| Subject | Date Asked |
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| What to do with a daughter? | 11/13/2009 |
Q: My wife and I feel stuck in a situation and have no idea where or how to move forward. Our daughter ...
A: I understand your worry and frustration and rather than give all the advice I have in my book as my ...
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| Will I lose the kids if I report? need help | 11/2/2009 |
Q: I need help and stumbled across this forum. My husband and I have been best friends since ...
A: Jess, He isn't going to change. All abusers blame their victims or are defending themselves. His ...
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| stress / lonliness / grief | 10/20/2009 |
Q: What are some hints as to how a survivor of domestic violence can deal with stress and loneliness ...
A: It's tough, isn't it? Find a local support group (call your local shelter for battered women) and ...
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| What should I do about this marriage? | 10/18/2009 |
Q: I have felt many times that I should leave my husband. I sometimes feel that it was a mistake to ...
A: Stacy, If you let this man take care of your child, you should have your parental rights taken ...
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| Teenage Daughers | 10/15/2009 |
Q: I am a mother of two boys and two girls. I have been divorced for 5 years. When I got divorce I ...
A: You stop being the rescuer for your children. You say no and stick to it. They don't respect you ...
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| Domestic violence after relationship ends | 10/5/2009 |
Q: How do I stop the violence and isolation since the marriage ended? I was abused during the marriage ...
A: For so long, the justice system didn't believe the women so now, it's gone the other direction. You ...
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| do I have to name my abuser? | 10/4/2009 |
Q: I was told by my abuser that if I left him he would kill me. He mentioned that if I ever file a ...
A: Every shelter has different rules, depending on where you live. Call your shelter and ask them. Talk ...
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| do I have to name my abuser? | 9/28/2009 |
Q: I was told by my abuser that if I left him he would kill me. He mentioned that if I ever file a ...
A: If you file a report, you have to give a name. If you want to just move forward and know he'll leave ...
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| now what do i do? | 9/27/2009 |
Q: I've been in a abusive relationship and it has been going on for the last 18 months.My daughters ...
A: The intelligent part of you is saying leave this guy in the dust and never talk to him again. You ...
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| anger | 9/23/2009 |
Q: Today is the anniversary of my split with my husband of 7 years, it is also my sons 5th birthday. ...
A: I'm so glad you asked this question because it's very important and I hope any victims reading this ...
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| I am violent | 9/10/2009 |
Q: Why do I feel so alone? Am I so alone? Recently, my husband was arrested in a domestic violence ...
A: Abuse is a learned behavior so you aren't a freak but you really need to go into therapy and find ...
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| tryin times =( | 9/1/2009 |
Q: im a single parent of a 3yrs old. my son father & I r not in a relationship. but what im goin threw ...
A: Christina, sometimes we have to make a choice so we can have a normal life and be happy. You said he ...
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| All about me | 8/31/2009 |
Q: My husband and I had a hard start when we first were dating when I was 17 we would fight and ...
A: Let him laugh about you going to counseling. As a matter of fact, find a therapist but don't tell ...
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| Your book has inspired me | 5/28/2009 |
Q: For 5 years I was in a violent relationship and reading your book has inspired me to write about ...
A: Several things about telling your story: Who is going to be your reading audience? Christian, ...
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| Emotional abuse? | 5/6/2009 |
Q: My ex and I have managed to stay friends for over 14 years after a divorce. He knew that I was ...
A: Not really emotional abuse, Kathryn. It seems like he just needs to move on or perhaps, has found ...
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| Verbal Abuse | 4/23/2009 |
Q: What to do? I have been married for 6 years, and I thought as many do I could change my husbands ...
A: If your best friend was going through this, what advice would you give her? This man is going to ...
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| is it abuse? | 4/14/2009 |
Q: I have a very confusing situation and I am not sure if it is any kind of abuse. my husband and I ...
A: Tamara, I know you're scared (been there) but I also know that temporary fear is better than living ...
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| is it abuse? | 4/13/2009 |
Q: I have a very confusing situation and I am not sure if it is any kind of abuse. my husband and I ...
