Dream Interpretation/Recurring Person, Different Dreams
I want to know why my ex boyfriend keeps showing up in my dreams. He is not a bad person and the break up was unexpected and unwanted by both of us. However that was nearly 4 years ago and I have had other relationships since then. This past year I have been having dreams of him and at first I didn't mind it but now as much respect I have for him and as much as I don't mind him, I just want to stop dreaming about him. Before my dreams of him were lovely and made me wake up and just want to be with him but I knew I couldn't, but now they aren't filled with love. They are confusing and frustrating and I don't even know who this ex boyfriend truly is anymore. My most recent dream of him went a little something like this:
-music playing from my computer while I was sleeping, same song in dream, makes sense.
-music was only playing to cover up parents fighting in the background
My Dream: I was at a convenience store, the song I was listening to crizzly on my head phones and I was checking out. (The DJ crizzly was founded by my ex boyfriend then shown to our mutual best friend and then was shown to me by the best friend)Then when the song ended for me I still heard it and he (my ex) was there getting candy. I saw him but turned back to the clerk and just wanted to get out of there not knowing if I should say hi. Then I hear "oh my god that's weird hey you" and I go:" Oh hi I didn't even see you there HI!" (Even though I did see him) Then we stood there for a few minutes are were talking and I told him I was just listening to the same song and hes like that's so wild! and I'm like yeah I know man! and then I waited for him to check out and he tried to make a move on me but I put my hand out and was like I cant do this with you, its to hard for me. And he started to say something along the lines of " It'll be different this time" and I put my hand up got in my car, told him I loved him but I had to stay away and drove off.
This dream in general is typical of my dreams of him lately. But with that being said why am I still dreaming of him even when I don't want to be, and how do I stop. I want to stop dreaming about him for good.
Usually a person will come in to your dream because either you thought about them in the day or so before the dream, or else something reminded you of them (in a subconscious way) in the couple of days before you dreamed about them. In order to stop dreaming about a person, I guess you would first need to work out what they represent, and reconcile the meaning of the dream within yourself.
One thing I should mention too, you said at one stage above that you don't really know who your ex boyfriend truly is anymore. I am sure you know this but the ex boyfriend in your dream is not the same person as he is in waking life. Most dreams are entirely created from our own minds.
Dreams about specific people can be a bit tricky to work out because sometimes they represent your relationship with them or your thoughts about them, and sometimes they repesent some aspect of yourself and your life.
What do you associate with him? How is he different from yourself? And how is he similar? If you had to only choose a couple of words to describe him, what would those words be? Now think about how those personality traits feature in your own self. For example, lets just say he was a very agreeable person who never said no to anybody. Perhaps in the past you were like this also. Hence, your dreams about him in the past might have been of you getting along with him very well. However, perhaps lately you have decided you can't agree to everything you've been asked to do. So now your dreams might be telling him, "no, I can't do this, its too hard for me.". This is just an example to give you an idea of what I'm talking about and not a true interpetation of your dream but maybe there is some other personality trait of his that could fit into your dreams like this??
You said that you started dreaming about him a year ago. What happened in your life a year ago that might have triggered the dreams? Think back to that time and what was going on in your life.
Another common reason why people dream constantly about an ex is because of unfinished business with them. You said that when you broke up, neither of you wanted to? This would definitely be a case of unfinished business! You said in the dream that you loved him. Is this still the case? Are you sure you don't want to get back in contact with him? Why DID you break up? Was it a distance thing? Are you in a relationship at the moment? Is that the reason why you don't want to dream about him any more??
Unfortunately, when it comes to unfinished business, you can continue to dream about someone for years and even decades later. Perhaps the best way to deal with this is to ask yourself why you don't want to see him in your dreams? You could write all your answers down on a piece of paper and just contimplate each one. Then ask yourself if there is any reason why you DO want to see him in your dreams. Write those answers down too. Maybe some patterns will come out. Maybe there is some other issue in your life which will come to the fore.
Now to your dream... In your dream, you were at a convenience store. When you buy things at a shop in dreams, it is usually about making choices in real life. Note that you were at a "convenience" store. So perhaps you have been making certain decisions because it is the convenient thing to do. Also in the dream, your ex bought candy. Candy is something which tastes really nice, but it is very bad for you. So think whether you've been doing things or agreeing to things because if feels good, but you know it is not the right thing to do. By the way, do you remember what YOU were buying at the shop???
The other part of the dream was the bit with the song. .I guess the reason why the song was in your dream is because you were listening to it as you slept so the song choice and lyrics might not be specifically symbolic. Perhaps drowning out your arguing parents might have triggered something about the dream also?? Was there any similarities between your relationship with him, and your parent's relationship??? Just something to think about. The song did work its way into your dream in a deliberate way. In the dream, you were listening to the song, then your friend listened to it, then your ex listened to it. (Is that the case? i got a bit confused with this part of the dream). Music in dreams generally symbolises harmony of some sort. And especially that your ex was listening to the same song as you, I guess the dream is saying that there is some kind of harmonious connection between you and your ex (and your friend for that matter.)
The last bit of the dream seems to be reflecting your mixed feelings about him perhaps? (Or it could even be your feelings for someone or something else, depending on what your ex represents in your dreams). You don't know whether to acknowledge your feelings or pretend it's not happening. Then you tell him you love him, but you have to stay away and it's too hard. So I guess this is just summing it all up.
Well those are my thoughts about your dreams. Not sure if its helpful or not to your ultimate desire not to dream about him anymore though. It might help to just get a piece of paper and go through all the questions I've asked above and write down the answers so you can think about those in your own mind and face up to any feelings you mit have head on. This might help to clarify why you are dreaming about your ex now and not earlier.
Please let me know what you think. Feel free to ask more questions or make comments, I love to get feedback.