Dream Interpretation/Me again

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QUESTION: Hello, it's me again. I had another interesting dream last night. When I went to do a follow up from your previous answer it wouldn't let me for whatever reason so I had to post a new question instead.

Iím back again with another dream about my ex that was a bit strange to me, but also had a part that Iíve had dreams about throughout my life. Youíve been fantastic for me so far and hope that it can continue!

It starts with my ex and I walking trough/leaving a very large parking lot. A girl on a bike rides by and almost hits us because she texting on her phone. I comment at her as sheís passing about getting off her phone and paying attention to where sheís going. We keep walking, and I turn around a minute or so later and she and a male now are chasing us down on their bikes. I toss my keys to my girl and yell for her to run to and get in the car. They catch up to me and start essentially jumping me. They get me on my stomach and start dumping olive oil (seems strange to me) and another liquid on me that burns greatly. The guy then gets on top of me and presses his knee into my spine causing me lots of pain and arching of my back before I wake myself up.

The ending of this dream, at least the part where someone is pressing an elbow or knee into my spine has happened various times throughout my entire life. I always wake myself up and feel like I am in pain and always have an arched back like Iím trying to get out of it. I feel like there has to be some sort of symbolism in this? The fact that it has happened multiple times before and now at the end of this dream with my ex makes me curious about it again. Thank you again for your help, you are awesome and very helpful!

ANSWER: Hi Jeff, I might look into why you couldn't send a follow-up question.  I think this has happened to a couple of other people too.  Thanks for letting me know.  (And thanks for your very kind words!!! Lol)

A parking lot is a sign that you are putting some aspect of your life on hold.  I think this is really confirmed when the girl rides past on her bike and you say, "get off the phone and watch where you are going!". So maybe you've taken your eyes off the future because of some communication issue?  The girl on the bike was being distracted by her texting so this is going to represent some aspect of your own life.  You might be still going throu the motions of life, but you might be being distracted at the same time and therefore, are not able to put your full attention on where you are going.

When you start being chased by the girl on the bike, and then a man as well, being chased and running away in dreams can mean that you might be avoiding something or not facing up to something directly in your life.  Eg, you might be denying that something is a problem or dismissing it.  Or, you might realise something is a problem, but you don't want to, or don't feel you can, do anything about it for whatever reason.  So you might be putting it out of your head, ignoring it, not speaking up, not defending yourself, or something along those lines

At this point, you tell your ex to run and get the car.  Well this would be an obvious way out of being chased by bikes, as a car is more powerful and can go faster, but it also might mean that one way of avoiding this issue in your life, is to bury yourself in work or just getting on with life without dealing with the issue at hand.  On the otherhand, as the car is more powerful and faster than the bike,  it might be about choosing a path with more chance of success compared to a path you might otherwise have taken. (I'm not too sure about this bit, I might be reading too much into it so feel free to ignore this bit).

The olive oil is an interesting twist!  Any idea what the other liquid was? Also, any memory about where abouts on your body they were dumping the oil? The man and the girl catch up with you and pour olive oil on you.  AND the olive oil BURNS you, which is also a bit of a twist because in real life, olive oil is thought to be a very soothing oil for the skin.  For instance, it is often used on the skin of babies because it is thought to be more pure and less aggravating to the skin than other lotions. I did a fair bit of research on the meaning of olive oil and couldn't get past the Biblical references to it and the use of olive oil for Christian ceremonies and purification.  Olive oil was also used for annointing the skin, much like a moisturiser does today.  So the fact that this burned your skin makes me wonder if you've had any negative experiences with something/someone associated with Christianity or some other judeo christian tradition.  Or maybe you have a negative view of Christianity or something like that. If it hasn't got anything to do with Christianity, it might be about the purifying qualities of olive oil in general.  In ancient times, olive oil was also used to cleanse the body.  In reality, apparently, olive oil does have anti bacterial qualities.  Also, consider that olive oil is described as extra "virgin" olive oil - which refers to purity of a different kind!!!  So if olive oil is being dumped on you and it burns, it might be saying that you don't want to be cleansed of something of your life, you are quite happy the way you are.  In fact, an attempt to purity or cleanse your soul or your life of something is causing you a lot of personal pain.

Also, the chasers forced you on your stomach which is a very submissive position.  Because this bit of the dream seems to be a recurring theme for you, it might be about being forced into submitting to something.  In this part of the dream, someone digs either their knee or their elbow into your spine.  The commonality between the knee and the elbow is that they bend so I think this bending action is what the dream is getting at here (rather than any other symbolic meaning of either the knee or the elbow)   The spine, on the other hand, is not so flexible, especially as your spine was being bent backwards!

A spine is often associated with having courage and conviction and acting on your personal beliefs and speaking up when you need to.  So I think this knee/elbow in the spine thing is about bending your will or compromising your beliefs but feeling that you are being forced to do so and perhaps not feeling like you can do anything about it.  You might feel that you just have to go along with things even if you don't think it's right.  It might not necessarily be someone in your life doing this (although it could be) it might be more an internal battle of not being able to find a balance between personal beliefs and compromising and bending the rules a bit sometimes.  Note also that the knee in the spine and arching the spine causes you a lot of pain so bending your will or making certain compromises in your life might really bother you a lot.  Well, again, I'm not exactly sure about this knee - elbow - spine thing, so let me know what you think. The main thing, I guess is that it puts you in a very powerless position and you are trying to wiggle your way out.  So if you can identify any patterns in your life where you feel powerless or compromised in some way, it is probably about this.  Also, this is not specificly pointed out in the dream, but if you feel guilty about stuff, it could be to do with that.  

