QUESTION: Google translate refused to help but I hope you will.
How do you say " I fucked up my whole entire life!" and "My heart is in need of this girl" in Dutch?
ANSWER: Hello Anders,
This is for sure not a sentence that Google gets to translate every day. Maybe they have an obscenity filter. Well, I will not translate profanity but I can still give you a translation that carries the meaning;
"Ik heb mijn hele leven vergooid!"
"Mijn hart verlangt naar dit meisje."
In the latter sentence, it may be too literal to say " dit meisje" in the way you wrote " this girl" because it sounds a bit archaic or childish. You could translate it to "... haar" (her) or "...deze dame" (this lady) or "...deze schone" (this beauty, if you want to be a bit more poetic.
Please let me know if this helps.
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Google says that schone can also means clean. Is this the case and are the different usages of this word?
It also seems that you used schone not as an adjective but as a noun. Could you please explain.
In "dit meisje" and "deze dame" you use different words for "this". What is the difference between dit and deze?
There are indeed 2 translations. Obviously, I didn't mean 'clean'. The words is indeed an adjective but can be used as a noon too. Please think about "Charles the Great". Here, great is a noun even though it's usually used as an adjective. Also, the Dutch name "Filips de Schone" is in English "Philip the Handsome".
The difference between dit and deze is that they are demonstrative articles for the subject (https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aanwijzend_voornaamwoord). This is different per grammatical case (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammatical_case). A girl is feminine but every diminutive noun is seen as neutral.