AboutSue Expertise I will answer questions in the area of Child Development for children ages two to five. This includes social, emotional, cognitive & language development, large motor & fine motor skills, behavioral issues, potty training and parental concerns. I can give ideas for lesson plans and classroom activities. I will also help with daycare/preschool policies. I can also help with licensing requirements for preschools/daycare, however, I am only familiar with the licensing requirements for the state of Michigan.
Experience I have been teaching in preschools for 25 years. My main experience has been with children two to five years of age. The last 16 years I have been the lead teacher for the pre-kindergarten program.
Organizations NAEYC
Education/Credentials I have a B.S. degree and a teaching certificate in elementary education with a ZA endorsement (child development) from my graduate level classes.
Question Hi Sue,
We are parents of a 32 month old boy. I have a question about his gross motor skills and pattern of behavior and was wondering are these linked and if you could advise on how to go about consulting on it.
Our son is an extremely "mellow" toddler/boy. He is always smiling. He development all skills fine and at the right time (e.g., turning, walking, speaking, etc.), however, he has an issue with running and jumping -- he does not really run but appears to "walk faster" and cannot jump. In Gymboree class from the very beginning he won't play like other kids. When amongst other kids, he is scared to do activity on his own. He would always want to hold hand of his parent and then do anything like sliding, etc. He may slide on his own only when no other kid is around or once he's become very familiar with that slide, e.g., but mostly he will want to hold hand of his parent to go through any activity. He is very clingy especially in public. He plays alright with "familiar" kids and very well inside home environments. But outside he will not participate in any activity alone. Also, we have noticed that he is very, very scared of walking on balance beams, etc. with the fear of falling. He seems to have some fears that are inhibiting him to do engage independently in public, unfamiliar environments, hence always wanting to cling and hold hands. He is so shy that if people look at him he'll lower his eyes. When an adult calls him, he is scared to respond although he clearly understands that adult, e.g., when the adult says "Hi-Five", he will be scared to respond.
Despite all this, he seems to be learning OK otherwise -- speech is increasing, can make puzzles, draws now a bit.
In summary, we are wondering if this the pattern of poor gross motor skills (not being able to run, jump) causing problems for him so that he is scared of "playing" or being around other unfamiliar people.
(1) What can we do with gross motor skills improvements? Can we provide a therapy and improve it so that it does not become a handicap for him later in life.
(2) How can we remove the fears and clinginess that he demonstrates in public?
Any help will be greatly appreciated.
SK
Answer Hi Shekhar,
It sounds as though your son is just very shy (which is fine) and needs to build his confidence and self-esteem. All children develop at different rates. so at this point I would not be concerned. Give his lots of opportunities for large motor activities. It doesn't have to be anything special or organized games. Go for walks and jump over cracks in the sidewalk or sticks. Play with him and chase him when outside.
Encourage him to try new activites, but don't force him. If he needs you to hold his hand while he tries the balance beam, then do so. Make sure all your comments are positive about how well his is doing. Don't criticize him or make him feel like he should be doing it by himself or doing it better.
I think that as his self confidence builds he will become more independent and less 'clingy'. This will not happen overnight. It will take time and patience. Also some children will always be just a little more shy than others. That's ok. I'm not sure if he has any time when he is with a group and you are not there. That may be something to work toward. Possibly attending a preschool at least 3 days a week.
