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Domestic Violence/Questions Answered by Expert Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, CRC, CNHP
| Subject | Date Asked |
| Don't know what to do... | 12/1/2011 |
| Q: I've been married for 6 years and we have two small kids....2 and 5. We got married after 6 months ... A: This is very normal for women in abusive relationships. Hope is a powerful thing and its what keeps ... | |
| can't get over domestic abuse | 11/26/2011 |
| Q: My ex boyfriend would emotionally and Physically abuse which caused me to miscarriage. I fimally had ... A: It sounds like you may be dealing with a form of Post Traumatic Stress. My best advice would be for ... | |
| Husband is getting the best lawyer possible | 11/2/2011 |
| Q: My husband has hit or pushed me several times during the past years, but it became worse the last ... A: It sounds as though you have some good back up for your claims, however I am not able to answer your ... | |
| abuse | 9/26/2011 |
| Q: My daughter is 23 and has a 2 yr old. She has been in an abusive relaitonship for 7 yrs. They moved ... A: These kinds of issues are always very complicated. The thing that is almost guaranteed is that ... | |
| lost! | 9/22/2011 |
| Q: Am i over reacting when my husband calls me stupid or a dumbass. He says he dont mean nothing by it ... A: No, I don't believe you are over-reacting to what is being done. Even though someone doesn't mean ... | |
| One Time | 9/1/2011 |
| Q: Almost 2 weeks ago my husband and I got into a horrible fight and he attacked me. We have been ... A: I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you. Violence is always disconcerting and disorienting. ... | |
| My mom is an abusive relationship | 7/8/2011 |
| Q: I'm Deanna, 15 years old and just recently moved away from my mom because of an abusive relationship ... A: You will need to check this information out with your local authorities, but in most states children ... | |
| past abuse | 7/5/2011 |
| Q: I have been married to my husband for a little over a year now. He is in the military and we are ... A: There is a lot going on in your question so let me take things one topic at a time. Domestic ... | |
| can they change? | 6/15/2011 |
| Q: I recently was involved in my 2nd big physical abuse situation with my boyfriend of 2 years. We have ... A: The question of whether a person can change or not is a very common one when working with difficult ... | |
| Domestic abuse and divorce | 6/8/2011 |
| Q: I have been married for over 12 years, together for about 17 years total. There has always been ... A: I'm so sorry to hear of your situation, but unfortunately you are not alone in this scenario. Women ... | |
| domestic abuse | 4/21/2011 |
| Q: I commited domestic abuse aginist my wife. How do I move on? I can't forgivemyself, nor can I ... A: It is never a good idea to try to help someone else with something that you have not yet overcome. ... | |
| domestic abuse | 4/21/2011 |
| Q: I commited domestic abuse aginist my wife. How do I move on? I can't forgivemyself, nor can I ... A: I can understand how difficult it can be to reconcile this kind of behavior with yourself, but it ... | |
| don't want to give up but so unhappy | 4/11/2011 |
| Q: My husband and I got married in June of this year, and just a few months later he deployed to Iraq. ... A: I am so glad that you wrote to me and my heart goes out to you in this situation. It is a very ... | |
| I have been abused as far as I can remember.. | 4/10/2011 |
| Q: My dad has a temper, and he gets mad at every little thing. But that has toned down a lot ever since ... A: At 17 years old you have a lot of options available to you if you want to take advantage of them. ... | |
| Is there hope? | 2/24/2011 |
| Q: As of recently, my now ex-partner assaulted me after a party. It was not the first time he hit me ... A: The question of whether a person can change or not is a very common one when working with difficult ... | |
| domestic abuse | 2/2/2011 |
| Q: i have been with a man for 12 years. the violence started 9 years ago when our son was 4 weeks old ... A: In view of a long standing pattern such as this, my answer to your question would be no. He ... | |
| Trying to identify verbal abuse | 1/31/2011 |
| Q: My wife, for the ten years I've known her, has pretty much let me know when I do something she ... A: If you look at the term on wikipedia, you will find this definition: Verbal abuse (also called ... | |
| Followup to "Is this abuse? Or can we work it out?" | 1/26/2011 |
| Q: I am Debbie, from http://en.allexperts.com/q/Domestic-Violence-865/2009/4/abuse-work-1.htm. I wanted ... A: So good to hear from you and to know that there was a move for the positive in your relationship. I ... | |
| life | 1/2/2011 |
