Expressing Yourself to Others/Lack of things to say

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Question
I was hoping you could give me insight on something that has been a
Source of stress my whole life.

I have always considered myself shy. I have noticed that certain people
Are much easier to talk to. Most times I prefer to be by myself or just with
One or two people who I find it easy to talk to. I have always had a great
Deal of difficulty with a large group of people, and even find it uncomfortable
To walk into a room with many people in it. I have tried to just 'fake it'
In the past, but find it hard to come up with things to talk about.  It is extremely
Difficult for me to make friends as a direct result.

Thanks in advance :)

Answer
peace
peace  
With a little self-confidence and knowledge of the basics, you'll be able to get your point across in no time.Effective communications involves listening as well as speaking.Do you want to overcome shyness or anxiety and be confident and charismatic? Do you want to make effortless conversation with anyone, make friends and get dates easily?he trick is that to a large degree, you get rid of the anxiety by being more social.

Even if social settings make you nervous, you get into them anyway instead of avoiding them. Even if being more talkative is challenging for you, you push yourself to talk more anyway.

You deliberately do the things you fear. And as you do so, you gain social experience and you gradually become more accustomed to engaging in social interactions. Thus, your shyness dwindles away.

If you find it too hard to push against the anxiety and be more outgoing, you simply have to find social opportunities where itís easier to do so. Start with those and gradually move up. This is a key idea concerning how to stop being shy.Working with shy people, Iíve noticed that without exception, they have a way of seeing themselves and seeing social interactions that is largely inaccurate.

For instance, they may see themselves as uninteresting when this is clearly not the case, or they may think others are making fun on them in a social settings although there is little evidence to support this notion.

When talking about how to stop being shy, I always emphasize how important it is to identify this inaccurate thinking.Doing so achieves two things. First, it gives you more motivation to go out, face your fears and be social, because you know your fears are not rational. Second, it enables you to correct the flaws in your thinking. Which leads me to my next pointÖ
Put Your Thinking Straight

I often like to refer to shyness as a mental bug. Youíre thinking is bugged: it generates distorted predictions and interpretations, which creates nervousness. And you need to debug your mind.

Once you know whatís inaccurate in your thinking, you can start to practice thinking in a new, more constructive way.

You can begin to see your qualities, not just your flaws, see the things you do right, not just the things you do wrong, and not make a big deal out of doing something silly in front of others once in a while.Iíve seen many people turn from shy to social: young and old, guys and girls. What they all have in common is that they found a method for overcoming shyness that works and they applied it consistently for at least a couple of months.

And through this continuous application over a period of time, they effectively reprogrammed their thinking, feelings and behavior. This is what enabled them to be more outgoing, make friends and fully enjoy social interactions.One of the most common mistakes shy people make is that they give up too soon, often when the results just started to show and their confidence is close to taking off. And this is precisely what keeps them stuck.

Learn, apply, persist and be willing to invest in yourself. This is the recipe for the utmost success in overcoming your shyness. There is a big, beautiful world out there, with lots of cool people in it. And theyíre all waiting for you.I pray if i have helped  ,feel free to follow up or   and rate me.take  risk ,go for i t.The Deeper Issue Here

First of all, itís worth saying that, clearly in my mind, the even bigger issue than coming across as shy is actually being shy.

Shyness, although not something to feel ashamed of, is detrimental to you and your social life. It makes it hard to enjoy social interactions, to express yourself as you are, to connect with people and to build meaningful relationships. Acute shyness is often linked with high levels of social isolation, loneliness, depression, and even physical illness.

Thatís the real issue. The fact you also come across as shy is less than ideal, but itís only a minor, superficial issue in comparison to the rest. Being shy is the major matter.Second of all, itís worth mentioning that you canít really fake social confidence. Shy and socially anxious people would like to believe that they can just act as if theyíre not shy, and that will quickly fix how they come across, without the need to address the deeper issue. But that doesnít really work.

You need to understand that being shy and not talking much is mostly an emotional issue, not a behavioral issue. It occurs because one feels nervous and uncomfortable when interacting with other people. You can try to act socially in a way thatís different from the way your emotions dictate, but one way or another, your emotions will come out on top and theyíll reveal your true social tendencies.

If you wanna fix how you come across socially, you have to change how you behave habitually. And in order to change how you behave habitually, you have to change your emotions.How This All Got Started

Itís useful to note how all this shyness stuff even gets started. Shy people wanna know how to not come across as shy because they are extremely concerned with their reputation. And itís this very concern with their reputation that makes them shy in the first place.

What happens is that, because they care too much about their reputation and they have certain limiting beliefs, the shy person will fear that if they express themselves in social situations, theyíll make mistakes, or seem stupid, or something similar, and get a negative reputation. So they hold themselves back and they donít talk much. Thus, they end up getting a reputation as a shy person, which is also a negative reputation for them.

So the shy person ends up stuck between a rock and a hard place. If they talk, they may go wrong and gain a bad reputation, if they donít talk they gain a bad reputation. All of this arises because they are so extremely concerned with the way they come across to others.
So How Do We Fix This?

