Dream Interpretation/shot in head by ex

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Question
Hello. I am quite concerned with this dream. Although it may seem to others that the interpretation would be easy to assume once you hear the story that goes with it, but its been quite some time since the situation was a regular occurrence. I feel as though I have moved on & let go. I've been through therapy & counseling & thought the past was left in the past. However, my dream says otherwise. I was sleeping today, as I dirk third shift & had a vivid dream in which I recall every detail. Which is rare for me. Anyway, in the dream I was at some type of event for the union where I work & am in the bathroom with a girlfriend & suddenly she is dead on the floor & I am surprisingly calm a hooded man comes around the corner & fires a warning shot from his handgun & I remain completely calm until I feel the cold barrel  on the back of my head & in the instance that I panic, 2 shots are fired in to the back of my skull & do not exit. I am alive. I feel only strong pressure in my head & slight headache & the calm feeling has returned. The hood comes down from the man's head & I see the familiar face of my violently abusive ex that battered me in real life for a couple years. I am still calm & very much alive. He picks me up & carries me to a car & puts me inside. He drives for a bit & we arrive at my parent's house. He lets me out & I say, "this isn't going to hold up, is it? Im going to die." & he replies with, "yes. that shit is gonna start falling a part." Then I get out & go inside & call 911. That's when I stop remembering. I only remember that I definitely lived.  When I awoke my ears were ringing & there was still a slight pressure built up in my head. I have been finished with my ptsd treatment for quite some time & have moved on from the situation & let go.  Its been quite some time since I was having dreams that woke me up in terror, but this one was the worst & most vivid I've ever had, to my knowledge. It is not out of character for him to put a gun to my head & I always say that if I ever were to have another gun held to my head, I'm sure I would faint on spot & this strikes me as odd because in the dream I only panicked for a few seconds & remained completely calm otherwise. Having thought I had let go of & moved on from the situation this dream was not only a nightmare for me but has also stirred up a lot of frustration. Please help me to interpret. Thanks!

Answer
Hi Jenny,

Sounds like you have really been through the ringer!  I'm sorry to hear you've had to experience all that you have and can see how terrifying this latest dream must have been. 

Before I start looking at your dream, just be aware that I don't have any formal training in psychology or anything like that.  Dream interpretation is an interest of mine and I've learnt it from my own personal research and from the feedback I get from those I interpret for.  So make up your own mind whether you think my interpretation is good or not (if you know what I mean!)

While you may well have dealt with the trauma of your past, I don't think you can ever forget about what happened.  I am sure, too, that you have learned a thing or two about the darker side of human nature as a result of your experience with you ex.  Therefore, this subject matter WILL come up in your dreams from time to time.  

For example, I am guessing that your ex was an impulsive and paranoid control freak who never took any responsibility for his actions and continually blamed others/you for everything that went wrong.  Is there someone else or some situation in your life that fits this description?  Perhaps a boss or someone/something you have to deal with through your work?  Might even be someone or something to do with your social life?  Or both?  If so, then this would explain why your ex has appeared in your dream.   Your dreamself is saying, "oh, I've seen this kind of behaviour before!!!. I'll just highlight this in a dream because it might help to make sense of what is going on."

So while your dream was obviously unpleasant to say the least, it doesn't mean necessarily that you have not moved on from that difficult time in your life, it just means that you have learned from it.  In particular, the calmness you expressed in the dream seems to suggest a rational frame of mind - which you said does not fit with how you would react to this situation in real life.  Therefore, it probably relates to some other situation you are going through.

There are other things in the dream also that can give you a clue as to what it's about.  A few things jumped out at me in your dream.

Firstly, your dream was set at work, so it might well be to do with something that is going on at work for you at the moment (but not necessarily.). Also, your friend was lying dead on the floor in the bathroom and had been shot.  Often, death in dreams can represent an ending of some sort in your life.  In addition, a bathroom can represent the desire to cleanse and wash away some issue in your life - and make a fresh start or just wanting the situation to come to a conclusion.  Your friend could  represent a couple of things.  Firstly, sometimes the people in our dreams represent our relationship with them.  So just say that there had been some change in the nature of your relationship with her, this might explain her death in the dream.  For example, say she or you moved away, or she  was working with you and left the job (or you left the job) or you spent less time together or your relationship changed for whatever reason, this would explain that part of the dream.  

Alternatively, people in our dreams can sometimes represent somethng about our own life.  How would you describe your friend?  How is she similar to you?  How is she different?  Is there something going on in your life which reminds you of these descriptions of her?  The fact that this was set in the bathroom might mean that you wish to remove something from your life that is somehow like your friend's life.

Another part which jumped out at me was that this hooded man fires a warning shot.  So it seems in real life, you have been warned about something, or you have/had an uneasy feeling about something. It could be a situation where you really felt like or knew something was about to happen, and then it did happen.  It is also interesting that you remained calm, but when you did panic, this is when you got shot.  So this might be a situation where you have to keep a low profile or keep your cool, stick to your guns (excuse the pun) stay calm, even bluff your way through. As soon as you show signs of weakness, this is when things might "fall apart".

Jumping ahead now a bit with the dream, at the end you said, "this is not going to hold up is it?". I think this is really giving you a clue here as to what the dream is really about.  Is there something going on in real life which you feel is not going to hold up?  Like you're trying to build something or save something that really perhaps can't be saved and you're building a house of cards around it?  Then your ex says "yes that shit is going to start falling apart".  So it seems that the dream is really about what is going on in you dream at the moment and this thing that you are trying to keep together and keep it going, is just going to fall apart and will not prevail.  Maybe the shit is really going to hit the fan over something??? Lol.  

One last thing, the bit where your ex picks you up and puts you in the car and drives you to your parents's house, this is going to be symbolic also.  Cars and driving in dreams often represent our journey through life.  The fact that your ex was driving suggests that whatever has been going on with you lately has really been controlled or directed by forces beyond your control (because it wasn't you driving).  The fact that your ex was holding the gun also says to me that this is some kind of power struggle going on and you don't have much of that power so you have to use your smarts to work through it. It is interesting that he dropped you off at your parents house.  Whatever drama is going on for you now might conclude with something to do with your parents.  Again, your parents will represent some aspect of yourself.  How is your relationship with them?  What advice would they give you know?  

Well those are my thoughts on your dream.  I hoped it helped to clear things up for you.  And sorry I took so long to respond.  I did a bit of thinking about this one and put some extra effort and information in there as I could see how disturbing it was for you.  

I hope that whatever is going on for you right now will sort itself out.  I think your approach in general, which is to stay calm and be rational about it, is really the best thing to do.  another perhals secondary message which came out for me is to really trust your instincts when it comes to these sorts of problems.  

Let me know if you have any comments or questions or want me to clarify anything.   I would be only too happy to help further if needed.

Take care of yourself.  

Dream Interpretation

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I view each dream as a metaphor for what you are experiencing in your life. My goal is to guide you into discovering the meaning of your own dreams by explaining the logic behind dream symbols, posing some guiding questions for you to think about, and presenting some possible scenarios as to what your dream could relate to. I believe that dreams reflect our true thoughts and feelings about our life and can therefore help to clarify where we should direct our life in the future.

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