| Q: I dont really know how to start this but it all started about two years ago. I started dating my ... A: I understand how scary this kind of thing is, but you have to know that you don't deserve any of ... | |
| Domestic Violence | 11/21/2010 |
| Q: If all women are supposed to leave their emotionally and physically abusive husbands, are they all ... A: In regard to being doomed, physical violence is a very, very difficult behavior to extinguish unless ... | |
| Marriage issue | 11/17/2010 |
| Q: I just left my husband 3 days ago because he threw me on the steps when he was drunk. Should I go ... A: If he is not taking any steps to control his temper, deal with his drinking I would not go back. It ... | |
| crutch | 10/21/2010 |
| Q: I don't know how to separate the feelings that I have for the "survival technique/crutch" person and ... A: You ask some very strategic questions that I'm not sure I can answer fully. Everybody has their own ... | |
| Abuse / Trust | 10/18/2010 |
| Q: For over 20 years my husband has been a bully and very intimidating. He was bad before I married ... A: What you are describing is the Cycle of Domestic Violence. It starts with a tension building phase, ... | |
| Is this situation considered abuse? | 10/15/2010 |
| Q: I have been married for 19 years and my husband has always had a bad temper (throws things, hits ... A: Please forgive me for the delay in getting back to you. Friday was my birthday so I'm just now ... | |
| Confuse | 9/25/2010 |
| Q: But it is almost impossible to leave. We are both divorced and have children from those marriages ... A: Once abusers become physically violent, there are not many options that are open to you. Unless the ... | |
| enhanced domestic abuse charge of mentally disabled female | 9/21/2010 |
| Q: I have been in a psychologically abusive marriage for 34 years. I have been diagnosed with Psychosis ... A: There is never anything wrong with getting an attorney to help you. I cannot give you legal advice, ... | |
| Abuse | 9/14/2010 |
| Q: I am a 61 year old abuser.My wife of 30 years is fed up with me and rightfully so.I want help ... A: Sure John, I'm happy to help you and I do understand what you are saying about the abuse trend. ... | |
| expert required for school | 9/2/2010 |
| Q: In my health class we were assigned to various problems that might affect physical, mental, and ... A: I'd be happy to answer a few questions to help you with your assignment. You can also find more ... | |
| Helping a friend | 8/21/2010 |
| Q: A girlfriend of mine is on trial for the murder of her husband. She had been subjected to over 20 ... A: I'm sure your friend is quite distraught and it is always a difficult thing to work through when one ... | |
| Verbal/Emotional Abuse | 8/4/2010 |
| Q: I finally got the courage to ask my husband to leave the house after I saw the hurt in my daughter's ... A: You ask some very thoughtful and insightful questions. The simple and easy answers are no, you are ... | |
| emotional abuse | 7/28/2010 |
| Q: I've been married to my husband for 15 years now and have 3 children, ages 15, 13 and 10. When we ... A: It sounds as though you have made some quality decisions for very good reasons. I'm so sorry that ... | |
| breaking things | 6/22/2010 |
| Q: So, I'm not sure exactly how to classify this. My husband will get angry and break things. It's ... A: If you have been in this business long enough, you begin to see the stereotypical responses that ... | |
| breaking things | 6/22/2010 |
| Q: So, I'm not sure exactly how to classify this. My husband will get angry and break things. It's ... A: I'm sure this is very difficult for you and although not being believed adds to the situation, it is ... | |
| Abuse | 6/17/2010 |
| Q: My husband has always had a temper but never took it out on me until the last 3 years We bought a ... A: Because of the kind of abuse and the severity of the abuse the answer that I'm going to give you ... | |
| separating from a domestically violent husband | 6/14/2010 |
| Q: My husband did move out, after I confirmed yesterday that I would rather he be out than move into my ... A: What you have described shows that he hasn't changed. He is blaming you for his behavior, when it ... | |
| I can't accept that I am in an abusive relationship, don't know what to do. | 6/10/2010 |
| Q: I have been married for 5 years. My husband has a serious anger/rage problem. Even before we got ... A: I am so sorry to hear about these struggles and I deeply understand how hard it is to get to the ... | |
| separating from a domestically violent husband | 6/9/2010 |
| Q: Kriss, another question, please?? As you suggested, I saw my lawyer a few days ago. Last night, I ... A: It sounds as though you handled things very well. The tragic thing is that the openness to change ... | |
| separating from a domestically violent husband | 6/6/2010 |
