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English as a Second Language/Please could you check my writing Thanks a lot

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Question
Dear sir or Madam,
I am writing with reference to your advertisement In Daily Mirror dated 26 of January.
I think my skills and experience make a great fit for the Position Of Juniour Manager.
I am a 20 year old student at the Local sport College and studying to become a football coach.
I also have some management skills. I was in charge of promotional sports projects aimed at increasing teenagers and adults'  in participation in sport.
I as well handled a budget of 2500 dollars USA and I supervised a team of part time staff.
I also have some prior experience as a football referee.
I am a hard-working and diligent students with excellent reference from my professors. I was given the title The Best students after I earned top marks during my first semester at college.
I would like to have an opportunity to have an interview.
I can start job after February 1 st.
Yours sincerely,
Ann Browm

Answer
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing in reference to your advertisement in the Daily Mirror dated 26 of January.

I think my skills and experience are a great fit for the position of Junior Manager.

I am a (20 year old) student at the local Sport College, preparing to become a football coach. As far as my management skills go, I was in charge of promotional sports projects aimed at increasing teenagers and adults participation in sports. In that capacity I handled a budget of $ 2500 and I supervised a team of part time staff. On top of that, I also have some prior experience as a football referee.

I am a hard-working and diligent students with excellent reference from my professors. I was awarded the title of "Best Student" after I earned top marks during my first semester in college.

With that in mind, I would welcome the opportunity of an interview with you as I am sure I will be able to demonstrate that I am the perfect candidate for the job.

If offered the job, I am available to start after February 1 st.

Thank you for your time and consideration.
Looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Ann Browm

- here in the US we don't ever mention our age in a job application, so you may want to remove that from your text
- you have capitalized some words that need no capitalization
- most sentences start with "I" it's bothersome, so I tried to change that
- your ending was a bit abrupt, I added there what I consider the "standard" way of ending a business like letter

I hope this helps.

PS - I apologize for not getting back to your messages, I've been super busy lately  

English as a Second Language

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Amy Baker

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I can answer question about grammar, spelling, syntax, idioms, reading and/or writing that pertain to English as a Second Language. I am knowledgeable about both TOEFL and IELTS.

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