Expressing Yourself to Others/Communication

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Question
Hello,
I have been dating and am engaged to this man for 2 and a half years. Lately our relationship has become quite stressed. We get frustrated with each other more often. I have a hard time communication with him on what I need from him, and it turns into an argument almost every time. If I get upset about something I almost always jump to anger and I have tried controlling this aspect in my life. But I havenet been very successful. COuld you please help me by giving me some tips on how to communicate with him better, and not always jump to anger during a converstaion? I would really appriciate it! Thank you so much!

Answer
Hi Brittanie, communication is key in any relationship (as you obviously are aware).  It sounds like you two have become quite "disconnected". You may find it helpful to have specific time set aside every couple of days or every night if you can manage that. The two of you can sit down and one person goes first and talks... about their day, what's on their mind, etc. The other person listens only and can speak when asked a question. Other than that their role is to listen and really listen.  No tv, no phone calls, nothing to interrupt. Then the other person gets a turn.  See how that goes. If you still find yourself bickering I would suggest you get yourselves to some couples counselling to get back on track. Hope that helps. Thx for your question.

Shana

Expressing Yourself to Others

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Shanac M.A. Counselling Psychology

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Please note: At this time (September 2013) I will respond with a brief, helpful answer. You will have an opportunity to reply back. Should you desire more in depth feedback of the situation there is a (min) $15 donation fee. Your question will be answered within 90 minutes if it is received between 9:30 am- 5 pm Pacific time. I appreciate your understanding that my time is valuable and that I am a very skilled therapist. Please take your time to review my ratings. I am a relationship therapist and have worked in this area for the past 22+ years. If you are having difficulty in your current relationship, or are wanting to get into a relationship, don`t know how to get your point across, feel unheard, insecure, confused, etc. then I can help you.

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Masters Degree in Counselling Psychology and 22+ years counselling experience with individuals, couples, and families. I have also taught at a community college in my hometown. I currently work in the public mental health system and have a private practice where individuals see me in person. My fee for that service is $120/hr.

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Canadian Psychological Association.

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Masters Degree Counselling Psychology
Bachelor of Arts- Psychology

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I have worked with well over 2000 clients. My work with them is confidential and none will ever be named. They come from all walks of life from the young person living on the streets to the actor seen regularly on television. All are unique and have something wonderful to bring to the counselling process.

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