| Q: I have read the article, which was very enlightening, and plan to get a copy of the book Learning to ... A: Unfortunately, many of the questions you have asked this time would need to be answered by your ... | |
| separating from a domestically violent husband | 6/5/2010 |
| Q: I have read the article, which was very enlightening, and plan to get a copy of the book Learning to ... A: Yes, I understand the pressure that comes from parts of the Christian Community in terms of leaving ... | |
| separating from a domestically violent husband | 6/3/2010 |
| Q: I have read the article, which was very enlightening, and plan to get a copy of the book Learning to ... A: Honestly Grace, your gut is telling you what to do. When you hold out the idea that there could be ... | |
| separating from a domestically violent husband | 6/2/2010 |
| Q: Kris, My husband and I have been married for 23 years. We have 6 children (one died as a toddler). ... A: I certainly understand what you are saying and the Christian professionals and pastors are doing ... | |
| separating from a domestically violent husband | 6/2/2010 |
| Q: Kris, My husband and I have been married for 23 years. We have 6 children (one died as a toddler). ... A: The first thing I would ask you to do is to go to my website and download an article called "What ... | |
| is this actually abusive | 5/11/2010 |
| Q: My feeling is that my kids and I are in an abusive relationship. Whenever I discuss with my husband, ... A: Absolutely this is abusive...inappropriate and not good parenting as well. Anything that results in ... | |
| Spousal Abuse | 12/29/2009 |
| Q: My husband & I have been married for 10 years & have 3 small girls.Thru the years he has pushed me ... A: ...I can hear that you are trying to do the right thing and I hope that what I am able to say to you ... | |
| Will he ever change? Should I leave him? | 12/21/2009 |
| Q: I have been with my husband for 6 years, marrying in June 09. We have lived together for 5 years and ... A: I can respect that decision, although you are right, I do believe he is copping out. Anger ... | |
| Will he ever change? Should I leave him? | 12/20/2009 |
| Q: I have been with my husband for 6 years, marrying in June 09. We have lived together for 5 years and ... A: You ask a very good and insightful question. Obviously, every person is unique in the way that they ... | |
| DV | 12/13/2009 |
| Q: I have been with my bf for 7 yrs. in the first 3 months he tried to strangle me in a drunken rage. ... A: In answer to your question, counseling would be an option. From what it sounds like, alcohol is ... | |
| physicial abusive husband | 12/7/2009 |
| Q: When the husband is physically abusive when in an anger rage, can this person change and not abuse ... A: In answer to your question, the short answer is no. Men who behave like this usually have some kind ... | |
| Domestic Violence | 10/7/2009 |
| Q: Can a person who is not the typical Domestic Violence Abuser be rehabilitated and change? meaning ... A: I certainly respect what you have to say as I understand that you are the one on the front lines. ... | |
| Domestic Violence | 10/7/2009 |
| Q: Can a person who is not the typical Domestic Violence Abuser be rehabilitated and change? meaning ... A: I am truly sorry to hear of your situation. It is always difficult to separate from a long term ... | |
| i dont wont to be scared any more | 10/2/2009 |
| Q: iv been out of an abusive relationship for 4 years i was in that relationship for 20 years. i am now ... A: I certainly understand your concerns. When you spend that kind of time in an abusive relationship, ... | |
| Domestic Violence | 9/28/2009 |
| Q: I need to know what to do about a neighbor in an abusive relationship. She and her two children ... A: I certainly understand your concern, but the police are correct. Unless there is some law in your ... | |
| Should I press charges against my boyfriend? | 9/12/2009 |
| Q: I've been with my boyfriend for 1+ yr by now. He's usually a really nice person when he's not ... A: My question to you is why in the world are you staying in this relationship? Why would you want to ... | |
| speak out | 9/11/2009 |
| Q: I was a victim of domestic violence years ago,but now i have a desire to teach others with tools ... A: My first suggestion would be to contact your local Women's Center or domestic violence organization ... | |
| How can I go guilt free? | 9/9/2009 |
| Q: So I married an abused man thinking my love could change him. After 10 years of abuse to me and our ... A: You are a very wise woman, I can tell in the things that you say. Yes, it IS hard to paint yourself ... | |
| How can I go guilt free? | 9/4/2009 |
| Q: So I married an abused man thinking my love could change him. After 10 years of abuse to me and our ... A: Please forgive me for not getting right back to you. I discovered that I was having some issues ... | |
| need advice | 6/8/2009 |
