I have already asked one expert whom could not answer me, but i kept my question in the same format as to provide a little background info as to who i am, what i do, ect.
P.S. i have not been deployed to Combat Zone, only Korea.
Male, 21, United States, Caucasian, Catholic, Heterosexual, Single, Medic in US Army, Healthy
Problems in life: In my profession I tend to the needs of many patients. I worked Emergency Medicine (ER), currently in Primary Care (Family Medicine and Internal Medicine). I use to work in the back of an ambulance in Korea when I was stationed there. General Military way of life which is stressful and demanding but nothing that I am not capable of handling.
Principles: I am very dedicated to my profession. I will be continuing to reach a high level of education and aim to obtain that of a Doctorates and practice in either the fields of Family Medicine, Emergency Medicine, or maybe even Psychology.
Fear: I generally do not feel "fear". Since I have been diagnosed with Anti Social Personality Disorder, this has been explained why I do not feel these basic human emotions such as fear, happiness, ect.
Previous Traumatic life events: I cannot say that I have or do. I have seen multiple suicides and traumas, but nothing haunts my thoughts due to these; so no, i do not. Plus growing up, i was always draw to dark subjects and other peoples misfortune. (No, i did not kill animals or anything to that nature)
Hobbies: I tend to jump from one hobby/interest to another.
Hopes: Obtain dream job, get married, open private practice, live a semi-normal life
Dream: So as I previously mention, I have been diagnosed with Anti Social Personality Disorder as well as ADHD. I know this alone will explain a lot as far as personality goes, but i love getting multiple views on subjects such as this as well as the general knowledge that is the medical field and it specialties such as Psychology and Psychiatry. Even though I am young, I tend to take very analytical approaches to problems and solve them in the most logical way possible. Never rule out unforeseen variables. Take all answers with a grain of salt. Get multiple views and always get a second and third opinion from a more experienced/wiser source. With that being said, I do not wish to over whelm you with every minute and indifferent detail that makes me, me. As far as my dreams go, ever since i was about the age of 5, I very frequently get nightmares. In a given 7 day week, 4 of those nights will be an emotionally driven experience of me either killing or being killed by someone I do not know. I tend to wake from these dreams sweating profusely and I tend to remember every detail well, even into the later part of that day. My dreams tend to follow this same structure and pattern. The setting is usually a familiar area, but my assailant may sometimes be someone I know, majority of the time, or some I may not, but this is not so common. Whenever I am hurt in my dreams, my mind does seem to emulate the pain I would experience if it were real, and usually at this time, I awake. Typically I would awake in the very early morning leaving me a few more hours to sleep. I then tend to slip back into that same said dream. This has been going on since I was very young. I did not take any medication growing up. Only recently have I started medication for my ADHD which has procured no side effects as far as i can tell, so i know these dreams are not results of mind altering substances. Like i previously states, i do not feel "fear". I honestly rather enjoy these dreams. What people tend to find scary, i actually find enjoyable. I do not tell anyone about these dreams. I rather look at them as being a part of me, nothing special. They can be very graphic and adrenaline fueled.
Hi Trey, thanks for sending me your question. Just thought I'd better let you know that I'm not trained in psychology or psychiatry at all. Just a regular person who has a flair for the metaphorical.
By the title of your question, I am assuming that you are wondering whether your dreams are indicating psychopathic tendancies or not? If this is the case, then perhaps you will find it reassuring to know that killing, being killed and death, etc is one of the most common dream themes there is if not the most common. You said that you don't find the dreams scary at all and in fact quite enjoy them. From my experience, most people who have dreams like yours probably would find them terrifying - but not everyone. You said that the dreams are very emotional. What kinds of emotions were involved? Its interesting because you said with your antisocial personality disorder, you don't have feelings like other people do. It would just be interesting to see if those emotions come out in your dreams. My personal opinion (not being a professional) is that whether or not you do have psychopathic tendancies would have more to do with your waking thoughts and actions than what happens in your dreams, but of course dreams and our waking thoughts are all linked. It really depends on what you are thinking and doing while you're awake and conscious.
The vividness of the dreams and the fact that you remember them through the day says to me that you have excellent dream recall. I see this as a skill that some people have and one that others can learn if they put the effort in. It is to do with having a greater awareness while you are dreaming. Just as an aside, this skill can be lost so don't take it for granted!
Anyway, back to interpreting, it would really help if you could send me a dream in its entirety by describing it from start to finish. Sometimes things that might seem insignificant are actually quite helpful in figuring out what a dream means. Its all about the context in which things happen in the dream and is a bit difficult to determine anything from looking at general themes.
Having said that though, death and killing and being killed in dreams is often to do with things coming to an end in your life (because death is an ending and so is symbolic of waking life endings). So for example, some circumstances which might trigger a dream about death and killing in particular might be relationship or friendship problems or break-ups, or people who are changing jobs or changing or finishing school, etc, etc. Sometimes a death or killing dream can even be triggered by someone questioning their personal beliefs.
You said that you would have dreams like this around 4 nigts a week and have done since the age of 5? You also said that you quite enjoy the dreams. Is that while the dreams are occuring or afterwards or both? Given the frequency of the dreams it might be saying that change is a big issue in your life. (Eg, since death in dreams represents an ending of some sort, and once something ends, some other phase of life starts, then dreams about death can be said to be about change). And the fact that they are also enjoyable in some way, might be suggesting that you thrive on change or really enjoy a challenge and need that constant stimulation of learning and doing something different. I could imagine that your current profession, where you would never know what was going to happen from one day to the next, would really suit you! And in reality, the world really needs people like you who can get the job done and stay calm, rational and logical without their emotions getting to them. There are so many professions which require this.
Having said all that, sometimes dreams about death, inparticular killing people and people killing or trying to kill you, can indicate and issue with conflict with the people around you. This is because violence in dreams can be representative of conflict in general. If someone is killed then this can represent the ending of a relationship or changes in the way you relate to certain people or in the way they relate to you as a result of the conflict. Do you find that you are constantly or at least quite often in conflict with others? And since these dreams started when you were young, were you often fighting with other people? If so then this might really explain things.
Putting these two theories together, if the constant conflict theory rings true for you, then maybe this stems from your need for constant change somehow? Eg, if you are in the same job for too long, or have to deal with the same people for too long, perhaps you get iritated or something by that and feel like you need something new?
One other thing worth mentioning too (although I acknowledge that you've had these dreams since the age of 5) is that people who have witnessed traumatic events in their jobs like you have, even though they can handle it and aren't plagued by memories in their waking life, can often have recurring nightmares like yours. This is because while their waking self is fine with it, their dreamself has other ideas. There is a theory out there that we possess more than one consciousness inside us and when you think about it, this has to be true on some level because something is creating our dreams and most people don't consciously know what is going to happen next in their dream so they can't be creating it themselves - it must be something else - something with intelligence and creativity. Most people are comfortable with the idea that they have a subconscious mind where they are affected by thoughts and feelings they didn't know they had, but I think people would be a little more skeptical about there being two (or more) conscious minds within us!. Anyway, something worth thinking about.
Well that's about all I had. If you could send me one of your most recent dreams, that would really help. The theories I gave you above are more educated guesses and putting the pieces of your dreams and your life together and could well be off the mark without you giving me more detail about an actual dream you had. A recent dream would be better because it would be easier for you to then link it to events in your immediate life situation. Normally I like to dish out advice to people after interpreting their dreams but I'm holding off on any advice to you until after a get a whole dream (in case I was completely off the mark and then my advice wouldn't really make sense!)
In the meantime, let me know what you think. I hope this was helpful in some way.
Take it easy.