Expressing Yourself to Others/Showing Affection

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Question
I met this guy in fifth grade and we've been good friends ever since. This year has been really tough on me, more than the ones before, and he has supported me a lot. After confessing our love for eachother, things started to get better and we've been dating for eight months. Even though I had many bad days, I still was able to smile each of them with him at my side. I really appreciate all he does and try to show it, but he sometimes tells me I'm a bit reluctant when it comes to physical affection. I also look for excuses to tell him what he means to me. I don't want to keep waiting until it's conveinient for me to tell him how much I love him, or be the last to show physical affection. And though we are very affectionate twords eachother, I really have been trying to find the moment to kiss him. I know he cares about me a lot and likes when I touch him, but I'm worried he'd feel like I'm forcing it on him and I keep backing out by just pecking him or closing my eyes and telling him I'm tiered. Should I ask him if it's okay with him, or would that be too awkward? I'm the kind of person that beleives things like this work themselves out naturally, I guess I'm just a little anxious. Do you have any tips for me?

Answer
Hi Nikki, thx for your question. It sounds like your heart/emotions are telling you one thing but you then analyze everything to the point where you lose the emotional piece. Try and stay with your feelings/ emotions and the rest will come naturally.  Communication is key in any relationship so if you feel awkward or aren't sure about something, talking is really the best way to clear the air. If you would feel more comfortable "breaking the ice" by writing him a note or email, that is another option. Hope that helps. All the best.

Shana

Expressing Yourself to Others

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Shanac M.A. Counselling Psychology

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Please note: At this time (September 2013) I will respond with a brief, helpful answer. You will have an opportunity to reply back. Should you desire more in depth feedback of the situation there is a (min) $15 donation fee. Your question will be answered within 90 minutes if it is received between 9:30 am- 5 pm Pacific time. I appreciate your understanding that my time is valuable and that I am a very skilled therapist. Please take your time to review my ratings. I am a relationship therapist and have worked in this area for the past 22+ years. If you are having difficulty in your current relationship, or are wanting to get into a relationship, don`t know how to get your point across, feel unheard, insecure, confused, etc. then I can help you.

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Masters Degree in Counselling Psychology and 22+ years counselling experience with individuals, couples, and families. I have also taught at a community college in my hometown. I currently work in the public mental health system and have a private practice where individuals see me in person. My fee for that service is $120/hr.

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Canadian Psychological Association.

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Masters Degree Counselling Psychology
Bachelor of Arts- Psychology

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I have worked with well over 2000 clients. My work with them is confidential and none will ever be named. They come from all walks of life from the young person living on the streets to the actor seen regularly on television. All are unique and have something wonderful to bring to the counselling process.

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