| Q: My husband and I had an argument yesterday. We were both emotional, but about different topics. We ... A: I can only imagine how scary this is for you. You didn't mention how long you had been married, ... | |
| Friend's Engagement | 6/2/2009 |
| Q: I have a girlfriend, age 19, who is engaged to be married this August. They've been dating 8 months. ... A: There are definitely red flags here and at 23, a person should not be sucking their thumb. Denial ... | |
| Can I save my marriage after being violent? | 5/14/2009 |
| Q: Can I save my marriage after being violent? We have been married for 13 years. On three terrible ... A: It sounds as though you are doing a great deal to address the issues and I congratulate you for ... | |
| Emotional Abuse | 5/7/2009 |
| Q: I finally confronted my husband again about his angry tirades. He recently had 2 episodes: one that ... A: Abusive relationships can be very complicated, can't they? I'm sorry to hear of the struggles you ... | |
| I feel weak | 4/19/2009 |
| Q: What do I do? I got married about two-and-a-half years ago to a man who is 15 years older than me. ... A: These kinds of relationships are so difficult and I realize in India that extended family has a lot ... | |
| Abusive Marriage | 4/16/2009 |
| Q: I got married in the month of May 2008 to a highly qualified, well employed person who seemed ... A: This must be a very confusing situation for you and I hope that I can clarify some things for you. ... | |
| Do I Have a Disability? | 4/14/2009 |
| Q: Kriss: I contacted you because of your statement about faith-based decisions. My faith is what kept ... A: I'm so sorry to hear about your situation and hope that you can benefit from the advice you are ... | |
| Is this abuse? Or can we work it out? | 4/8/2009 |
| Q: (I am sorry to have taken up so much space here, but I am so confused and worried and wanted to ... A: I am grateful that what I said was a blessing to you. These situations are very difficult, but you ... | |
| Is this abuse? Or can we work it out? | 4/7/2009 |
| Q: (I am sorry to have taken up so much space here, but I am so confused and worried and wanted to ... A: I agree with you. This is abuse, but it sounds as if there is some hope for change if certain ... | |
| Abused and confused | 4/5/2009 |
| Q: My husband mentally and physically abuses me on average. The physical does not occur as much but the ... A: I am sorry to hear that this is so difficult for you, but if there is good news here, it is that the ... | |
| should I get off the roller coaster? | 3/17/2009 |
| Q: I been married thirty two. have 3 children and 6 grand children. One child divorced due to emotional ... A: I am sorry this is such a painful situation for you. Being controlled and watched is never fun and ... | |
| my adult daughter | 3/15/2009 |
| Q: How do I get my daughter to leave? She's emotionally battered as well as her 2 little girls, it's ... A: I know it is hard and the best way to deal with it is to unhook. You have no control here so ... | |
| my adult daughter | 3/9/2009 |
| Q: How do I get my daughter to leave? She's emotionally battered as well as her 2 little girls, it's ... A: I don't think there is anything more difficult than watching someone we love be mistreated. It is ... | |
| What should i do if i am being emotional abused? | 3/7/2009 |
| Q: I have been married for 7 years and i have 2 children. My husband yells at me alot, wont let me go ... A: This sounds like such a difficult position for you to be in, but unfortunately not all that ... | |
| Not sure if I should leave or stay... | 3/5/2009 |
| Q: My husband and I have been married almost 2 years. I have a 15 yr old daughter from a previous ... A: I appreciate your honesty in regard to the abusive behavior you engaged in and I am glad to see that ... | |
| violence in sex | 3/1/2009 |
| Q: I am in a very new relationship. My partner is loving and kind, works hard and looks after me very ... A: I think you are being wise. Thank you for updating me and I truly wish you well as you proceed with ... | |
| my husband choked me | 2/26/2009 |
| Q: I recently married my husband of 1 month, we have been together off and on for 3 years and have a ... A: It is hard to tell whether or not something will or will not happen. I can tell you this is an ... | |
| How do I leave emotionally abusive husband? Follow Up | 2/23/2009 |
| Q: Ok so 1 more thing Kriss. First I want to thank you for taking the time to offer me some guidence. ... A: In regard to leaving, it is really a matter of what is best for you. If you know that you will be ... | |
| How do I leave emotionally abusive husband? Follow Up | 2/18/2009 |
| Q: OH Kriss! I promise this is the last time I'll bother you. I cant afford counselling, how I wish I ... A: Not to worry, I'm here to answer your questions. In regard to counseling, you know your area better ... | |
| How do I leave emotionally abusive husband? Follow Up | 2/17/2009 |
