave to give me a break.
20. He got really possessive with me. He was convinced some worker over the barn was after me and fancied me.
21. I stopped walking over there to avoid any accusations.
22. I haven't even been allowed to have a joint bank account since November 2015 and I have been with him nearly 15 years.
23. He told me he can smile at other women and I'm not to cop on to any men. I am not like that I am agoraphobic.
24. His customers and a lady up the road have told him to invite me for a coffee bit he gave me dirty  looks when I wanted to go out and argues with me so he knows I'm to upset to go.
25. I am to blame for everything that he has done wrong even his parking ticket I was never with him.Thank you for your help.

Dear Millie,
Thank you for your question and for taking the time to be so specific about the issues that you are facing.  The answer to your question is simple:  YES!  This is abuse.  Along with the abuse is control and manipulation.  Your husband does not have the right to control where you go, who you see, what you feel and who you talk to.  Being agoraphobic is difficult on any level, but your anxiety level can't help but be heightened by his treatment of you.  If you get an adverse reaction to whatever you do, that would be highly stressful and anxiety producing in and of itself.

Please let me know if there is any more information that you need.  Several good books to read would be "The Sociopath Next Door", "Emotional Blackmail", The Emotionally Destructive Marriage" and "People Problems".  If I can be of any further assistance, please feel free to contact me again.

Domestic Violence

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, CRC, CNHP


I am able to answer questions with regard to problems that result from emotional abuse or physical abuse in both dating and marriage relationships. Having been in an abusive relationship for many years, I know first hand the feelings, the questions and the doubts we go through as we try to make decisions about our lives. Often victims of abuse have deep faith based concerns regarding staying in these kinds of relationships which I am able to address as well.


My background started as a victim of an emotionally abusive relationship as well as having family members who were victims of violence and physical abuse. I have gone on to become a professional counselor and I work with abused women.

American Mental Health Counselors Association, American Association of Christian Counselors, International Association of Prayer Counselors

I currently maintain a blog at I also have links and currently written articles on my website at You can also follow me on TWITTER @livingwellcc, or on facebook at Living Well Counseling and Consulting. My writings have appeared in The Good News Northwest and the North Idaho Business Journal

Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor, Certified Rehabilitation Counselor, Certified Natural Health Professional

©2016 All rights reserved.