A: You need to sit down and seriously consider if you want to spend the rest of your life this way ...
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| Help | 3/27/2009 |
Q: I've only been married to my husband for a short while and I am really scared. I don't know what to ...
A: What kind of religion does your husband practice that allows men to treat their wives this way? ...
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| Finance | 2/19/2009 |
Q: I've read your book, "Whose Face is in the Mirror". Your book does not address how to leave when ...
A: It sounds like you are doing very well. Good for you! Another good book is, Men Who Hate Women and ...
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| Son's situation with domestic violence & OTHER (i.e. drugs/alcohol) | 2/17/2009 |
Q: my son lived with his girlfriend for 1 yr. the 1st 9 mths were "fine", the last mths were filled ...
A: As a mother myself, I understand your feelings but I'm afraid I'm with your husband on this. Men can ...
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| Finance | 2/15/2009 |
Q: I've read your book, "Whose Face is in the Mirror". Your book does not address how to leave when ...
A: Some of it depends on where you live because different states have different laws but the most ...
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| my husband cheats on me , hits me and calls me names | 1/18/2009 |
Q: i have been married for two years with no kids,i am 23 years and still in colledge(finals) and also ...
A: Mercy, He showed you who he was before you married him and has shown you who he is after so what do ...
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| Domestic Violence | 12/23/2008 |
Q: I have a question about domestic violence. My husband and I are ordered by the court to stay away ...
A: It depends on the judge, how your husband responds, the local laws and basically, what kind of mood ...
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| domestic violence and confused | 12/22/2008 |
Q: I am one who has been leaving the same guy for over ten years and can't seem to break the cycle. I ...
A: First of all, he is not a nice guy. Nice guys don't do what he does so stop making him sound better ...
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| verbal and physical abuse | 11/24/2008 |
Q: I met my husband when I was 14 and he was 15, we got married in 2005. My husband hit me the first ...
A: Isn't it strange what we settle for? "at least he's not hitting me." Do you understand how you are ...
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| Will I want to marry someone because of sex? | 11/23/2008 |
Q: Well I am 13.I can say that I learned about sex at a very eary age.When I was six,I had a crush on ...
A: Corinna, You need to see a counselor. Ask your mom to arrange it for you before it's too late. I'm ...
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| Teenage Love | 11/11/2008 |
Q: Our daughter has been in a relationship for the last few months with someone who was originally her ...
A: It's nearly impossible to predict the future but you do have to be very careful with this. I often ...
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| Domestic Violence | 10/27/2008 |
Q: My i am a student from Tennessee. I was recently assigned a research paper and I decided to research ...
A: I am going to send you to other resources for your answers because my office doesn't keep or quote ...
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| i'm not sure | 10/24/2008 |
Q: I've been married for 5 years, and have a preschooler. My husband was very controlling and ...
A: They don't change if they are allowed to continue with the abuse. They get away with whatever their ...
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| Does this make me a bad mother and is this a cause for a divorce or something? | 10/21/2008 |
Q: Call me sick or whatever but you're not coming from my point of view.I was looking at this little ...
A: I have no way of knowing what your husband or any person will do. "As a man thinketh, so is he." ...
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| Does this make me a bad mother and is this a cause for a divorce or something? | 10/20/2008 |
Q: Call me sick or whatever but you're not coming from my point of view.I was looking at this little ...
A: Corinna, Please find a therapist in your area that can help you dig through all of this. You sound ...
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| two abusive relationships | 10/17/2008 |
Q: I was married for 18 years until the abuse became far too much. As I had two young children it ...
A: I could write a book on this topic...oh wait, I already did! I understand you not wanting to repeat ...
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| abuse | 10/4/2008 |
Q: My 16 year marriage broke up 3 years ago and i jumped straight into a serious relationship with a ...
A: You need validation and support. I found a site for you that I thought might help or at least be a ...