Ultimately, shy people need to put aside this concern with how they come across. Instead they need to put their focus on actually developing social confidence and overcoming their shyness. That will naturally take care of how they come across as well.

As I already alluded to, overcoming shyness entails learning to not care so much about your reputation, as well as overcoming several other limiting beliefs. This is what will free you to be confident, authentic and outgoing in social situations.Shyness is something you can deal with successfully. There are now fast and reliable solutions for overcoming it. You donít have to concern yourself with faking social confidence. You can truly be a confident person others enjoy talking to. But you have to make becoming confident the priority, not merely appearing confident. Most people who lack the social life they want are in this position because they are lacking in these two departments. Social situations commonly make them feel nervous, and they are somewhat socially clumsy.Considering how precious and short our time on this planet is, wasting so much of it is mind-boggling to me. Nevertheless, many people procrastinate for years before truly doing something to improve their social confidence. So Iím writing to hopefully help change that.

There are a few major reasons why we procrastinate in overcoming our social insecurities, which Iím gonna address one by one, and Iím gonna show you how to deal with them:Delusional Hope

This is when a person thinks their shyness or social anxiety will just go away on its own, if they just wait. Kind of like a bruise on your arm that heals itself. Unfortunately, that rarely happens.

You see, the mind doesnít work the same way the body works. Your body repairs itself. Your mind on the other hand reinforces the thinking, feeling and behavioral patterns you already have. So if your thinking is negative, you feel nervous in social settings, and you avoid social interaction, as time goes by this will only stay the same.

In order to change, you need to take conscious action and effectively re-condition yourself to think, behave and react emotionally in a different way. Here is my blueprint for doing this.Lack of Hope

There are also many individuals who lack hope in the exact area where itís important for them to have hope. Iím talking about the people who simply donít believe they can overcome their social insecurities, so they choose to do nothing.

When a person tells me ďI just donít think I can overcome my shynessĒ, I will typically ask them ďWhat makes you think that? Have you tried it multiple times and failed? Have you seen lots of people around you trying it and fail?Ē Theyíll usually reply: ďNo, itís just something that I thinkĒ.

Thatís the kind of thinking thatís not rooted in concrete experience and has little to do with reality. The person thinks they canít overcome their shyness just because their thinking is generally pessimistic, without solid proof to support it.

And this is the type of thinking thatís most toxic. Itís the kind of thinking that keeps folks stuck in jobs they hate, in mediocre relationships, in circumstances way below their potential, all while reality permits so many things to be achieved. Itís the kind of thinking not to be trusted.

Eduard
Taking Action and Taking Risks That Lead To Social Success
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Do you want to overcome shyness or anxiety and be confident and charismatic? Do you want to make effortless conversation with anyone, make friends and get dates easily?

Watch this exclusive FREE presentation right now and learn how exactly.

Afterward, scroll down to read this article.

I frequently say that social success builds up on a foundation of social confidence and good social skills.

Most people who lack the social life they want are in this position because they are lacking in these two departments. Social situations commonly make them feel nervous, and they are somewhat socially clumsy.

Fortunately, there are steps they can take in order to utterly change this. Social confidence and skills can be learned. Itís mostly a matter of training oneís mind to think in a new way, and building positive social habits. I describe this process in more detail in this special presentation.

This process does take some work though, as learning anything meaningful does. For shy and socially anxious people, this is where a lot of procrastination often comes in.

Although they feel lonely, although they crave a better social life, itís common for them to postpone working on their social confidence and skills over and over again, and just try to distract themselves from their problems with TV, computer games, food, alcohol or daydreaming.

I understand this phenomenon. Years ago, when I realized I was socially insecure, I didnít immediately start looking for a solution. At first I just waited, hoping this problem will go away on its own. It didnít. Then when I eventually picked up a book on overcoming shyness, it took me months before I seriously started practicing what I had read in it.

I procrastinated a lot. But eventually I took the necessary steps to find a reliable solution for my social insecurities and I applied it consistently until I became the socially confident and capable person I wanted to be.

When I look at the shy and socially anxious people I talk to today as a social confidence coach, I see a similar issue of procrastinating and not taking action. Only sometimes itís so acute itís shocking even to me.

smileSometimes Iíll have an email exchange with someone whoís been socially anxious for over a decade, and although theyíve read a bunch of advice over the years about overcoming this, theyíve yet to take even the first practical step for improving their confidence.

Considering how precious and short our time on this planet is, wasting so much of it is mind-boggling to me. Nevertheless, many people procrastinate for years before truly doing something to improve their social confidence. So Iím writing to hopefully help change that.

There are a few major reasons why we procrastinate in overcoming our social insecurities, which Iím gonna address one by one, and Iím gonna show you how to deal with them:
1. Delusional Hope

This is when a person thinks their shyness or social anxiety will just go away on its own, if they just wait. Kind of like a bruise on your arm that heals itself. Unfortunately, that rarely happens.

