You are here:

English as a Second Language/Please could you check my writing. Thanks a lot in advance for your kindness and help

Advertisement


Question
Task_ what book You have recently read.
Recently I have read the book named "Netochka Nezvanovna' by one of the greatest Russia writer Dostoyevsky.
This book is about a girl whose childhood was deprived and harsh. She was born in a very poor family. Her father died when she was only one year old and her mother fell in love and married to violinist player hoping that one day he would be well off and famous.
When her mother met her stepfather she had only a misery sum of money left after her biological father. After the violin player got married her mum he spent all money during his drunken spree.
Netochka thought that he was her real father and even doted on him more than to her mum. He convinced her that when her mum dies they will get rich as he will be a successful and a famous violinist.
They lived very poorly and scraped their living. Because of poverty her mum got ill and suffer from undernourishment. She died from it and her stepfather leaves her in the street. while she tries to catch him she fell off and lose her consciousness. The noble man found her and give her a shelter. He brought up her like his own children but as his wife was against hos adopting Netochka he was forced to sent her to this eldest daughter.
After several years She fond a letter and it changed her life hugely/

Answer
Task_ what book You have recently read.

I have recently read a book named "Netochka Nezvanovna' by Dostoyevsky, one of the greatest Russian writers.

This book is about a girl whose childhood was deprived and harsh. She was born in a very poor family. Her father died when she was only one year old and her mother fell in love and married a violinist player hoping that one day he would be well off and famous.

When her mother met her stepfather she had only a small sum of money from her biological father. After the violin player married her mum, he spent all the girl's money during his drunken sprees.

Netochka thought that the violinist was her real father and loved him more than she loved her mum. He convinced her that when her mum dies they will get rich as he will be a successful and a famous violinist.

They lived very poorly, and it was because of the poverty that her mum got I'll as she suffered from undernourishment. She died from it and her stepfather left her on the streets.

.....(I think there is something missing from your paragraph- I can't really understand who she tries to catch?10
While she tried to catch him she fell off and lost her consciousness. (again...who's the noble man???) The noble man found her and gave her a shelter. He brought up her like one of his own children but since his wife was against adopting Netochka he was forced to sent her to this eldest daughter.

After several years she found a letter and it changed her life hugely.

....so what happened next... I feel as if this is incomplete.

I feel as if you tries to include a lot of info here but for some reason you skipped some essential details from your essay. I haven't read this book and I'm having a hard time understanding what is it about.
would you consider re-writing this and sending it back to me so I can proofread it again?

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Best,  

English as a Second Language

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Amy Baker

Expertise

I can answer question about grammar, spelling, syntax, idioms, reading and/or writing that pertain to English as a Second Language. I am knowledgeable about both TOEFL and IELTS.

Experience

I'm a certified ESL teacher with 12 years of experience teaching K-12 and adults.

Education/Credentials
BSc MEd TESL post grad program for k-12 TESL post grad program for adult ed

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.