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| Married 21 years today. Confused. living with an abuser | 10/1/2008 |
Q: Today, October 1, 2008, makes 21 years married. My story is one of mental, emotional and physical ...
A: Oh Stacey, of course you're confused because you're being conned. He's conning you and you are ...
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| Am i doing the right thing? | 9/30/2008 |
Q: I have been married for 9 years. After being married for 3 mths my husband, due to low esteem would ...
A: You're the only person he's been with because there are very few women who would put up with being ...
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| successful working women and husband's jealousy | 7/10/2008 |
Q: Many women are well educated and career oriented in Saudi Arabia and Arab countries. They use their ...
A: I believe it is a cultural problem. No doubt, your ancestors(female) didn't work and weren't ...
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| Is this okay? | 7/6/2008 |
Q: My question is does a husband have a right to force himself sexually on his wife even if she says ...
A: Carla, this can be complicated. It depends on your culture. In America, it is expected to have sex ...
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| domestic violence | 6/23/2008 |
Q: i am a 43yearold woman who has survived domestic violence. I was with my abuser for over 20 years ...
A: Call 1-800-799-SAFE and ask for a shelter in your area. They will be very helpful and are able to ...
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| I just want to wake up and act with clarity and "right-doing" | 6/20/2008 |
Q: My spouse and I married quickly after double rainbows, shooting stars, and a baby on the way. When ...
A: Call 1-800-799-SAFE and get the name of your local shelter. They will offer you a safe place to live ...
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| Is it abuse? | 5/6/2008 |
Q: I am divorcing a man who has made 2 false DSS reports against me (the ending is I am a fit parent ...
A: Oh my word! You are sooooo confused. Yes, this is abuse. Mental, verbal, emotional and financial. ...
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| I doubt the severity of my situation | 4/30/2008 |
Q: I will have been married four years in June. We have a 3 1/2 year old son. I am planning to ...
A: You are doing what most abused women do--minimize the abuse. If we don't have bruises, we aren't ...
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| Need help | 4/25/2008 |
Q: I am married to an abusive husband. There is no doubt. We have a child involved but I am reluctant ...
A: Call a shelter in your area and ask about a support group or ask if they could recommend a ...
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| Sexual abuse or my fault? What should I do? | 4/19/2008 |
Q: I met my father when I was 10. I was in foster care and he didn't know that I existed until he got ...
A: Your question is so very important that I wanted to put you in touch with another friend and author ...
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| filing domestic charges on someone | 4/13/2008 |
Q: my family went to get our stuff per our court orders and I was pushed and hurt by my husband/ex. ...
A: You probably aren't going to like my answer but it comes from experience so trust me on this. Let ...
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| domestic violence | 4/6/2008 |
Q: "Hi I need some advice. I have been married for 17 years. Until recently my husband and I got on ...
A: What are you being punished for? Trust me, he's punishing you for something whether it's real or ...
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| I don't know if I can keep doing this. | 2/18/2008 |
Q: I am not sure how to start this. My husband and I have been together for 4 1/2 years. We have 2 ...
A: Your husband needs to grow up! What a big baby. It bothers me that something that could have hurt ...
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| where do we go from here? | 1/26/2008 |
Q: I am 24 y.o. and have been married to an Israeli for about a year now things are usually great he ...
A: Is it a custom for an Israeli man to act like he's still single and go out with friends one night a ...
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| HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | 1/24/2008 |
Q: i live in colorado, recently my parents and a judge put an order of no contact out on my boyfriend ...
A: Christina, You are a minor. Your parents are responsible for you. I don't know why they took out an ...
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| Is it Domestic Violence? | 1/14/2008 |
Q: When I first met my partner I thought he was kind and thoughtful. Although I remember being stunned ...
A: Please, please, please buy a copy of my book and read it. All battered women (yes, you are one of ...
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| Loneliness | 11/12/2007 |
Q: I am a 70 year old woman. I have 4 children that are all 50 y/o or almost. In March of this year ...
A: Your email made me so very, very sad and I want to start off by telling you how sorry I am. I find ...