| Q: Kriss, Thank you for your truthful opinion. I think the reason this is so hard is because I know ... A: How well I understand your position :). You're right, it is scary and it is probably the hardest ... | |
| affair with best friend | 2/17/2009 |
| Q: I have been with my husbankd for over 20 years. I am 38 years old. My husband is an alcoholic and ... A: You sound very angry and I'm sure there are many reasons to be angry. There are many ways to tell ... | |
| is my husband an abuser? | 2/16/2009 |
| Q: Ok where to start. I just turned 24. female and got married 4.5 months ago. no kids and not ... A: I am so sorry this has happened to you and understand the pain that you are going through. No one ... | |
| How do I leave emotionally abusive husband? | 2/13/2009 |
| Q: My husband is emotionally abusive. It's not the worst case I've ever heard of, but it is definate. ... A: Emotional abuse can easily be discounted because technically they haven't "hit" you; however this ... | |
| Whats best? | 2/13/2009 |
| Q: I have been in a verbal, emotional, and slightly physical relationship for 12 years. I have left him ... A: This sounds like a tough place and to be in and you obviously care a lot about your children. I'm ... | |
| Essay Research | 2/4/2009 |
| Q: I am writing a paper for school in which I have to support my claim that in cases of domestic abuse, ... A: This is an interesting, yet complicated subject and I'm glad that you have chosen it to write your ... | |
| Mental Abuse from X Wife | 1/22/2009 |
| Q: at the end of March 2008 my wife of 1 year partner for 5 decided she did not want to be with me ... A: I can hear in the way you have described your situation that you are very distressed and frustrated. ... | |
| mental abuse | 1/20/2009 |
| Q: I am a survivor of sexual and mental abuse, although I remember it was very painful, I don't ... A: This is one of the most painful situations a mother can find herself in and I am so very sorry to ... | |
| Abusive Husband Strikes Again | 1/7/2009 |
| Q: .. I consulted you a few weeks ago about my abusive husband. I have another question. As I told ... A: I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened and for the quandary it has placed you in. It would be ... | |
| Grandparent abuse | 12/30/2008 |
| Q: My mother is often asked to provide care for my brother's daughter who is now 13 years old. My ... A: This sounds like a difficult situation for all concerned. I can tell you are very concerned about ... | |
| Can my abusive husband change? | 12/18/2008 |
| Q: I’ve been married to my husband for over 15 years now. We have a 12 year old son together. My ... A: I am so glad that you wrote to ask this question and share your situation with me. These questions ... | |
| Mental abuse by my wife | 12/4/2008 |
| Q: Three years ago I married a girl from Mongolia who is 21 years younger than me, because she said at ... A: Legal advice is beyond the scope of my expertise, but I would strongly advise you to call and see if ... | |
| Mental abuse by my wife | 12/4/2008 |
| Q: Three years ago I married a girl from Mongolia who is 21 years younger than me, because she said at ... A: I am so sorry to hear that you are in such a stressful situation. It does not sound as though this ... | |
Domestic Violence
Answers by Expert:
Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, CRC, CNHP
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
I am able to answer questions with regard to problems that result from emotional abuse or physical abuse in both dating and marriage relationships. Having been in an abusive relationship for many years, I know first hand the feelings, the questions and the doubts we go through as we try to make decisions about our lives. Often victims of abuse have deep faith based concerns regarding staying in these kinds of relationships which I am able to address as well.
Experience
My background started as a victim of an emotionally abusive relationship as well as having family members who were victims of violence and physical abuse. I have gone on to become a professional counselor and I work with abused women.
Organizations
American Mental Health Counselors Association,
American Association of Christian Counselors,
International Association of Prayer Counselors
Publications
I currently maintain a blog at www.livingwellcc.blogspot.com. I also have links and currently written articles on my website at www.livingwellcc.com. You can also follow me on TWITTER @livingwellcc, or on facebook at Living Well Counseling and Consulting. My writings have appeared in The Good News Northwest and the North Idaho Business Journal
Education/Credentials
Licensed Professional Counselor,
Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor,
Certified Rehabilitation Counselor,
Certified Natural Health Professional
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