Expressing Yourself to Others/Expressing The Need to Express Myself
I just don't get it! I want a pixie cut, but my parents refuse to budge. They say I wouldn't like it, that my hair is too curly to look good like that. I've done extensive research,enough to make my mum a bit more willing to let me try this, but not enough for her to help fight my dad on it. I have been wanting a nose stud, but not long enough to want to push them in trying to let me get one (see, I've wanted a pixie cut since sixth grade, and now I'm nearly a Junior in high school). Yet when my aunt asked if he would mind me getting my naval pierced, he said yes. YES?!?! He would let me get a permanent, painful, $30 dollar hole in my nose, but not a haircut that can grow back, will cause no physical scar to my skin, or cost him any money ( my friend's mum, who is a professional hair stylist offered to do it for free, and was even enthusiastic about how WONDERFUL I would look with a pixie cut). It has nothing to do with religion, as my parents are agnostic. It has nothing to do with money, as the cut would be completely free. They allow my brothers, who also have curly hair, to do as they want as long as they brush their hair. They've grown it long like a girl's before! And if they don't want to cut it, or they want to get it cut shorter, all they have to do is tell my parents and they get exactly what they want. I never ask for things, ever. I never cause trouble or fight or break things or make big messes for mum to pick up as the boys do. I keep my laundry folded, my room and bathroom clean, the dogs brushed, pet cages tidy, do random cleaning around the house, help pick up dinner, stay bathed and brush my teeth. The boys do none of those things, not without having to be asked many times and then still complaining about how this takes away from time that could be spent on video games. I have the best grades. I am the eldest. I am the well behaved child. So why won't they even listen to me unless I send them an email, which they are complied to read only to come up with misfitting counter statements against my research and example photographs and such? It's not that I feel entitled to a reward because of the work I do and grades I make, my point is just that despite doing as I am supposed to, my younger brothers who make trouble get most everything they want. How do I win an argument with my parents? I could not just go out and get the cut myself. My stylist would ask me ifmy parents were okay with it. If I lied to her and later she found out, she would not speak to me again. I don't want it cut by just anyone, I want it cut by someone whom's work I have seen. The way she can manipulate curl and wave is spectacular! I want to know what it feels like ot have hair I actually enjoy instead of what everybody else thinks looks good on me. I want to express myself, rather than others expressing me and limiting what I can and can not do with my own hair. I would understand if it were dying or a Mohawk, even down right shaving it bald. However, it is not like that in the slightest. What can I do to show my parents that this will indeed boost my confidence, make me look good, and even if it is a mistake, will not affect anyone but myself in the long run?
its ur life,live it.Take inspiration from this, and remember that no setback is ever big enough to stop you from achieving your dreams.i've found that the best way to deal with parents is to keep them at arms length. of course, let them know they're loved and be involved with them, just make sure they understand their acceptable place to you. that way they don't feel obligated to butt in whenever they want to. if you give parents who are inclined to be nosy and controlling all the emotional ammunition, then you get what you ask for. you are killing your present.you keep yourself stuck in a prison of victimhood. The only power you have is over yourself.Trying to change your parents or make them give you what you wanted is a great recipe for suffering! Living your life trying to prove how wrong they were wonít make it right.if u is older than 18,woman up.accept they is controlling and be prepared to live ur own life,Then you bring yourself into the present and can decide how to shift your way of relating to them. Perhaps it will mean you choose not see them because it does not honor who you are. Or perhaps you choose to continue engaging in the relationship, but simply allow it to be what it is and expect nothing more than they are capable.If you think that forgiving them is condoning what they did or didnít do, then you are missing the point ó-You are actually forgiving and freeing yourself ó- If you are holding onto anger or resentment towards your parents in any way, you are killing yourself.Over the years I have worked with clients that have been raped, abused, mistreated and abandoned by their parents. Yet, they didnít allow that to determine the rest of their lives. You cannot change the past. It is what you choose to do in the present that will determine your future. It takes great courage to take responsibility. Then you no longer have any excuses as to why life isnít working. Or why you may not be succeeding.Your freedom lies in taking responsibility. Then you are truly born.ome simple keys to remember regarding your parents:
- Accept who they are and who they are not: Stop fighting reality. They are what they are.
- Realize that they are also souls on the journey of life: They are doing the best they can. They, like us, are imperfect human beings, learning lessons of karma in the school called Life.
- Take responsibility: Take your power back. Deal with your unresolved feelings. Focusing on your parents distracts you from facing yourself. Let it go.
- Forgive them and yourself: Set them free and in doing so you set yourself free. Holding on only causes you suffering.
- Bless them for the gifts they did give you: Send them love and compassion. What you give to another, you give to yourself.
Remember: Your ultimate PARENT is LIFE itself.
Life is the source of your life. Life is your real Source.
Connect with the Infinite.
ÖGo DIRECT to the SOURCE.
Love. Now.my advice is simplistic.