You see, the mind doesnít work the same way the body works. Your body repairs itself. Your mind on the other hand reinforces the thinking, feeling and behavioral patterns you already have. So if your thinking is negative, you feel nervous in social settings, and you avoid social interaction, as time goes by this will only stay the same.

In order to change, you need to take conscious action and effectively re-condition yourself to think, behave and react emotionally in a different way. Here is my blueprint for doing this.
2. Lack of Hope

There are also many individuals who lack hope in the exact area where itís important for them to have hope. Iím talking about the people who simply donít believe they can overcome their social insecurities, so they choose to do nothing.

When a person tells me ďI just donít think I can overcome my shynessĒ, I will typically ask them ďWhat makes you think that? Have you tried it multiple times and failed? Have you seen lots of people around you trying it and fail?Ē Theyíll usually reply: ďNo, itís just something that I thinkĒ.

Thatís the kind of thinking thatís not rooted in concrete experience and has little to do with reality. The person thinks they canít overcome their shyness just because their thinking is generally pessimistic, without solid proof to support it.

And this is the type of thinking thatís most toxic. Itís the kind of thinking that keeps folks stuck in jobs they hate, in mediocre relationships, in circumstances way below their potential, all while reality permits so many things to be achieved. Itís the kind of thinking not to be trusted.

Iím not saying that you should believe with certainty that you can overcome your social insecurities without proof (I believe it, but I have lots of proof). Iím just saying to have some hope that this is something that may possibly be done. And that possibility is what makes it worth trying. If other people have succeeded, why canít you?

This leads me to my next point.
Not Wanting To Take Risks

For some, even when they think it might be possible for them to gain social confidence, itís not enough to take action. Because the possibility of failure is also there, and they donít wanna assume that risk. They arenít willing to try something until theyíre sure itís gonna work. They want guarantees of success.

Interestingly enough, this is the precise kind of mindset thatís at the root of shyness and social anxiety.

You could say that shy and socially anxious people feel nervous in social situations and they donít talk much because theyíre afraid theyíll say something stupid or weird or boring, and theyíre not willing to take that risk. So they end up watching from the sidelines as others talk, bond and have fun.The fact of the matter is that in life, there are no guarantees. If you wanna achieve anything, you gotta be willing to take some risks.

You take risks by opening up and participating in social situations, and the reward is that you get to have a fun social life. You take risks by trying a solution for your insecurities that seems good after an external evaluation, and the reward is that you get to overcome your social insecurities. Even if that solution may not be ideal for you, because eventually youíll get to the right one.

Somehow, this discussion all goes back to time. Time is the only finite resource you have. You donít want to waste away years and years of it by waiting and delaying and avoiding risk, instead of working on overcoming your social insecurities and trying the solutions that exist.

Trust me: years from now, when youíll be looking back at your life, the biggest regret youíll have is having procrastinated, not having taken more action and not having taken more risks. And the biggest satisfaction youíll have is that of having put everything into it and tried all that you could to be the best person possible, and have the best life possible.Peace be unto and peace be upon u forever more,read Jeremiah 29;11 in the bible Old Testament

Expressing Yourself to Others

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communicating,relationships of any kind. One of the hardest things to do when you're communicating with someone is expressing yourself.Fret not I am here to give advice or and ask any questions, some people have a fear of expressing themselves at all. They're afraid to say something that might cost them a friendship. Or they bottle everything up tight and seize up at the mere thought of sharing their true emotions.Tips/advice/ 1.If you have a fear of people, people will avoid you. It's a vicious cycle. You avoid people because you fear that they will hurt you. People see your aloofness, and either think the worst (that you're stuck up), or grant your desire and leave you alone. Then you wonder why it is that no one likes you. 2.When you can't open up to people, people will feel that you are unapproachable. You'll have a hard time getting close to people when you bottle everything up inside. Your relationships will all be shallow. 3.Your inability to express yourself will haunt you in times of trouble. You'll need help, you'll want help, but you won't seek it. You'll hide. So, no one helps you. Then you grow resentful and angry. 4.Another danger is that of isolation. You build walls around your emotions and people instinctively leave you alone. That might be what you wanted at first, but your life will be barren, and empty. Life is relationships. The stronger your relationships the more joy you'll have in life. No matter if it is with your mate, God, children, neighbors, co-workers, friends, relatives, or even yourself, you must learn to express yourself.How to Express Yourself More Clearly and Completely Social anxiety,shyness,low self esteem/confidence,motivation,encouragement ,how to overcome fear,how to express self;how to observe people in conversation carefully,

Experience

Masters Degree in Counselling Psychology; Words have meaning to us. Subtle differences in each word will convey a slightly different idea. Huge and gigantic have subtle differences,our actions[body language/ Words have the power to give life and death...especially in relationships. So it is important that you learn to express yourself. You must learn to convey your thoughts, ideas, dreams, ambitions, hopes and emotions to those that you share a relationship with. Your inability to do so, will damage your relationships.For years I have enjoyed helping people when it comes to any kind of communication

Education/Credentials
Masters Degree in Counselling Psychology

Past/Present Clients
Friendship Church,Charlotte Senior Citizen Center,McCorey YMCA

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