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| verbal abuse from xboyfriend how to keep child from being exposed | 10/16/2007 |
Q: I was recently involved in an abusive relationship. Not physical but verbal. It started off only ...
A: Dawn, I would try to make him pay your attorney fees. Let's hope the child support division does ...
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| verbal abuse from xboyfriend how to keep child from being exposed | 10/15/2007 |
Q: I was recently involved in an abusive relationship. Not physical but verbal. It started off only ...
A: Dawn, You need to hire a good attorney...now! I doubt if just pushing him will bring about rough ...
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| talking with your abusive spouses parents | 10/4/2007 |
Q: do you have any advice for how to talk with your estanged abusive husband's parents on why you left ...
A: If you haven't spoken to them in five months, I see no reason to offer any details and by the way, ...
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| healing | 9/17/2007 |
Q: Could you please give me a list of concrete ways to heal from an abusive relationship specifically: ...
A: I'll tell you what I did because it worked for me. Read every book on domestic violence that you ...
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| Mother/daughter conflict | 9/7/2007 |
Q: My 26 year old daughter and her 5 year old son are living in my home. She disrespects me through ...
A: Make her take on more responsibilities. Pay her own bills, etc. Yes, she knows that you won't kick ...
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| Mother/daughter conflict | 9/6/2007 |
Q: My 26 year old daughter and her 5 year old son are living in my home. She disrespects me through ...
A: This is what I believe is happening. Her living with you at her age makes her feel useless and she ...
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| help | 9/2/2007 |
Q: OK I did it. I left my husband of 8 years. I moved into a 2 bedroom apt. We have 3 kids together- ...
A: What you are feeling is normal. All battered women go through it but don't think that his not ...
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| trying to date after an abusive marriage | 9/2/2007 |
Q: My husband and I divorced 4 years ago. He was emotional abusive. He pushed me a couple times but ...
A: "He only punched holes in the walls and threw things at me" Hi Sandy...the above statement shows me ...
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| what do i do now? | 8/20/2007 |
Q: I was with my ex for a year and I moved out of our apt 6 mths ago. He became abusive pyhcially and ...
A: Brandi is my daughter's name! Okay, what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Almost all victims do ...
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| Spouse who abuses alcohol | 8/16/2007 |
Q: I am a 29 yr old mother of 3 wonderful children-7,6,& 2. My spouse is 31 and we have been together ...
A: I know you are confused, hurt and angry right now. I'm sure the question...if he loves us, why ...
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| How do we tell the abuser we're leaving? | 5/14/2007 |
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year, and it has been very turbulent. I can't ...
A: Sandra, There is no way to tell how an abusive personality will respond so I suggest you meet him ...
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| Do victim's lash out too? | 5/10/2007 |
Q: I have been dating this man who has been abusing me emotionally and mentally for the past year and ...
A: Christina, Yes, victims will lash out. A lot of times they want to but are afraid of being abused ...
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| Please help!!!- Mother being abused | 5/2/2007 |
Q: I grew up watching my mother suffer physical, emotional, and verbal abuse. As a result, she has had ...
A: Leah, you can't force someone to do what is best for them. Your mother is so deeply enmeshed with ...
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| relationship advice | 4/30/2007 |
Q: My partner of 3 years recently told me he would like to end our relationship. We started out as flat ...
A: I know you must be hurting and feeling very confused right now. I know many people who were raised ...
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| What should I do? | 4/10/2007 |
Q: I am in a dilemma. I am married for 12 years and have 2 children. I do not consume alcohol or smoke ...
A: I'm not sure what you mean by thrashing you but will assume it was verbal abuse. I feel that it's ...
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| Accused of abuse--a trend against US men | 3/23/2007 |
Q: Just recently a law was passed in the USA to assist foreign women or immigrants who marry American ...
A: No, I have not heard of this but it does sound like a scam. How awful for the unsuspecting spouse. ...
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| abuse | 3/21/2007 |
Q: I do not know if I am in the right place for asking this but here goes.. I have severe depression.. ...
