Domestic Violence/Is this abuse please
Hi there, I have severe anxiety and I'm beginning to think everything is my fault. My husband of 3 years marriage has been treating me this way. I have no one to talk to and I am desperate for advice please. Here is my list I have kept.I am fed up with being treated this way.
1. I am being ignored in bed and out.
2. If I want to go in the car I get disgusting looks.
3. I have been told its all my fault he dosent get new clothes I am agoraphobic.
4. I get dirty looks if I want to sit in the front room or by his fish tanks.
5. He witholds sex from me as a form of punishment.
6. He blames everything on me.
7.he has blocked me in the doorways from moving into another room.
8. He looks at me in disgust if I do my dancing and ruins my exercise.
9. He hardly works and is constantly home.
10. He smashed his phone up on anger.
11. He threw me back across the bed and bruised my arms
He's been off with my grandson and our dog Millie.
12. I have been told I'm not allowed to sleep in another room he gets angry.
13.he blames my anxiety and says its not his behaviour.
14. He wouldn't even give me his brothers address.
15. He has walked out on me 3 times.
16. He opened a bank account behind my back.
17. I get blamed for everything.
18. He denies and blames everything on me.
19. I feel so ill and miserable with it all but he won't leave to give me a break.
20. He got really possessive with me. He was convinced some worker over the barn was after me and fancied me.
21. I stopped walking over there to avoid any accusations.
22. I haven't even been allowed to have a joint bank account since November 2015 and I have been with him nearly 15 years.
23. He told me he can smile at other women and I'm not to cop on to any men. I am not like that I am agoraphobic.
24. His customers and a lady up the road have told him to invite me for a coffee bit he gave me dirty looks when I wanted to go out and argues with me so he knows I'm to upset to go.
25. I am to blame for everything that he has done wrong even his parking ticket I was never with him.Thank you for your help.
Thank you for your question and for taking the time to be so specific about the issues that you are facing. The answer to your question is simple: YES! This is abuse. Along with the abuse is control and manipulation. Your husband does not have the right to control where you go, who you see, what you feel and who you talk to. Being agoraphobic is difficult on any level, but your anxiety level can't help but be heightened by his treatment of you. If you get an adverse reaction to whatever you do, that would be highly stressful and anxiety producing in and of itself.
Please let me know if there is any more information that you need. Several good books to read would be "The Sociopath Next Door", "Emotional Blackmail", The Emotionally Destructive Marriage" and "People Problems". If I can be of any further assistance, please feel free to contact me again.