I did not address the fact that your ex was in the dream again.  I suspect that there was something about your ex which made you feel stronger.  Perhaps there is something about her approach to life or her personality that would really help you.  Maybe she had some personal quality that gave you strength perhaps?  And maybe if you had that personal quality yourself, you would feel stronger or more confident?  On the otherhand, unfinished business can mean that you keep dreaming about someone.

Well hopefully you are able to send a follow-up question to this, but if you can't, I have made myself "available" so you can send me a new question if need be.  

Take it easy.


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks for your quick response; I apologize for my lack of the same as life has been kicking my butt lately. The life on hold part is accurate the more I read into it. My eventual educational goal has been put a bit on hold (kind of, although it is summer without grad classes anyway) by all of the distractions I have at home as well as the breakup (which is only very slowly getting better). Between a family member who is sick, as well as an unexpected move of my roommates across the country for a better business opportunity which left me scrambling to try to find a roommate, life has been full of distractions this summer which has delayed my goal of accomplishing out of the classroom studying that I had planned for the summer.

The chasing converts still to my feelings about my ex I think. My problem is that I need to get over her and move on but the fact that it is extremely difficult to do so and a part of me doesnít really want to. This most likely is the problem that I face I think as it relates to most parts of the dream. Itís something I know I have to do but itís already been so hard sometimes I just donít want to do it.

A part of the tossing the keys to my girl was that I forgot to mention was that I recall doing it as a way for her to escape and I would continue in another direction to allow time for her to get away as they would continue chasing me and not her. Does this change anything about what you think it means?

I unfortunately do not remember what the other liquid was, and donít think I ever really knew because I was confused about it initially. The olive oil part does not have to do with Christianity I donít think, as I am indeed a Christian myself and have no doubts or problems with my faith. Could the ďnot wanting to be cleansedĒ have to do with the fact that part of me does not want to move on from the relationship? That I think a large part of me will be in love with her forever even though I likely need to move on?

The part about the spine thing also puzzles me as well, as Iíve been trying to think of a recurring theme throughout my life. Iím usually pretty much in control, although one thing I feel like it could possibly relate to what you said is my feeling of powerlessness with the women I fall for. Most often (until my past relationship), I would fall for women who were either a) not interested in me in that way, or b) already with someone else. I think the lack of being able to instantly remove my feelings at those times could possibly be the feeling. Although I can in no way relate them time wise, itís just a common theme that I came up with. Iím assuming that now, it probably means that I feel powerless (which I do) about moving on and my inability to do so which makes me feel alone and sad at times as she was my best friend and Iím still in love with her. Do you think that makes sense?

When we were together, I felt like she completed me, like she made me a better person which also made me feel stronger. She also had to deal with a lot of tough breaks in her life like I seem to be going through now and she always handled them with grace and kept her chin up which Iím struggling to do. Itís definitely a trait of hers that I wish I could do better. I feel unfinished business is also there, as Iím constantly wanting to have a conversation about the end of our relationship so I can try to understand it better but itís just not something she wants to do. This is a barrier to my acceptance of the whole thing I think.

Thank you again for all your help. Iím interested to see how my responses change/affect your thoughts about the dreams. Thanks again!

Answer
Hey Jeff,

You have been having a tough time - sorry for taking so long to reply this time.

I think all the things you've figured out about the dream seem to fit perfectly.  The part where you throw the car keys to your ex, well this explanation does change things a bit.  Since she went one way, to the car and escaped, while you went the other way, and because you gave her the keys, I would say this is symbolic of you allowing her to get back on track with her life, while you deal with most of the emotional pain.  You said that she does not want to talk about the reasons for the break up.  If you have decided to respect her wishes, then that would definitely fit in with this part of the dream because you are allowing her to go her own way even though this is causing you pain - particularly as you cannot seek answers to your questions about the relationship - this is making it difficult to move on for you.

The olive oil cleansing explanation - I think you are right here.  It would definitely fit in with not wanting to be cleansed of this relationship.  Saying goodbye and letting go is obviously going to cause a lot of pain.  I guess when people talk about someone else's break up, they might say, with all the good intentions in the world, "forget her" or "move on and find someone else".  These comments are meant to encourage someone to cleanse themselves of their ex - the person that is apparently - causing the pain.  However, in reality, such comments can cause more pain and loneliness I would think.  so the olive oil, while it would be expected to be a soothing thing, caused pain in your dream.

Your explanation of the knee in the spine part of the dream is probably right also.  If you feel powerless to your feelings for someone, and that ultimately these feelings cause you pain, I would say that fits in well.  It is difficult to be flexible when it comes to matters of the heart.

Your last paragraph makes a lot of sense too.  I guess there will always be a place in your heart for this woman, and that's not such a bad thing.

Hope things are going ok at the moment.  It is a very difficult time for you at the moment so take it easy on yourself.  And as always, I am happy to answer any follow-up questions or extra dreams.  

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