A: When we are raised around the threat or actions of an abusive person, it's like always waiting for ...
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| DV assault | 3/4/2007 |
Q: I am currently involved in a DV case with my girlfriend. She was highly intoxicated and punched ...
A: I feel the only option would be for your girlfriend to appear in court on your behalf and explain ...
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| my spouse | 1/14/2007 |
Q: I have been married for almost 5 yrs and I have three kids. I have been seperated from my husband ...
A: You are so confused! If you could look at this situation through your best friend's eyes, what would ...
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| Spousal abuse | 1/1/2007 |
Q: I am currently getting a divorce from a woman who in my estimation is mentally ill. I have been ...
A: I found this site for you: ...
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| Abuse | 10/26/2006 |
Q: I'm 14 and live in Florida. How can I help stop child abuse? Brianna
A: First of all, if you ever witness child abuse, report it to the police. Second, call a local child ...
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| Domestic Violence in a Marriage | 10/26/2006 |
Q: I can't believe I'm actually doing this, writing an email to you. It's the same story that you have ...
A: It's difficult to reach out and admit you are a victim of domestic violence, isn't it? I remember ...
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| is husband crossing the line | 10/22/2006 |
Q: I have a problem with my husband of 8 years. I have taking antidepressant meds in the past and there ...
A: I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. This is emotional and verbal abuse and is designed to bring ...
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| Can this marriage be saved? | 8/22/2006 |
Q: I'm 26, have been married only 5 months. I met my husband while traveling in Israel, and had known ...
A: I want to ask you an important question. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What hopes do you ...
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| Divorce | 8/9/2006 |
Q: In January of 2006 I left my husband of a little over a year because he was beating me... I have a 1 ...
A: First of all, congratulations on what you've done to better yourself and the future of your child. I ...
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| Is an Abusive Relationship a one-time occurence or Ongoing & habitual incdents | 7/18/2006 |
Q: I understand if someone lives in an Abusive Relationship , it is comprised of Ongoing, reoccuring or ...
A: There are other issues than abuse here. It seems the two of you are very unhappy in this marriage ...
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| domestic abuse | 5/29/2006 |
Q: Three weeks ago my partner left after I ended up in hospital. He was violent, in that he strangled ...
A: You're probably going to find this hard to believe but your question is very common with battered ...
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| Your Book | 4/11/2006 |
Q: I saw part of your story from your book "Whose Face in The Mirror?" on Ask Damaris.com. I work for ...
A: If it's from my book, I believe you need to get a release from my publisher, Hay House. The contact ...
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| husband filing for divorce /i was abused | 2/5/2006 |
Q: my husband says i abandoned him ..he was very controlling and threatned suicide and tried to hurt me ...
A: Your heart breaks for the dream you had of a perfect marriage. We all want that but then, we choose ...
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| Comment | 9/7/2005 |
Q: I just read parts one and two of you book last night and wanted to tell you what a wonderful book it ...
A: What a nice message. I always appreciate it so much when I know my words have helped another. And, ...
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| verbal/physical abuse by my alcoholic/drug addict boy friend. | 8/10/2005 |
Q: On July 12, 2005 of this year I fled in fear and anger from my boyfriend of 22.5 years. I was very ...
A: I'm sorry you're going through this. I thought about you last night before responding because it's ...
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| options for housing for an abused mom/family | 11/16/2002 |
Q: ..my sister just put her hubby in jail because he was threatening her and physically abusing her. ...
A: I'm so sorry that your family members are going through this. Since a shelter isn't an option, you ...
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| Drugs and Lesbian Domestic Violence | 9/22/2002 |
Q: I hope maybe you can provide some insight regarding my friend and her erratic behavior. I'm a ...
A: Robert, Why would you want to be involved with such a dysfunctional woman? It is clear (from an ...
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| Personal Opinion | 2/23/2002 |
Q: I'm trying to understand a girlfriend after a bad once loving relationship. I've made an inventory ...
A: When I read your description of this young lady, I couldn't help but notice that most of the ...
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